


Edelweiss (Bless My Homeland Forever)

by thecomebackkids99



Series: The Sound of Music AU [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: And there's going to be some angst, Arrow AU, Bratva, But don't worry...it's going to be a happy ending, But nothing too nasty, Daddy!Oliver, F/M, Married Life, The Sound of Music AU, There's going to be some violence so beware, mommy!felicity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-10-23 22:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 84,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10728597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecomebackkids99/pseuds/thecomebackkids99
Summary: It's been two years since the Queens escaped the Bratva. Nestled in the France countryside, they pretend that they're safe. Despite the recent discovery that brings joy to the farmhouse, they can feel the Bratva closing in on them.When someone close to them is threatened, their carefully reconstructed family begins to crumble, leaving them scattered and unsure of what to do next.*It's not completely necessary to read Part 1 before starting this, but it will fill in some blanks.*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!!! It's been a bit, eh? But...good news is that I'm back!!! I'm just going to warn everyone right away: this is going to be a roller coaster. I can't say it's going to be as scream-worthy as the first story, but you never know.  
> So let's begin! Have fun reading, and let me know what you think in the comments! :)

“I’m _what_?”

“Fired.” Oliver grabbed an unused spoon and whacked her backside with it. “Your work has deteriorated―”

“Deteriorated?”

“Mrs. Queen.” He let out a dramatic sigh. “I gave you one job in here, and that was to stir the caramel so it didn’t burn.”

“And it didn’t. Oh.”

“Yes, _oh_. Now get the ingredients out again and I’ll make it again.”

“You dramatic human being.” She puckered her lips and stared at the burnt mixture in the pan. “Sorry. But it’s your fault, because you distracted me. Plus, you probably shouldn’t have asked me to help cook, because this is exactly what happens when I even step into the kitchen.”

“Well, my normal helper is unavailable at the moment, and,” his arm slid protectively around her back to draw her closer to him, “it is our anniversary, and for the second year in a row, we can’t do anything, so I figured we might as well cook together.”

Felicity glanced at the burnt caramel. “Let’s be happy that that isn’t a representation of our marriage.”

He chuckled and buried his face in her neck to give her kisses. They didn’t always get moments like this. They should―it wasn’t like there was anything else to do―but their six kids got in the way. Apparently making out in the kitchen was frowned upon. But today, Ellie had taken the kids to the little town and told them they had a few hours to themselves. Plus, three hours was all Oliver would let them out of his sight.

“What could they possibly be doing?”

“The kids?” Felicity shrugged and continued to steal kisses from Oliver. “Maybe they went to visit Adam and Martha.”

“They’re gone on vacation.”

“Okay, well, maybe they just went to the park.” Which was impossible because this town was too tiny to have a park. The reason why they chose this place. Felicity let out a sigh. “Honey, you can’t worry about them. I’m sure they’re just wandering around waiting for three hours to be up. Oliver…” time to use her warning voice. “They wanted to give us some time to ourselves. Ellie practically told us to make out. And the only thing we’ve done is burn desert.”

He let go of her and leaned back against the counter. Her eyes wandered down to the veins in his arms as he crossed them. Not what she should be focusing on right now, but it was their anniversary. She could ogle her husband while they had an intense discussion, thank you very much. “We went over this last year. And at Christmas.”

“And at New Years.”

“I can’t be all there unless I know where everybody is and I know that they’re safe.”

“But they are safe, Oliver. We are in the tiniest place in France where nobody ever visits, and two people have a TV. Two of the kids have guns. There’s _nothing_ to worry about.”

“Still.”

This was a fight she wouldn’t be winning. It’d only been two years of marriage, but she’d learned to pick her battles, and right now, this wasn’t one she wanted to have. Felicity turned towards the stove and grabbed the pot. “Maybe we should try something other than caramel. Maybe peppermint sauce? I like mint, because it’s very…minty.”

“Felicity, you haven’t gotten any less obvious about anything.”

“We leave you guys for three hours and this is what we come home to?”

Oliver’s taught shoulders relaxed when Ellie pushed open the screen door, the rest of the kids behind her. “Hi guys. And no, we are not fighting.”

“Good, because,” she and William set two paper bags filled with food on the table. “We’re taking matters into our own hands tonight. You two need to go out of the house for a while, because we’re making you an anniversary dinner. We didn’t get to do it last year because we weren’t settled in enough, but now we can. So get out.”

Felicity glanced at Oliver, who shrugged. “This wasn’t what we were expecting you to do when you said you wanted to give us some time alone.”

“Because of our circumstances, you can’t go on a trip, and the only restaurant in thirty miles has cockroaches in their food. Thankfully, the grocery store has plenty of options so scoot.” Ellie pointed at the door. “Go take the horses out or something. Be back at six.”

“Good enough for me.” Oliver grabbed Felicity’s hand. Before they stepped out to the porch, he turned back and smiled. “Thank you.” She echoed the words, and then slid her boots on. Because, yes, that was their life now. Gone were the days of fancy dresses and parties. Instead, they wore cowboy boots and muddy jeans. The rooster they inherited with the farm woke them up at five thirty, even on Christmas.

Despite all that, no one complained―for the most part―because everyone knew what would have happened two years ago if they didn’t come here. Though the goats needed to die.

“How about a walk, instead of horses?”

“As long as I’m with you.”

“Sweet, but you aren’t the one who interrupted our kissing episode with worrying.”

“My mom always told me the first step in changing is identifying and admitting the problem.” When he didn’t laugh, she tapped his arm. “Okay, sorry. That was uncalled for. But it’s kind of true. Though we’ve talked about this a ridiculous amount of times, and there’s been no change.” In fact, she thought the nerves had gotten worse as time progressed. Oliver couldn’t accept that they might be safe, and the longer they were, the more on edge he got. “It’s okay, honey. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m going to eventually worry myself sick.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because two years ago I promised John that I would keep your head on straight, and so far I’ve succeeded.” She looped her arm around his waist and leaned against him as they headed towards the sinking sun. “It’s going to be okay.”

“We can’t even celebrate our anniversary the way most couples get to.”

“Oliver.”

He stopped and turned towards her, his eyes bright. Felicity got up on tiptoes and kissed him. It was quick, and more of a we’re-dating-but-Daddy-said-I-can’t-really-kiss-you-yet kiss but it told him everything he needed to know. And since he couldn’t always pick up the obvious, she looped her arms around his neck and smiled. “Oliver, we could be in the Arctic and I’d be happy. It’s sappy as all get up, but as long as we’re together, I’m going to be happy. I promise.”

It stuttered for a split second, but he smiled and let his forehead fall against hers. “How did I ever find you?”

“Technically I volunteered.”

Oliver chuckled and steered her towards the fields they now owned. “Let’s take full advantage of this time, and it doesn’t need to involve pep talks.”

“I don’t know…I enjoy giving you pep talks.” She also enjoyed everything that sometimes came after that, but right now that wasn’t on their minds. They needed this time to talk. Make some plans. Maybe goals. Though it was practically impossible to make goals, not when they had no idea where they could be in a year. No one did, but they didn’t know…more. Felicity intertwined their fingers and looked up at him, trusting him to steer her clear of cow and horse poop. “It’s hard to believe it’s been two years already. Three counting the year we didn’t like each other.”

“I liked you.”

“You bought me an entire wardrobe of clothes because mine weren’t sexy enough.”

“Isn’t that proof that I probably liked you?”

“No, it proves you were trying to spite me.”

“Either way, it didn’t take too long for me to realize how much I loved you.” He kissed her temple which brought them to a stop. Felicity fell against him and let him swallow her up with his love. She loved moments like this. They had an uncommon partnership; he was the ex-assassin and she was the hacker. Despite the scary descriptions, they managed to love each other and their kids. Occasionally, the assassin got to be a sappy husband who couldn’t believe he’d made it this far.

And sometimes she got to be the doting wife who _definitely_ couldn’t believe it she’d made it this far.

At five thirty, they made their way back. Harper met them at the door and told them to go change into something fancier. Felicity raised her eyebrows. “Honey, we don’t really have anything fancier.”

“We got it handled. Well, for you anyway. But you said you like Daddy better shirtless so…”

Oliver coughed.

Felicity pursed her lips to hide a grin and gave Harper a kiss. “Thank you, dear. I’m going to tell Daddy to put on a shirt, though. It’ll be better for all of our sakes.” With that, she took Oliver’s hand and led him up to their bedroom. She let out a laugh and picked up the dress that lay on the bed. “Wow. Where on earth did they find this?”

“So that’s what they were doing.”

“Doing what?”

Oliver took a seat on the chair and pulled off his boots. “A few days ago, they went over to Martha’s house and came home with a big bag. That must’ve been one of her dresses or something.”

“It’s even got gloves!” She squealed, and then giggled. “They really went all out. Does that mean I get to see you in some fancy twentieth century suit?” A girl could dream, right?

“Absolutely not.” He stood up and walked to their closet. “But as you said,” his shirt came off, revealing the six-pack that still made her swoon. “You prefer me shirtless. Get that dress on, sweetheart.”

She pulled off her clothes and stepped into the pink satin dress that stayed up thanks to a black fluffy band around her shoulder. Black spider webs encased the top half, and gloves topped it off. Good thing she braved the cold water this morning and showered, because this dress―this night―deserved perfect. Her eyes wandered to Oliver who leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, a smile across his face. He’d come so far since she met him, and every day he became a better man, making her fall even deeper in love with him. “Ready to go?”

“Yep. And I gotta say, that looks beautiful on you.”

“Looks like Barry time travelled us back to the 1930s.” She followed him downstairs to the kitchen where all six kids stood, smiling. Annie stepped up to them and did a curtsy.

“It’s a really nice night, so you’re gonna have dinner on the porch. Right this way.”

Felicity let out a long breath when she stepped outside. “Aww, Annie this is perfect.” She looked back at the rest of them. “This is all so perfect. Thank you.”

Ellie shrugged. “We’re in a really odd situation that keeps us from doing a lot of things, but we wanted you to have one special night because you certainly deserve it. There’s dinner, and dessert’s in the fridge. We’re gonna go have a party in the hayloft for the night so you have the entire house to yourselves.” She winked. Oliver coughed again, but stepped forward to give her a hug.

“Thank you, guys. This means a lot.”

“So that means goodnight!” Annie gave them each kisses before running off to the barn, likely thrilled with the idea of spending the night with her horse. After they each said goodnight, Oliver helped Felicity sit down and then took a seat himself.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost two years.” Oliver kept his eyes pinned on the barn for a few more seconds. “Seems like it’s been more traumatic for us than it has been for the kids. At least the little ones. Has Annie told us about any nightmares lately?”

To keep the positive Oliver going, Felicity shook her head. “There’s been a lot less, that’s for sure.” Though Harper told her this morning that Annie had woken up crying two nights in a row. But it was a lot less than two years ago, and only once and a while did she run into their room at night.

They’d all been slowly healing, one day at a time.

When Oliver started eating, Felicity stopped and just watched him. Stupid, but sometimes, when he wasn’t paying attention, she would look at him and thank God for the miracles He’d given the Queens. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She would be here with the kids, and he would be in Russia, killing people. They’d been given a miracle―many of them―and she took every chance to be thankful for it. And to just stare at the man who was her husband.

“Felicity, this is me noticing you staring at me.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

One eyebrow shot up. “And why were you looking at me like that?”

“Because I’m so happy you’re here with me. With us. And I don’t remember if we’ve talked about it before, but sometimes I have nightmares about you not making it to the jet, and it’s just…it makes me happier that you’re here.”

“And did you have one last night?”

She nodded.

Oliver sighed and set his fork down. “I know you already know this, but I have them too sometimes. Back in the day, it was Annie dying and all that, but now it’s the idea of not making it out. And there’s a lot about Russia. But you already know all of that.” A smirk tinged his lips. She giggled. It only took a few weeks of sleeping with him to discover the nightmares about Russia happened when he spoke Russian in his sleep.

It was just one of the things she discovered.

Oliver thought otherwise, but he stole all the covers if she didn’t have a grip on them.

If he slept on his stomach, he snored like a freight train.

And he hit back if she whacked him when he did.

They made small-talk during dinner, sharing random ideas about how they should further expand their farm. It still felt weird to think or say. The Queens. Owned a _farm_. And they did the work, not servants. Contrary to what people probably would think about it, they had fun doing it. It helped to have someone who could snap a chicken’s neck without remorse.

After dessert, Felicity wiggled her eyebrows at her husband. “Hey, honey?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m ready for dessert now.”

“Say no more.” He hopped up and opened the screen door for her. She had to lift up her skirts to get up the step without ripping anything. When the door slammed shut behind them, he scooped her into his arms.

“Oliver!” She squealed and put her arm out to grab the wall in case they fell. “What are you doing? I can walk.”

“You are my wife, Felicity Smoak. Which means that I get to carry my bride up to bed every now and then. While I still can.” He climbed the stairs with ease and stepped into their room. They fell onto the bed together, which elicited laughs from both of them. Felicity stood up to shed her dress and then dropped down next to Oliver again. They looked at each other for a few moments, just drawing in every part of the other.

“I know we’ve been given a lot of miracles, but…” Oliver’s fingers wandered through her hair, then to her neck. “You are the _best_ miracle I ever got.”

She didn’t see a need to respond verbally.

                                                            *******

The past two years had been a slow healing process for all of them, but none more than they had been for him. Nightmares still woke him up, and every now and then, a few of the kids knocked on the door to ask if he was okay. But unlike the five years when he would wake up to an empty bed, Felicity would wrap her arms around him and calm him down. Some nights they didn’t happen, but when they did, he cuddled up to his wife and thanked God for the thousandth time for her.

Oliver woke up at five in the morning when Felicity got up to go to the bathroom. At least they had a toilet. And a sink, though the house didn’t have hot water. He closed his eyes and floated back to sleep, but when Felicity got back, she collapsed down sideways, ending his night sleep. He kissed her forehead and slipped out of the house. Thanks to the animals and there tendency to wander, he had a five-mile loop to run. It gave him time to think, and to make plans. No one knew about them, not even Felicity, but he needed to have options if the Bratva attacked.

When he came back to the house, Felicity and Annie sat on the rocker, a blanket wrapped around their shoulders and a book on their lap. His wife smiled up at him and offered him a kiss. A long time ago, she confirmed that she didn’t mind the sweat, so he gave her a peck on the lips and then kissed Annie’s hair. “How are my ladies this morning?”

“Mama and I are reading about Laura’s mom again.” Annie cuddled back against Felicity and patted the bench next to them. “You can listen too if you want. You’re not that sweaty today.”

“I don’t see why not. But I want some of that blanket.” He dropped down to the chair and pulled Annie onto his lap. “Where are you in the story?” They’d found thirty of the Laura Ingalls books along the way at a second-hand store, which led to Oliver backpacking them across France because he couldn’t say no to the tear-filled eyes of his daughters. They read them so much that it took a quick glance at the pages to see where they were.

Annie dropped her head back against his chest and looked up at him. “Hey, since you’re a guy, you can read the parts when Charles is speaking and Mama can read when Caroline is. Okay?”

Felicity scooted closer to him and put the book between them. “Alrighty. I’ll do the other parts. But in a little bit, we need to have breakfast and milk the cows.” Oliver hid his chuckle. The idea of milking cows still sounded foreign to him. Everyone else seemed to be figuring out how to be a farming family, but he still struggled at times. Firing arrows from two hundred yards away came easy to him, but trying to milk a cow? Round up a bunch of chickens that hated him? That wasn’t his forte.

Ellie exited the barn and trotted to the house. “Morning, guys. Did you have a nice night?”

“It was awesome. Thanks, sweetie.” Oliver gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Did you have fun out there?”

“The only issue we had was the mouse in the hayloft, but William killed it.”

Felicity looked up from the book. “He…killed it?”

“A sword can do a lot of things.”

That wasn’t what he needed to hear this morning. “He really used a sword?”

“Uh huh.” William came around the corner, a grin on his face. “The lessons you gave us in using weapons really came in handy, because then we were all able to sleep.”

“Okay, kiddos.” Felicity shut the book and stood up. “With that, I think it’s time we start the day. Two chapters is enough for now, so don’t pout, Annie. Who wants to milk the cows this morning?”

“I do!” Annie raised her hand. “Daddy can help me.”

“Daddy can’t really milk cows.” Ellie shot him a disapproving look. “You might want someone else to help you.”

“I can milk. I’m just slow.” Oliver set Annie on her feet and turned to go inside. “You go get everything we need and I’ll meet you out there. I need to get a jacket.” Felicity followed him up their bedroom. He went to their closet and waited for the thump on the bed. It came, and then a loud groan erupted a few feet from him.

“He killed a mouse with a sword.”

“That’s what he confirmed.” Oliver peeked out of the closet at his wife, who lay sprawled on the bed, her eyes closed. “Speaking of, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I had to pee five times last night which was ishy, and then I woke up and you weren’t there so I couldn’t fall back to sleep.”

As he pulled a sweatshirt on, he chuckled. “Honey, that wasn’t my fault. You ended up lying straight across the bed. You can sleep some more if you want.”

“I’m worried.”

“Worried about what?”

“The kids.”

So much for blabbering Felicity. Oliver took a seat on the edge of the bed and tapped her nose. “You’re gonna have to more specific.”

“William killed a mouse with a sword. That we have to have. And I know we decided on that, but still. It’s in our barn, and our son used it to kill a little tiny mouse. First of all, who has the courage to do that, and second, how does he know how to do that. But don’t answer that because I know. You trained him. Because he needs to know how to use a sword. And I’m sorry. I am now officially in a terrible mood.”

“It does bother me too. But we can’t worry about it too much. He’s a boy. I remember doing all sorts of violent things at that age.”

“And look how you ended up.”

Oliver’s forehead crinkled when his wife’s words sank in. Was she―

“Oh! Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” Felicity jerked up and put her hands on his cheeks. “I didn’t mean it that way. In fact, I didn’t mean it at all. Don’t listen to me when I’m tired, okay? I’m a bit of a wreck.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” He pried her hands off him and pointed to her pillow. “I want you to get some sleep. You’re clearly very tired.” She didn’t protest as he tugged the blankets back and got her nestled underneath them. He kissed her forehead and whispered, “Just like you said yesterday when I was freaking out, it’s not necessary to worry about something like this. Not right now.”

“I’m sorry, Oliver,” she mumbled with her eyes closed.

“I can confirm that that’s not the worst thing you’ve said to me, and we’re still married, so goodnight. You’ll feel better in a bit.” He pulled the shades over the windows and left the room. Ellie stood in the hallway.

“Is Mom feeling okay?”

“She’s tired. I don’t think she didn’t get a good night’s sleep, so we’ll let her nap for a bit. Can you work on breakfast while I go help the kids?”

“I have a better idea. I’ll help outside, and you make breakfast. It will save us all some burnt food and a lot of time.”

Sometimes he would argue with her, but her suggestion sounded like a good idea today. Some farm work he could do; that was part of the reason he stayed in shape. But milking cow udders could be left to the people who actually seemed to enjoy doing it. He headed to the kitchen and smiled at Piper, who sat on the table, reading a book. “Morning, sweetie. Wanna help me with breakfast?”

“Sure.” She slid off the table and went to the pantry. “What should we have?”

“I think that’s kind of up to you. But nothing that takes longer than twenty minutes.”

“We could have eggs and sausage. Clayton got all those eggs from the chickens today so we have plenty. And we have some of that bread left from last night. Oh, you should know that I did most of the cooking last night. Everyone else is terrible.”

Oliver pulled out a pound of sausage from the fridge and chuckled. “I figured you did. It tasted really good. Hopefully they got some good pointers from you.”

“Most of them I got from you.”

“On how to make omelets?”

“Naw.” She giggled. “You’re good at cooking.”

“Thanks to your mom. And Raisa.”

They went quiet for a few minutes as they worked to get everything ready for when the rest of the kids came in. Oliver loved moments like this. Sometimes it was hard to imagine that a few years ago, he spent most of his time avoiding his children. Now, he spent most of the day with them. And with Felicity. He tried not to wonder if their marriage had suffered here. Most couples spent half of their first year or two in the bedroom, while they spent the first four months trekking across Europe, and the next several starting a farm. The stress had affected them all.

Even their attempts at having a baby.

“Hey, Daddy, the eggs are gonna burn soon if you don’t stir them.”

“Thanks, Piper.” He brushed away his thoughts of a few seconds earlier, and turned to his daughter. “What movie did you watch last night?”

“A movie about seven kids who could sing. It was good, but I can’t remember the name of it. William moaned and groaned through half of it, but even he ended up saying it was good. The grocery store doesn’t have many options. Actually, I think that was one of three movies to buy.”

“Sounds like a fun movie. I think it’s called The―”

“All done!” Clayton clomped in with a bucket half his size that contained milk. “Those cows might be stupid and annoying, but they do produce a ton of milk.” He set it in the fridge and turned around with a clap of his hands. “What’s for breakfast? We kinda forgot to eat dinner last night so I’m starving.”

Everyone found their seats around the circular table that their neighbors had given them. Harper looked around the room. “Where’s Mama? Did Piper poison her last night?”

“I did not!”

Oliver shot Harper a warning look and shook his head. “She’s just tired.”

“And a little ornery,” William muttered.

“Which generally means she’s tired. So we’re all gonna have to try to be quiet for a bit. Maybe school can be done outside. That way―” he paused as a noise reached his ears. Ellie sat up straighter and glanced at the door.

“What was that?”

William stood up. “It sounded like―”

“Everyone get in the basement. Will, grab your mom.” Oliver pushed back his chair and got to his feet as the noise got louder. “ _Now_!” His oldest son ran up the stairs, yelling to Felicity. Ellie typed in the code on the wall that opened the basement door. She ushered the little ones inside, her eyes wild with fear. William and Felicity came tumbling down the stairs. Oliver glanced back at his wife, who held her tablet in her hands. They were trembling.

So were his.

He unlatched the box on the mantle and tossed his quiver over his shoulder. The noise got closer. Two cars. At least. “Felicity…” He glanced back at her. She still stood at the door, waiting for his signal. “Go. I’ll be fine.”

“There’s one of you and at least ten―”

“ _Go_!”

With a loud curse word, she slammed the door. The grandfather clock covered the gap that led to the basement, giving nothing away as to where the family hid. Oliver walked to the door, his bow loaded, prepared to kill as many people as he needed to. That hadn’t worn away, despite how hard Felicity tried to get it to. He could push it deep inside him, but if he needed to protect his family, the killer would emerge.

_God, protect us._ The first vehicle came around the corner, and into the lawn. Oliver relaxed his position and set the arrow back in his quiver. A young boy riding a jacked-up four-wheeler stopped, soon followed by two more boys on dirt bikes. He set the weapons on the counter and stepped out, clenching his jaw at the sight of the kids. They’d better have a good explanation for this one, or they would never venture close again. “Que fais-tu ici?”

“Sorry!” The boy waved his hand to brush the situation off. Like Oliver would let it go like that. “And I speak English. So no need to speak French, unless you are French, but you don’t look like it. My buddies and I were out for a joy ride last night and we got super lost. We thought that you might be able to help us.”

“I haven’t lived here long, buddy. I couldn’t help you if I wanted to.”

“C’mon, sir.” The kid glanced back at his friends, and then looked at Oliver, his expression now more worried than the last cocky look he wore. “We were just having some fun, and we got super lost. Our parents are super worried, I’m sure.”

“Well, maybe this should be a lesson to you that you should make sure you know what direction north is, and you shouldn’t go on joy rides when it’s dark.”

“Hey, be nice to him.” He twitched when Felicity’s hand settled on his shoulder. Why was she up here? Her look said they would talk about _that_ later. She walked closer to the boys and smiled. “Hey, kids. Excuse my husband. He’s a little ornery. He didn’t sleep well last night.”

The nerve of her…

“We don’t have internet access, but we do have a map. Maybe that would help?”

“Thank you so much, ma’am. That would mean a lot.”

“Come on inside.”

“Felicity…” he growled her name and caught her arm as she stepped onto the porch. “No.”

“You aren’t the boss right now, Oliver. They’re lost, and we should help them.” She glanced back at the boys. “Seriously, come inside. Are you guys hungry? I’m sure you didn’t expect to be stuck out in the woods all night.” Oh, she was mad. He knew how she liked to dig her knife in deep, and right now the knife was a sword. Oliver followed his wife and the four boys in, only to get the weapon further deeper into his chest.

Ellie stood by the table, a smile on her face. “Bonjour!”

“Hi.” The lead kid with the cocky smile and way-too-perfect hair extended his hand. “I’m Archer.”

“Lizzie. You got lost?”

“Yeah, we were being stupid. But your dad pointed out that this will be a good lesson for us. Right? Speaking of, I don’t know your names.” His eyes stayed on Ellie, which almost caused Oliver to lift the towel that covered his bow and shoot him in the leg. She continued to smile back. Did they know each other? Or was she that desperate for boys that she would―Felicity elbowed him in the ribs.

He cleared his throat. “This is my wife Megan and I’m Jonas.”

“Who names their kid Jonas?”

“My mother, apparently.”

Ellie snickered.

Oliver kept himself from rolling his eyes and reached for the map on the shelf. He spread it out on the table, and pointed to where they were. “So where do you live?”

“My house is….” Archer pursed his lips. “It’s right around here, but I’m not positive. This is an old map. Guys, can you help me?” His other friends couldn’t identify where they lived either. Oliver glanced at Felicity, who had her eyes on her tablet sitting on the counter. No, no, no. He wouldn’t let her use that to save these brats’ butts. “Why don’t you continue to look. I need to talk to my wife quickly. Ellie…” he couldn’t drag her along with him. Plus, she was a week shy of turning twenty. He couldn’t ban her from talking to males.

Why did it have to be them? He would’ve preferred bad guys to this.

Felicity took her tablet with her to the bedroom down the hall. “Oliver, you are being a terrible, terrible person right now.”

“And you’re willing to endanger our lives by using your tablet to look up where they live?”

“I am not…three, two, one.” She took a deep breath and then whispered, “God help me.” Her gaze went to him again. “First of all, don’t flip out about me using my tablet. I use it all the time; you just don’t know it. Second, no one can track me using maps. Maybe not even my dad can. Third, you should know me better than anyone and know that I’m not doing it for those boys out there who are all flirting with Ellie. I’m doing it for their parents who are likely scared to death that their boys are dead.”

The calmness in her voice brought a truck load of guilt onto his chest. Oliver stared down at the floor and mustered up enough strength to say, “I’m sorry, Felicity. I overreacted and―”

“Save it for later.” She brushed past him and walked out to the kitchen. “Okay, boys. I got my Wi-Fi to work, so go ahead and enter your address here and my husband will escort you back.” 

Archer glanced at Oliver. “Sure he’s okay with that?”

“He’s happy to help.”

 

An hour later, he parked the truck but didn’t get out. How had this day gone this way? He didn’t even want to evaluate how it had happened. It was obvious, and it wasn’t Felicity’s fault. The we’re-going-to-die moment freaked him out, and after it turned out to be nothing―for the hundredth time―he got ornery. At all the wrong people. Oliver took a deep breath and headed to the house. Felicity sat on the porch swing, wrapped in a blanket. She didn’t move over when he came up the stairs, only tightened the blanket around her.

Oliver clasped his hands in front of him, forcing himself to look at her instead of at his feet. “Honey…I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She didn’t look at him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, it’s not fine. I was mean to you and those kids, and I’m sorry about that.”

“I told you, Oliver, it’s okay.”

He studied her, taking note of her pale face and tired eyes. He didn’t know how to deal with this. They’d fought before―some fights lasted for a few days and he slept on the couch―but this felt different. Like it wasn’t just what he’d done or said, or something they disagreed on. “Felicity…” he drew up a different chair and sat down. “What’s going on? Because―”

“This morning I was sleeping and all of the sudden William came into my room, screaming about how we needed to get downstairs.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry about that. I thought it―”

“And you know what the scariest thing was?” She glanced up at him, her eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t panic. I grabbed my tablet from underneath the bed and I ran downstairs. I didn’t start crying, or screaming, or freaking out. And then I watched our son take a gun off the wall and make sure it was loaded. Like it was totally normal.”

“It’s not―”

“Oliver, can you honestly look at this family and say that?”

_No._ He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

“William killed a mouse with a sword last night. Today, he grabbed a gun and looked like he would’ve killed twenty men if he had to. Annie has nightmares. We all have nightmares. Every couple weeks, we go into panic mode when there’s a loud noise, and we have to hide in that stupid basement that we built just so we could be safe!”

“Yeah, we did build that to stay safe.” Oliver shrugged, but his own anger was bubbling inside him. Not just at Felicity; at everything. At the truth that they couldn’t go anywhere on their anniversary in fear of something happening. All of it. “And I did teach my son how to handle a weapon in case something happened to me. Because if something happens, I don’t want to be sitting here, asking myself what I could have done differently. What if sometime it is the Bratva who come to our door? And we’re so tired of the story about the boy who cried wolf that we totally miss it? I can’t afford to let that happen, Felicity, and you know it.”

“I’m just so tired.” She collapsed back against the swing and closed her eyes. “So tired of running, and being scared.”

“Weren’t you telling me not to be yesterday?”

“And then this morning happened, and I realized I was wrong. We can try, but it’s impossible.”

He learned a long time ago that in marriage, the best way to help it survive was to figure out what battles were worth winning. And even if they were worth winning, the key was to decide how to win them, and when. He could win this one, but not right now, and not this way. Oliver tapped his hands on his thighs and then stood up. “Okay, Felicity.” She didn’t open her eyes. He picked her up in his arms, ignoring the flashback to last night and what happened afterwards. He carried her up to their room, and laid her onto the bed. After tucking her in, he kissed her sweaty forehead. “I love you.”

When she pulled the covers over her head and rolled over, he stifled a sigh and marched out to the bar. Stripped his shirt off. There wasn’t much workout equipment around, but he’d improvised, because in moments like this, he needed to lose himself in the pain.

Swear words made their way out as he pumped the iron, and so did the frustration. They’d been here for a while now, with no news of what had happened back at home. Felicity was right; their kids were conditioned into quite possible killers. Everyone loved each other so much that they’d pull a trigger. He slammed the metal bar back into its spot and dropped down to the ground. He couldn’t do anything about…anything. The kids needed to be able to wield a weapon. They needed to go into the basement when he heard a weird noise. It needed to be this way to keep them all safe.

And that was causing his relationship with his wife to come close to the edge of the cliff called problematic.

“Hey, Dad?” William pushed open the door and stepped in. His eyebrows raised. “Are you okay? There were some expletives coming from in here.”

“I’m sorry, buddy.” Oliver rubbed his hands over his eyes. “It’s not an excuse, but today has been―”

“No need to say anything else. Today has sucked.” William took a seat on the ground a few feet from Oliver. “Everyone’s wigged out from that moment this morning, and I can tell when you and Mom are fighting, even without the loud voices and stomping.” He made a face, and then sobered, fingering with the straw on the ground. “I haven’t mentioned this because it almost goes without saying, but there’s been a lot of stress lately. Underlying, but it’s just gotten worse and worse. That’s why me and Ellie came up with the anniversary idea. We hoped that if we gave you some time alone, you’d get things figured out a bit.”

“I’m sorry that we didn’t.”

“You have a lot on your plate right now. It’s okay.”

Oliver smiled. “But?”

William shrugged, and then chuckled. “Try not to tick Mom off?”

“I usually try not to do that on purpose.” He grunted as he stood up. If only he’d known how his body would feel three years from now, he wouldn’t have complained as much about how it fell apart after getting shot in the stomach. “I’m assuming it’s close to lunch time?”

“That’s why I came to get you.”

“Go ahead and eat without me. I’m gonna go talk to Felicity. Don’t look at me like that.” He ignored the curious looks from the kids when he walked through the kitchen. Sweat still dripped from his face, down onto his bare chest. He climbed the stairs and peeked into their bedroom. Felicity moved, and burrowed herself further underneath the covers. _Aww, honey._ A smile brightened his lips as he moved to the bed. “I see you’re awake.”

She didn’t say anything or move.

Oliver sighed and took a seat where he’d have easy access to rub her back. “Okay. I get it. It’s probably better if you don’t talk, because then I can talk without you yelling at me. First of all, I’m sorry. William and I talked in the barn, and apparently there’s been a lot of stress going on. I know I’m the reason it’s there, for a lot of reasons that you know already.

“You are my light, Felicity. But sometimes I think that light is dimming. You’re scared; I’m scared. We’re all terrified of what might happen. And we’re both not acting like ourselves. I know you better than anyone, and I don’t want you to act differently, because you’re who keeps me in line and with my head on straight.” He continued to rub her back, taking note of her movements, and the fact that she still wasn’t pulling the covers back.

“I think…” he took a deep breath. “I think it’s time we start facing this situation head-on. Enough hiding in the shadows, waiting for someone to kill us. We’ve been doing that for two years, and it’s getting tiring. Neither of us are the people who sit on the couch and wait. We have to do, and it’s time to do that.

“You are an amazing woman, Felicity.” He lifted his hand from her back and stood up again. It was time to leave her alone. “I meant what I said last night. You were the greatest miracle God’s ever given me, and I’m so thankful that you are my wife.”


	2. Chapter 2

She stayed in bed the rest of the day, grateful that Oliver and the kids gave her the space she needed. Her anger towards her husband dissipated the moment he started rubbing her back and talking sweet to her. She loved him so much, even if his attitude sometimes grated on her nerves. And her actions had to tick him off too, especially this morning. She’d been terrible to him. All he’d done was try to protect their family, and she flew off the handle.

After the sun went down and the kids went to their bedrooms, Felicity wrapped herself in a blanket and crept downstairs. “Oliver?” He wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen, but she heard a familiar ‘thwick’ coming from outside. She slid her boots on and stepped out into the cool August air. Her husband had his back to her, rapidly firing arrows into the targets on the barn wall.

Felicity took a few steps towards him, but turned around and went back into the house. She brewed them coffee, and then waited for him to come in. Fifteen minutes later, the door opened and Oliver stepped into the kitchen, his shoulders sagged forward. He spotted her and smiled.

“I figured you’d want coffee so I made you some so that I didn’t interrupt your annual poor-me session with your bow.”

He set his weapon back on the shelf before he took a seat at the table. “It’s more than an annual event.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean yearly. More like…weekly.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you for a while. At least not in this state.”

“What state were you expecting?”

“Like the Felicity who called me a selfish you-know-what in front of my kids in that elevator.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t do that.”

“Yes, you did. There’s no denying it. But thank you for making coffee.”

“It’s a bit of a peace offering. I was really bad today, wasn’t I?”

“You weren’t bad. We both had things to get off our chests, and there’s only way that was happening.”

“Well, I’m sorry anyways. And I heard what you told me in bed. Don’t look so surprised.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Before I say anything, can we agree to discuss this like the husband and wife we are, and not the assassin and hacker? Because we need to think about the kids in this situation, and us, and our well beings. Because you were right; I feel like my light is being snuffed out. It’s like when you slowly give your soul over the devil. It’s like―”

“I know exactly what you mean by that.” He flashed her a smile full of regret. “But what’s done is done. Which means that you need to tell me your thoughts on what I said.”

“I’m tired of sitting here. And as you said, you’re an assassin and I have the skills to hack about anything, though as soon as I go online, they’ll find us. But that doesn’t apply right now. We’re basically hiding in a cave and we can’t do that for the rest of our lives. Obviously, Ellie will want to start dating and planning a future and―”

“Agree to disagree on that comment.”

Was she the only one who saw Ellie ogling that kid? _Ignore._ “The point is…enough hiding. Okay?”

“Sounds good.”

“And we’ll find a way to defeat the Bratva, and when we do, we’re gonna go back home and have lots of babies.”

He chuckled and looked down at the table. “Felicity…”

“And I guess I would have a baby anywhere with you, but maybe that’s our problem. Or my problem.”

“It’s not your fault that we can’t have a baby.”

“We’re gonna have to agree to disagree on that one.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “You realize that it takes two to tango, correct?”

“And one of them is not tangoing correctly. And please don’t tell me that there is a child behind me, because you look like there is.”

“No, there isn’t.” He squeezed her hand. “A lot of couples wait years to have a baby. It’s not…that big of a deal. And before you tell me again that Annie and I had kids right away, let me say that we weren’t careful. You and I agreed to give it a little bit until we get settled down. There’s nothing to worry about.”

He produced a fair point, but her brain told her to argue with him. _Don’t you do it, Felicity._ They’d spent the last several hours arguing, and that was enough for her. Felicity took a deep breath. “Okay. I won’t worry about it. Shall we continue discussing our plans?”

He gave her a look that told her he knew her brain wanted to fight. Most of her did, but he put his feet on the table and leaned back in his chair. “I have no idea where to start. The first thing to do would be contact our team back in Starling, but if the Bratva is paying attention, that could give us away.”

“We don’t even know if they’re still alive over there.”

“They’re alive.”

“I wish that sounded more convincing.”

“What do you want me to say?” Oliver shrugged. “I don’t know, Felicity. Whatever we do, there’s a chance it backfires. No, I don’t know if they’re alive, but I have to believe they are, mostly because one of them is a speedster. Knowing Barry, he figured out how to make them all speedsters. But…I’m open to suggestions, because I only know how to fire arrows.”

She shook her head and smiled. “You know how to do a little more than that. But I do think the first thing we need to do is get in contact with everyone in Starling. On Central City. Probably Star Labs. But how do we do that without getting caught?”

“Did the computer genius just ask the person who can barely turn a device on?”

“Okay, I know of ways to do it. Easily, actually. But it would mean putting ourselves out there. Or…no, you would never, ever say yes to that idea.”

Oliver stood up and grabbed the coffee pot off the stove. “I’m open to any ideas right now.”

“You’ve said before that you don’t know how the head guys are, correct?” When he nodded, she continued, bracing for the blowup. “Why don’t we find out?”

“By doing…”

“Going undercover. In Russia.”

Several swear words came with the resounding, way-too-loud, “No.” Oliver rubbed his hands over his face and let out a loud moan as he leaned his chair back. “I’d never put you in danger like that.”

“You would be right beside me the entire time. Except when I go deep undercover because they won’t recognize me with my black hair.”

His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Felicity leaned back and crossed her arms. She could wait. It made sense; maybe the reason why Oliver was never successful in finding information about the Bratva because they didn’t have anything on the deep, dark web. When she voiced that opinion, her husband rolled his eyes.

“Over my dead body will that be happening.”

“Well, it might be over your dead body if we don’t figure something out that is kind of dangerous.”

“Felicity.” He caught her gaze, and delivered a as-the-head-of-this-family-I’m-putting-my-foot-down ‘no’.

“Fine.” No use arguing this one. “But if necessary, we’re doing it.”

He opened his mouth to denounce that one, but then he nodded. “Okay. If necessary, but I’m hoping that it doesn’t come to that. Mostly because I love your blonde hair. And yes, because I don’t want to see you get hurt. With that said, I think we should talk to at least Ellie about the idea. As much as I want to ignore the fact, she’s almost twenty and she deserves to be involved in deciding. William too.”

“Sounds good.” She tightened the blanket around her and sipped her coffee. A smile escaped. Oliver’s eyebrows furrowed as he leaned forward. She looked up at him and shrugged. “I know we’re laying out plans on how to take down a serial killer organization, but I just have to take a moment to be happy. Because not too long ago I wouldn’t have ever thought of that I would be sitting at a table with a husband discussing…anything. Or having a husband. And I’m really sorry about today.”

“I’m sorry too. We both overreacted.”

“Which isn’t too shocking, considering it’s…us.”

He got up from his spot and leaned down for a kiss. Felicity tipped her head back and smiled. When he pulled away, his fingers stayed on her cheeks. “I don’t care what happens and what drama that comes along, as long as there’s an us.”

                                                            ******

Ellie didn’t open her eyes when the rooster crowed. From across the hall, one of her brothers howled, “Can someone just snap that stupid thing’s neck?” William, likely. He and Harper were the aggressive ones. Though she wouldn’t shed any tears if someone killed the rooster. The floorboards creaked as Oliver left his bedroom. Often he left at this time. Sometimes she went with him to go running, but lately she hadn’t. He moved too fast.

“Hey, Ellie?”

“Go back to sleep, Harper.”

“Sorry. I just wanted to mention that those boys yesterday were cute.”

It wasn’t anything she needed to be told. In fact, she knew all those boys. Thankfully Archer had played it cool and not revealed himself to her already grumpy father. That would’ve sent him over the edge. Her parents didn’t need to find out about her friends, and neither did any of her siblings. “You were in the basement.”

“Well, I was looking at the security camera footage and they’re super cute.”

She smiled underneath her covers. “The big issue is that Daddy practically scared them off the property, and I can only imagine what he said to them on the way back to their houses.”

“Maybe you could ask Mama where they live.”

“That is a terrible idea, and you know it.”

Harper giggled. “Daddy would have a heart attack. But still. You can have a boyfriend if you want. You’re almost twenty. He was married by then, and he already had you.”

“Doesn’t mean that he would be open to the idea of me getting married. Even Mom. She’d actually side with him on this situation.” They usually agreed on things, but every now and then, one would get a little temperamental and then her father would be out in the barn for five hours working out. “Maybe we should try to go back to bed.”

“Naw, I’m enjoying the speculation.”

“This is not speculation.”

“Okay, well then it’s―”

“Just so you know, I can hear everything you’re saying right now,” Oliver called from the hall. Harper burst out laughing, while Ellie glared at the door. Great. Here came a lecture at some point about boys. They’d never really had any discussion about it. When she reached the age of boys, he hadn’t been there for her. Diggle gave her the speech about avoiding guys for her dad’s sake. At least that’s what she thought he said. Now, at five in the morning, she would get a long, thought-out lecture from her dad because he overheard them discussing boys.

Stupid barely-there doors that masked nothing.

“Go for your run, Dad. This doesn’t concern you!”

He cleared his throat. “I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me.”

 _No_.

“There’s something I need your opinion on, and this is the best time to do it. I plan on running the shorter route today.”

So only four miles instead of five. Ellie pulled the covers over her head to let out a sigh, but then tossed them away and hopped out of bed. “I’ll meet you downstairs in two minutes.” When he descended the stairs, she rolled her eyes at Harper. “I don’t want to go running or talk to him right now.”

“He and Mama were talking yesterday, so maybe there’s something that he wants to talk to you about. You’re the oldest so…” Harper waved her hand towards the door. “You’re obligated to be our spokesman. Go running, and try to avoid the fact that you thought that kid was cute. Or…” she wiggled her eyebrows. “Maybe he wants to run by you the idea of sending you to a nunnery.”

Ellie whacked her sister with a towel and then went downstairs. She put her running shoes on and stepped out onto the porch. “Jeez, it’s cold out. Is there any way we could build a track underneath the house along with the bomb shelter?”

“Very funny. But you’ll warm up.” Oliver stood up and started stretching. He started doing that after they nearly had to take an emergency trip to the hospital twelve hours away. Not stretching before a ten-mile run did not go well. She bounced around on her tiptoes a few times and started down the path leading to the fields. Her dad caught up to her in thirty seconds, because as much as she and William teased him about his gray hairs, he could still go.

After a few minutes of silence, she shot him a look. “So what do you want to talk about? And it better not be about boys.”

“That’s a conversation that I don’t want to have right now.”

“So can I date?”

 “No. Not right now. But it brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about. Your mom and I decided that we’re gonna go after the Bratva.”

She feigned tripping to give herself a few extra seconds to think about what to say. “Dad…we’ve been hiding away for almost two years. Why now? Is this because of that big fight you two had?”

“It gave us a reason to consider our options. Willie pointed out that we’ve been super stressed lately, and I know that no one has been happy with the situation we’re in. Especially you.” He gave her a look that confirmed what she’d guessed: he knew how much she hated living here. Being stuck in the middle of France, unable to have friends and unable to have a normal life. No college. No boys.

She gulped back a retort and mumbled, “Well, it’s not exactly easy to be here.”

“I know. It’s not easy for me either.”

“At least you’re not a girl with greasy hair who has to shower every day in freezing cold water.” Though she’d gotten used to it, but in a moment like this, it was necessary to dress up the complaining. “And you have Mom. I don’t anybody but my siblings and sometimes that isn’t enough.”

“Just because I have a wife does not mean that I’m happy here. Happier, yes, and it’s a lot easier for me to live, but still.”

“You act like you’re having the best time ever.”

They had slowed down to a walk, but now her dad stopped. He smiled, but she spotted the mist behind his eyes. “Ellie, I spent years by myself, and with most of you hating me. I didn’t have anyone to come home to at night. But now I have all of you, plus Felicity. We might be living in the middle of nowhere, but it’s hard for me to _not_ be happy here. At least a little bit.”

Ellie looked down at the ground as guilt pricked her conscience. “I guess I never thought of it that way. For you, it’s probably kind of nice to be here. But it’s…” she lifted her hands in the air, trying to meet his eyes, but she couldn’t. Too scared of breaking down and sharing too much of herself. “I haven’t gotten to go to college. I don’t have any friends.” That she would tell him about. “There’s so much I’ve missed. And it’s not your fault. The Bratva is responsible for that. So I guess I’m saying that I’m all game for doing this.”

“It’s going to be dangerous.”

“Hasn’t really seemed to deter us before.”

                                                            *******

“I honestly don’t know if I can do that again.” Roy slammed his bow on the table and dropped to the nearest chair. Diggle crossed his arms and stared at him, waiting for words, but nothing came. Especially when Laila’s scream filled the lair. The words he intended to say were sucked out of him, leaving him with nothing else but, “Would you like me to take her for a bit while you rest?”

“Like that’s going to help.”

“Laila senses her dad is stressed. Maybe that’s―”

“You don’t get it, do you, Dig?” Roy’s words exploded, but his shoulders sagged forward after the sentence. “You don’t know what it’s like.”

“Maybe not. But I did watch Oliver fall into the pit of despair after Annie’s death. Thea’s missing. Not dead. You can’t lose yourself. For Laila’s sake.”

Roy sniffed and whispered, “I feel like I’ve already lost myself.”

There were no more reassuring words that could be said; they’d been overused by now. Diggle sighed and gestured to Roy’s room that he used to share with his wife. “Go be with your daughter.”

His friend nodded and stood up, his fingers tapping against his thighs. “Maybe call Barry and see if he’s had any luck?”

 “Sure. Take as long as you need.” Diggle took his phone and went to the bedroom that he’d come accustomed to sleeping in. His wife sat on the bed. “Hey, honey.” He leaned in to give her a kiss before dropping down next to her. “Roy asked me to call Barry in hopes that he’d have some luck.”

“Poor thing. It’s been three months. He still thinks that Barry’s gonna be able to figure something out?”

“Love does that to a person. That and that little bit of hope in all of us that wonders if someone other than the Bratva took her and they’re just waiting to throw out a ransom note.”  

“There’s really not much we can do.” She rubbed circles along his back.

“Except find a way to contact Oliver and Felicity.”

“We don’t even know if they’re alive.”

“We have to assume they are.” He stood up and paced the room, avoiding the pictures of the families hanging on the walls. Some days it gave him hope, but right now, it just reminded him of everything they’d lost. Their homes. Friends. Families. Spouses. “It’s the Queens, and we’ve been over this a thousand times.”

“I know, and we’ll have to go over it another fifty if you don’t come to understand that we aren’t going to be able to find them.”

The door opened, and Roy stepped in. Laila cuddled against his body, still clutching the blanket. He kissed her hair and then looked at the Diggles. “Did you call Barry?” When Diggle shook his head, he sighed. “Yeah, I know. There’s not gonna be anything new, so why call?”

Lyla glanced at Diggle and shook her head. “Roy, I’m sorry. But there’s really nothing we can do.”

“So me and Laila are just supposed to go about our lives like nothing happened? I’m supposed to abandon her, even though I promised I’d never do that?” His voice rose higher and higher, which caused his daughter to start crying. “How am I supposed to live with myself?”

“We might still find her, Roy.” He could only hope that Lyla didn’t say what she thought about Thea’s disappearance. She was Argus; pain and death was her life. It had become his too, in the wake up the Hood leaving, opening the streets to men and women who thought they could do what they wanted. That’s when they realized that Starling needed more vigilantes, and because Barry had his own supervillains to deal with, it needed to be them. “We don’t know how the Bratva works. In fact, we know nothing about them. You never know. But,” he stood and clapped Roy on the shoulder. “I’m going to call Barry.”

“Johnny―”

“No, I think it’s time to find Oliver. They’re trying to draw him out. Twenty bucks he doesn’t know anything about this, and he’s the best way to find her.” Five minutes later, he clicked on Barry’s icon on the computers and set his feet on the desk. No one was far from their devices these days. It kept them all alive. In five seconds, Barry’s line turned on.

“Hey, Dig. How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Been worse. Been better. How’s Roy and Laila?”

“They’re holding up. Roy by not much. Which is what I’m calling about.”

“If you’re going to give me a lecture, it’s a lecture that I’ve been giving myself over and over.” Barry sighed. “Oliver gave me the task of keeping his family safe, and I failed. If he was around, he’d kill me.”

It didn’t seem like the time to agree with that statement. “I think Oliver would understand that it’s impossible to do things correctly all the time. Mistakes are often made, and sometimes it does result in tragedy. It’s something that happens, and we have to live with it.”

“But because of me Laila won’t have a mom.”

“She doesn’t have a mom right _now_. We could get her back. Which is what I was calling about.”

“You have a lead?”

“No. But I think it’s time we dig deeper and find Oliver and Felicity.”

“We’ve tried.”

“I know, but the Bratva wants to draw them back into the open. We can’t let that fully happen, but if we’re going to get Thea back, we need his help.”

“Okay. Do we have any idea where we can look first?”

“We’re gonna put Cisco on that.”

“And when we find them?”

“We’re gonna have to learn to forgive ourselves for uprooting their lives.”

                                                         *******

“If anyone even thinks about complaining about us freezing this year…”

Oliver laughed when William tossed the last piece of wood into the back of the barn. “Three trees down, two to go.” His son’s face fell, but Oliver clapped him on the back. “I’ll do the next bit, and Clayton can help instead. You got a good amount of it done, so thank you.” He glanced outside, catching Felicity’s motion for him. “I’ll talk to you in a bit.”

“Hey, are you and Mom good now?”

“Define ‘good’.”

“Am I still gonna have to hear you guys fight?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Will, marriage isn’t easy. There’s nothing in it that comes easy, actually. We’re always going to have our scuffles, and our fights, because when two people are paired together for life, there’s going to be conflict. We think different, we act different.” He shrugged, and smiled. “It’s life.”

“I guess so.” William dropped down to one of the wood piles and rubbed his hands against his jeans. “Sometimes…” he sighed. “I don’t really remember you and my mom, y’know? For all I knew, you guys were totally happy and never fought, so when you and Mom fight now, it freaks me out.”

“We fought. A lot.” Felicity could wait for a few more minutes. “We’ve never really discussed this, but I wasn’t a great husband. Or father. I had a lot of anger issues, and though I loved your mom with everything I could, I wasn’t the man she deserved. And with Felicity…I’m trying to be a better husband for her. But that will include some fights.”

“You never…we haven’t really talked about that before.” William stared down at the ground, his eyebrows furrowed. Finally, he lifted his head. “Before Mom died, I thought you were perfect. You became a lot less so afterwards, but even then I always thought that you were that perfect guy that all the ladies tried to go after.”

“They did go after me. But just because they thought I was gorgeous and because they didn’t know I was such a pain to deal with.”

“I can confirm both of those statements.”

Oliver released a laugh when he turned. Felicity peeked around the barn door, her eyes flirty. “Anything else you’d like to say?”

“Plenty. Most of it involves me saying that I’m glad that you shooed those women away, because I like you like this. Broody, and―”

“Oh, please don’t continue this with me in here.” They both laughed when William breezed by them. Oliver lifted Felicity’s arms around his neck and put his hands on her backside. “I got distracted, so you should probably explain to me what you needed me for?”

“This. Which I’m unfortunately kidding about. It’s actually about the conversation we had. About…stuff. Last night.”

“I remember.”

“I wanted to continue that discussion. But it’d be great if we did that inside where I can sit down. As lovely as this is,” she pulled her hands away and gestured to the stomach. “I’m still not feeling back to normal, so it’d―”

“Want me to carry you?”

“If you jostle me too much, I’ll puke again, and that would be disastrous. You only have like two shirts and I don’t feel like doing laundry today.”

“I have more than two shirts.”

“Well, two shirts that look extra hot on you. The others are…less sexy.” When they reached the porch, Felicity dropped to the swing. Oliver stayed standing, arms crossed.

“I thought we were going to discuss this in private.”

“Here is good.”

“Honey, are you okay?”

“Still a little tired. But I’m good.”

He gave her a once-over, running through the options of what she could have. After several seconds, he released a sigh and sat down next to her. “I talked to Ellie this morning. She gave me a slightly exaggerated story about how her life sucks and finished it with by saying that she agrees that we should go after the Bratva.”

“It hasn’t been easy on her. On any of them, in fact.”

“I know that, and if I thought any differently, I wouldn’t say anything because the kids don’t like it when we fight. I get it. This has all sucked, and if we want to change it, we’re going to need a plan. Or at least the start of one.” If they could even do that.

“Okay. We can brainstorm. Without fighting, because the kids could kick us out if we’re being too bothersome.”

 

After putting the kids to bed that night, Oliver dropped into bed next to Felicity and closed his eyes. His hand reached for hers as he scooted closer to her. His body needed twelve hours of sleep. Going for a five-mile run before cutting an entire tree for firewood wasn’t a great idea. Neither was spending hours trying to plan on how to take out the Bratva. He got his wife into his arms and then opened his eyes to look at her. “What if we fail?”

“What do you mean if we fail?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m going to ignore you.”

He drizzled kisses down her neck before whispering, “You have to be thinking it.”

“I am thinking it, but I don’t want to think about it. And I know it sounds the same, but it sounds different in my head. Either way, Oliver.” She pushed herself up on her elbows, her dripping down onto his face. “But we’re gonna do this. We made the decision, and we took a step in the direction of doing something that we’ve avoided even thinking about the past couple years. We’ve spent so much time preparing that we never thought that maybe we can attack and not defend.”

She swung her leg over him and leaned down to kiss him. He smiled through their kiss, his hand winding through her hair. When they pulled away, she put her hand on his cheek and smiled. “Remember who we are?”

“The hacker and the assassin?”

“Nope. Well, those are our code names. But we’re Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak. And together we’re Mr. and Mrs. Queen. So….we can do this.”

Oliver chuckled. “You just said that so you could call yourself Mrs. Queen.”

“I will never tire of saying that.”

                                                *******

She was coming to hate mornings.

Felicity moaned as she reached up to get the last article of clothing off the line. Because why have a washer and dryer? They could have bought a set, but decided to forgo it because of the risk of being discovered. They wouldn’t be, because everyone had a washer and dryer, but it wasn’t worth it. Which meant she had to be out in here at two in the afternoon, the sun beating down on her already burnt skin, putting clothes in baskets. Her stomach hurt, and she felt like sleeping for the next five years of her life. Which was almost a good idea, if she wasn’t the only person in the world who knew how to run a computer. Besides her dad, but he could be dead or living in the Artic for all she knew.

She lifted the basket of clothes onto her hip and started towards the house. Her stomach flip-flopped as she climbed the stairs to the designated ‘laundry room’ and began folding them. The nice thing about only having several things each was that she only did this a few times a week, and it had to be today when her stomach squeezed into knots every several seconds. “Get it together, honey. You have things to do today, and you can’t be sick.”

“Are you talking to yourself?” Clayton peeked into the room. “I can fold laundry if you want to take a break from that for a few minutes.” Instead of waiting for her to answer, he stepped in and bumped her out of the way. “I got this, Mom. Maybe you should, I don’t know, ask Daddy to get a hot bath going.”

“I’m fine. I’m fine, but I’m going to let you do this. Thanks, buddy.” She turned away from the folding just as her stomach did three flips off the high dive and landed in the water on its stomach. She put her hand over her mouth and ran to the nearest bathroom and emptied everything she’d eaten in the past few days. Which wasn’t much, but it still sent her sliding to the ground, sweat streaming down her face.

She sat on the floor for a few minutes, fighting the dizziness. One of the disadvantages of not drinking much water―being unable to, in fear of throwing up―for the past few days. Or eating. In fact, life had just sucked―

“Oh my God.” She covered her mouth to hide a scream that would have made people wonder if Donna Smoak arrived. No. It wasn’t possible. _Not possible, Felicity._ They hadn’t…“Dear God.” It all lined up, especially because she hadn’t had to send her husband to the store for anything lately.

This couldn’t be happening.

Why not a year ago?

Why now? When two days ago, they decided to go after the Bratva and take them down.

This could _not_ be happening.

She pushed herself up and stared into the mirror. Sweaty hair fell around her wet cheeks. What if she was correct? What if―

“ _Oliver_?” When he didn’t respond, she opened the door and ran to the first floor. No sign of her husband. Despite the cool weather and her overall freezing-ness that could be spurned on by what might be happening in her body at the moment, she didn’t grab a jacket, and instead ran full speed to the barn. “Oliver? _Oliver_!”

“What’s wrong?” He came around the corner, his chest heaving. He dropped the ax and rushed towards her. “Felicity, what’s happening?”

“It’s…nothing’s happening.”

“Then why do you look like you’re about to faint?”

“It’s just…” _Get a grip!_ Oliver looked ready to pass out too, thanks to her inability to get words out. Well, she could get words out, but not _those_ words. If she said them, it would become real. Their lives would be changed. Forever. “I think we better hold off on going after the Bratva. Either that or get it done in the next month. Because after that…oooh, boy! We wouldn’t want to do anything after that in fear of you or I having a heart attack. Whoever is the more likely for that to happen.”

He peeked outside and then aimed a glare at her. “Are you drunk?”

“No! I couldn’t possibly be drunk.” Oooh, this wasn’t going well. “Not when―”

“ _Felicity_!” He let go of her and stood up, his hands on his head. “Honey, you are not making any sense, and if you want me to help you, you need to take a deep breath and explain yourself.”

She took two deep breaths, and then raised her gaze to her husband’s face so she could gauge his reaction. “I’m late. And by late, I mean not that kind of late. I’m like late _late_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed it!!! Next comes a very fun, sweet, emotional chapter that may involve a pregnancy test. Or two. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Late. He’d heard that one before. Seven times, actually. Each time ended with a positive pregnancy test. Which meant…Oliver took a deep breath to steady himself and squatted down so he could look into his wife’s eyes. He felt a smile twitch on his lips. “Your period is late?”

“Yeah. I didn’t even think of it because the goat ate the calendar a month ago and I wasn’t paying attention, but I’ve been really tired in the mornings, and I threw up a few minutes ago and it makes total sense, especially considering that a couple weeks ago―”

“I know.” He took her hands and squeezed. “Why were you in such a panic?”

“Because I’ve never done this before. You have, but this is my first time, and there is quite possibly a human growing inside of me, and what if I haven’t been eating enough for both of us? What if there’s two in there? Oliver, I might’ve already killed the baby!”

“Hey, hey.” He caught a tear on his finger and then placed his hands on her cheeks. “Felicity, this is normal. Nobody knows from day one whether they’re pregnant, and your body is designed for that. If there’s a baby in there, it’s just fine. I promise.” He smiled. “I’ll go get a couple pregnancy tests from the store. I’m sure they―”

“No!”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“Because if you buy a pregnancy test, everyone will know and oh my _God_ that would be terrible. There’s like ten people in this town! They’ll all know that we had too much fun one night and made a baby!”

Yes, she was pregnant. At least the rise in emotions and overreacting said so. Oliver chuckled. “Felicity. How do you think babies are made? Everyone knows how that works.”

“Still.” Her lip quivered.

“Okay.” He looked up at the ceiling to buy himself some time to think. “How about I go to Martha’s house and see if she has any?”

“They’re on vacation. Plus, she’s almost eighty. Unless we’re back in Bible times, she hasn’t had a period in thirty years.”

“This is an emergency, and plus, people have stuff like that around the house.” He helped her to a standing position. “I want you to go inside and lay down. Try not to panic and drink some water.” He kissed her forehead and moved to go outside for the car, but stopped when Felicity called his name. “Yeah?”

“This is really sucky timing. Just when we decided that―”

“It’s a baby, Felicity.” He blinked back tears as his brain flashed back to memories of holding his children for the first time. “I couldn’t care less if it happened now.” He left her in the barn and ran to the car. Their only neighbors in a twenty-mile radius were an elderly couple with a TV, which meant they knew who the Queens were. The couple had ten kids, and they were all married now. There had to be a pregnancy test laying around the house, right?

He grinned. His prayer had been answered. In several months, baby number seven would come into this world. And his first baby with Felicity. She looked so terrified a few moments ago. Like everything was falling apart around them. In truth, it kind of was, but he could accept this kind of falling apart. They were expecting a baby.

Oliver used the spare key he’d been given to get into the house. He headed up to the bathroom and scrounged around in the cupboard but found none. Which meant he would have to go rob the general store because Felicity didn’t want anyone to find out.

Which he didn’t want to do. Oliver let out a sigh and squatted down to search through the bottom drawer of weird things that old people stored in there. Finally, at the bottom, he found a box with one pregnancy test. He pocketed it and drove back to the house at top speed. The smile didn’t fall off his face. How could it? Every few seconds, he could see their baby, swaddled in likely pink blankets, being loved by her brothers and sisters. After all this time, Annie would get her wish.

He parked and ran up to their bedroom. His wife lay on the bed with her eyes closed. “Hey, sweetie.”

Her hand flew out towards the end stand as she sat up. “Oh! Wow, you were fast. Did you find one?”

“I did, actually.” He waved the test in the air. “You can use it whenever you’d like.”

“’Kay.” She slid off the bed and took the stick from his hand. “Do you have any tips?”

“Not from the zero times I’ve ever used one of those.”

She sent him a glare as she walked to the bathroom. “You know what I mean.”

“Just get as much pee on the stick as you can. That’s the only tip I’ve got.” He followed her into the bathroom and leaned against the counter. Before anything happened, he raised his hand. “Hey, hold on a second.” She looked up at him in exasperation.

“Oliver, I’m literally sitting on the toilet ready to pee on a stick.”

“I know, but just wait.” He squatted down next to her and looked up, a smile on his face. Her lip quivered but she returned the smile. “Whatever happens, whether this test is negative or positive, it won’t change how I feel about you. Nothing ever will, I promise. And we’ll deal with anything that comes against us. Because I have you, and you have me.”

She nodded. “One question.”

“Hmm?”

“Can you clarify how you feel about me?”

He stood up halfway and claimed her lips. When he pulled away, he winked. “There’s the only answer you will ever need.”

“Great, now get out of here so I can concentrate.” She pointed to the door. “Go do dishes or something.”

He chuckled, but said, “Okay,” and went downstairs. They did seem to have an infinite number of dishes to wash. Usually the three older girls split the work, with the boys throwing in their handy work every now and then. But today was Saturday. The day that they’d agreed that their parents would take care of all the food and the dishes that came after that.

He set a pot of water on the stove and started rinsing the dishes with cold water. In a few minutes, he could use the heated water to fully clean everything. He looked out the window and watched Piper and Annie groom their horses. Harper came out of the barn with two saddle blankets and helped the little girls get them on. William sprayed the girls with a hose.

Life had changed so much. All for the better. Sometimes he needed a moment like this to be in awe of how far they’d come. How far _he’d_ come. Sure, the nightmares came. There were bad days when all he could think about was the verdict. Sometimes, he would hear a noise and everything would freeze into a spasm of panic. But each day he took a step forward. Some days were tiny shuffles and others were giant leaps, but each movement counted.

He could still picture the day it changed. Felicity’s words still echoed through his head sometimes. _Life is precious._ Those three words got him through the rough days and nights.

And the other three little words that they whispered to each other every night.

“Oliver?”

He spun around and took three long strides to his wife, who trembled against his touch. “Honey, what’s wrong?” He glanced down at the test. One line. His stomach dropped, and a little, “Oh,” slipped out. He turned his head to check on where the kids would be in five minutes, and then pulled her into a hug. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

“I’m not pregnant.” She cried against his chest. “I was so positive, Oliver. I thought we were gonna have a baby. Thought I was gonna be able to―”

“It’s okay, Felicity.” He held her tightly against him to allow himself a moment to be mourn, but his sadness didn’t need to be dealt with right now. It was his wife sobbing against him that caused his heart to crack in half. Oliver pried the test from her fingers and set it on the counter. “C’mon, honey.” He walked them to one of the bedrooms and sank down onto the bed. “Remember what I said a few minutes ago? It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does.” She didn’t move from his arms, but the strength that he always felt from her was gone. “We both want a baby, and so far we’ve been unsuccessful. Maybe I can’t have kids. You obviously can, so why haven’t we been able to have a baby?”

“Sometimes it happens. There’s a lot of factors, and something just might not be right yet. There’s a plan, honey.” He let his fingers trickle down her back as he let his thoughts wander. Felicity’s crying quieted, but she kept her face against his chest. He wished there was something else he could tell her. Encouragement. But what could he do? Or say?

“Something’s not right with _me_.”

He shook his head and looked out at the kitchen where the test sat. An idea slowly took form. This didn’t seem right. If he counted back, he could get a conception date. Felicity had been throwing up the past few mornings, but felt fine in the afternoons. And she’d missed her period. _Stupid goat._ “I think we need to try again.”

“That’s a great idea, but so far it hasn’t worked, so…you are talking about that, correct?”

“We have no idea how old that test is.” He left her on the bed and grabbed the stick. “It could literally be thirty years old for all we know. That can sometimes affect a reading.” She just stared at him blankly. “Felicity, there’s a ninety-nine percent chance you’re pregnant.” Her eyes brightened a bit. “I’ve done this before, and I know signs better than most people. And I can’t find any reason why you aren’t. Which means I’m going to get a real test.”

“But people are gonna find out.”

“So what?”

“What if the Bratva goes through security footage and sees what you bought? What if they see that you bought a pregnancy test and then they’ll know.”

Even with her overreact-ness, she brought up a good point. It would take him thirty seconds to get in and out with a box of tests. Oliver sighed and shrugged. “Fine. You win. Drink some water, and try to stay calm. I’ll be back in forty-five minutes.” He didn’t leave until she smiled up at him. They would be okay either way, but he couldn’t just sit here and wonder what went wrong. She was pregnant.

He knew it.

                                                            ******

It honestly freaked her out a lot.  How her husband so nonchalantly waltzed into the back of a store and grabbed a box of pregnancy tests. At least he left five dollars for it. That wasn’t stealing then, correct? Felicity watched him do it on her tablet, but as soon as he exited the store, she set it on the nightstand and fell back into bed. Her stomach constricted and threatened to empty again. This time, she fought it. A few more minutes laying here and her heart would return to normal. Maybe.

Regardless of the outcome of today, her heart would always be different. If the next test came back negative again, it would give her clear evidence that something was wrong with her. Maybe she couldn’t have a baby. But if it came back positive, it would mean that in eight months or so, she would hold her first child in her arms. A baby she made with her husband.

Oliver.

The best thing that had ever happened to her.

Half an hour later, he appeared in the doorway, holding a box. And smiling. “Got you a present.”

“A box of tests?”

“That too. But there’s ice cream down in the freezer.”

“Let’s not even call it a freezer.”

“It keeps things cold. For the most part. Would you like to try?”

“I have to pee, so yes.” She took the box from him and started to the bathroom. Before entering, she looked back and beckoned for him. “I don’t want to do this alone, and since I know I don’t have to, can you come in here with me?”

A minutes later, she set the stick upside down on the counter and sat down on the chair. Oliver leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. He looked so calm. The exact opposite of her. And she needed to kill a few minutes before the results came. “How did you and Annie find out that you were expecting Ellie?”

“Me and Annie?” He let out a laugh. “We went through an entire box of tests over the course of two days before we decided that they were all correct and we were gonna be parents. That was a day I was almost thankful my parents were gone. Because that news might have killed them.”

“Just imagine telling my mother.” Felicity’s eyes widened at just the thought. “That would be the pinnacle moment of her life, I’m sure.” If she was still alive. But that couldn’t be on her mind right now. “How many minutes has it been?”

“One.”

“ _One_?”

An eyebrow raised. “Felicity, how many times did you look at the test the last time?”

“Ten.”

“I won’t judge if you look now.”

“If you judge me for this, I can only imagine what else I’ve been judged for.” She flashed him a smile as she lifted the test. “Obviously, there’s nothing. But I feel better looking. And how on earth have you done this so many times and not had a heart attack?”

“Sometimes…” Oliver shrugged, but then he chuckled. “Sometimes you just know. Childbirth is a whole different story, but this…this I can do.”

“I can’t do this. What if I am pregnant? Oliver, I can’t…” she tried to take a deep breath, but her breathing hitched. “I can’t breathe.” She pressed a hand against her chest as her breath double-timed. Her other hand reached towards her husband, who got to her side in Flash speed. “Oliver…help. Help me.”

He pulled her down to the floor and weaved his fingers through her hair, something he did almost every night. Most of the times she could barely remember him doing it; she was about asleep, or just on the verge of waking up from a nightmare. But with that touch she knew Oliver was next to her, and nothing seemed as scary anymore. How could it? Now, with his body pressed to hers, and his hands against her face with his fingers intertwined through her hair, she took a deep breath that resulted in a cough. Her hyperventilating slowed down.

Oliver loosened his grip on her, and while she kept her head against his chest, she could hear and feel him rummaging around on the counter. He could look first. She didn’t want to know. Either answer would bring panic. It would rip at her, causing her to fall into a darkness she’d never known before. There would be happiness, but what about all the things that they had to do? That she would have to do?

“Hey, Felicity,” Oliver’s whiskers tickled her ear. “Open your eyes.”

Part of her wanted to drag this out and avoid the truth, but the other part of her hated mysteries. Felicity did as she was asked and stared at the test. Two lines. Which meant…“Oh my God.” She opened her mouth to say something, but a cry slipped out instead. “Oh my God! We’re…” she couldn’t say anything else.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” Oliver choked, and then coughed. Felicity looked up at him. He was crying. Nothing could suppress her tears. There wasn’t any panic. She’d always imagined how she would feel at this moment. Ever since she was a little girl and put together the truth about babies. Five seconds ago, she knew panic would be the reigning champion, but it wasn’t.

Peace swarmed her, buzzing its promise of hope and a future. Happiness rushed at her, enveloping her in its arms. Oliver’s arms.

A baby had started growing inside her.

A baby who would be loved by so many people.

Oliver stood up and brought her with him. She still clutched the test, but it wasn’t what she looked at. She couldn’t stop staring up at her husband’s face. His smile. No one could take this away from them. She dropped her head on his chest and whispered, “We’re having a baby. Like an actual baby.”

“Yup, an actual baby.”

“I can’t believe it. I have a human being inside me. Which is slightly alarming. What if―”

“You can’t worry about that. Not right now. As I said before, it’s a natural thing, and your body knows how to do things.”

She let go of his hands to splay her fingers against her stomach. “There’s a baby in there.”

His eyes went soft as they filled with tears. “Yeah, there is.” The whisper made her cry again, and she scrubbed her face. “We’re gonna have to pull ourselves together or the kids are going to put something together right away. Or maybe we do want them to know?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t. Give ourselves a little bit to get a game plan and then we can tell them.”

“To game plan?”

“We were about to go after the Bratva.”

“I’m about four weeks. At most, and this will be my first baby, which means that I won’t be showing for quite a while. We can go after the Bratva, but we’ll have to get it over quickly.” She pursed her lips when he frowned. “Oh, no. Are you one of those kind of husbands? Who is over protective and bothersome?”

He copied her facial expression, which made her giggle, despite the underlying feeling of worry about the behavior he would be showing in the next several months. “No.”

“If I ask Ellie, will she give me an entirely different answer?”

“Thankfully she won’t remember anything.”

Felicity looked down at the test again. Two pink lines never looked so pretty. So perfect. Just like their baby. She let out a huff of laughter. “Our baby. Can you believe it?”

“Uh huh.”

“Yeah, right.”

“No, I can. Because there’s an age old saying that says that if a couple loves each other so much, it’s not surprising when there’s a baby.”

“That is _not_ an age old saying.”

“I’m sure someone’s said it.”

“Uh, guys?” Harper knocked on the door. “Sorry to disturb you, but the cows got out again.”

“Oh, great. We’ll be out in a second!” Oliver drew Felicity next to his body and kissed her. She looped her arms around his back and smiled. She pulled away first and raised the test in the air. He chuckled and kissed her one more time. “We don’t want them to get any ideas, so put that thing away. I gotta go get the stupid cows.”

She put the test in the cabinet and opened the door. “We were talking, so sorry if we missed anything. How’d the cows get out?”

“When Annie and Piper went out riding they left the gates open.”

“Oh, come on.” Oliver pulled on his muddy boots that he would be getting in trouble for having upstairs later. “How many times is that? I’ll be back in a bit.” He grabbed his jacket and stomped out of the room, but before he went downstairs, he turned and winked. Felicity smiled, but then sighed at the muddy trail he’d left. She went for the broom. Though he couldn’t milk a cow in under ten minutes to save his life, Oliver had adjusted well to the ‘it’s a farmhouse; why keep it clean?’ philosophy. She didn’t care what the downstairs looked like, but the bedrooms needed to be perfect.

More perfect because eventually there would be a baby up here with them.

She finished cleaning up the mud before taking a seat on their bed. Her imagination came to life, placing the stack of diapers on the dresser, and the baby pictures along with their one family photo that they’d taken from the mansion. Maybe Oliver would be okay with them printing out a few of their new child. He or she could sleep between them. That’s what parents did, right? Or did they have baby in a bassinet? Either way, _their_ baby was sleeping between them. That way she and Oliver could always protect him. Or her.

It didn’t matter.

She was going to have a baby.

                                                            *******

“Y’know, usually when the cows get out, you are in a ridiculously growly mood.” William looked down from his perch on the horse and grinned. “Today you almost seem to enjoy it. Which is great for me. And the cows.”

He would enjoy anything right now. Just the mention of happiness brought a grin to his face. Oliver tried to hide it and glanced up at his son. “They’re not being so bad right now. Plus, this is one of the first time’s they haven’t escaped at the least convenient time. So yeah, I’m in a good mood.”

“You are literally _smiling_. What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“C’mon, Dad. Your lying capabilities have decreased a lot lately.”

“It’s not something I can tell you.” But boy did he want to. Oliver looked up at the sky to distract himself and followed the line of the storm clouds gathering. Great. Just what they needed. More rain. But it couldn’t take the smile off his face. “I’m not intending to change the subject, but we should make sure everything’s inside. Including the rest of the animals.”

“Which you want me to do.”

Oliver raised his eyebrows. “Is it something you find surprising?”

“You are too good.” William rolled his eyes. “But since I have the horse and you’re gonna have to walk the rest of the way, I’ll go get everything in. Have fun talking to the cows.” He tipped his cowboy hat and rode off towards pasture that housed the goats. Maybe it would be best if they died. Oliver whacked the rear-end of a cow that had stopped. “Let’s go, guys. I don’t have all day.”

He glanced back to watch William disappear over a hill. They would be thrilled to hear the news, but they couldn’t tell them yet. What if something happened? It would devastate the kids, and they’d all just reached a good point where there weren’t tears every few days about their lives.

This baby would make it, though. They’d had too many miracles for him or her to _not_.

By the time he got the cows into the barn, the wind had picked up. Annie and Piper came riding into the yard and led their horses to the water tank. Oliver took a deep breath and strode over. They looked up at him, smiling. They knew what they’d done. Only guilty little girls smiled like that. He crossed his arms. “Hey, what are the two rules that we decided on when you two go riding?”

“Be back before the sun gets over there!” Piper pointed to the line of sunset.

“Oh, and wear helmets.”

“That one is technically an unspoken rule. Which leads us to the matter of whether or not you are supposed to leave the gate open.”

Annie puckered her lips and looked down at the ground to mumble, “Sorry.”

“Yeah, sorry, Daddy.”

“It’s okay, but this is the fourth or fifth time it’s happened in a few months, and we’re all getting tired of bringing the cows back. There’s two of you, which means that there’s two of these.” He tapped their foreheads. “So if you want to continue going riding without restrictions, use those brains of yours. Or school will start early.”

“ _What_?” Piper yelled so loud that her horse started. She crossed her arms. “You can’t do that.”

“Yes, I can.”

“But we’re not starting until September. You can’t make us start school early.”

“If that’s the best way to learn a lesson, then I can. I’m sure your mom would gladly spend some time doing math.”

Annie stuck out her lower lip. “Sometimes we forget. It happens.”

“I know, and I’m okay with it happening, but at some point those cows are going to disappear and I’ve bought enough animals.” Time to be done arguing this. Oliver turned towards the house and called behind him, “Get the horses cleaned up and then it’ll be time for dinner!” He ran up the steps and met Felicity on the porch. “How’re you doing?”

“Well, like morning sickness that they talk about in books, it only happens in the morning, because I feel fine. And take your boots off right here. Or you’re cleaning up the mud that you track all over.”

“Everyone else gets mud in―okay.”

“That’s the best way to respond.” She flashed him a sweet smile and entered the house. Oliver chuckled and shed his boots, along with his dirty jacket. When he stepped into the kitchen, he stopped at the doorway and watched. His girls moved about the room, setting the table and finishing up dinner. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Ellie spotted him and smiled.

“Cows are in?”

“Uh huh. William’s getting the goats.”

“We should just let them die.”

“True, but every now and then my newly restored humanity makes me feel bad, so they can live another night. What’s for dinner?”

“Spaghetti and meatballs. Probably made from the goat that Mama killed.”

Oliver glanced at his wife as he took a seat at the table. “Huh?”

Harper set the pan of meatballs on the table. “She yelled at him in two different languages, and then threw a spoon at his butt.”

“That happened while I was gone?” Didn’t Felicity say that she felt fine? Maybe not. Or maybe he should do his best to not annoy her for the next several months. “And since when do you know different languages?”

“I don’t. But I’ve learned enough from you talking in your sleep.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry about. Mostly because it’s entertaining.” Felicity winked at him as she sat down. “Where’re the little girls?”

“Here!” Piper burst into the house, followed by Annie. “Willie’s on his way. It’s looking really stormy out. And sorry, Daddy, about letting the cows out. We didn’t mean to, and we’re gonna do our best to not do it again.”

What he really wanted to know was how much of that apology came from the threat of starting school early. When William got in, ranting about the goats and their ‘Annie-like tendencies’, they started eating. Soon after, thunder boomed. The littlest Queen scooted closer to Oliver, but when she reached for his hand, he pulled her onto his lap. “Don’t worry, honey. It’s just a thunder storm.”

“I don’t want to go down to the basement again.”

“If we have to go down tonight, we’ll be able to keep the lights on.” A pang of guilt hit him when Annie didn’t look convinced. They’d been down there a lot, and not often for storms. The middle of the night scares had traumatized all of them, especially his littlest. Who wouldn’t be his baby anymore. He smiled. Of all the kids, Annie would be the most excited about the news.

“Daddy, why are you staring off into the distance?”

“Well, it can’t be anything bad cuz he’s smiling. Leave him alone.” William whacked Piper’s arm, which sent her fork to her lap. “Oopsies.”

“Now I got spaghetti sauce all over my riding pants!”

“Sorry?”

Piper huffed and scooped a meatball and some sauce off her lap. Her eyes flitted from the plate to William. Oliver caught the movement first and let out a warning, “Don’t do it.” But she did anyways, and hurled the red stuff at William’s chest. _Here we go._

“Mom just washed this shirt!”

“Yeah, well, my dress was just washed too.”

Clayton raised his hand. “Just so everyone knows, I folded everything.”

Thunder rocked the house.

Annie screamed.

Oliver sighed, and looked across the table at his wife, who pursed her lips. This happened sometimes. The longer they lived here without anyone around, the more aggressive the kids became. There wasn’t anything that they could do to stop it, but tonight did not have to be the night where he had to break up a fist-fight between Harper and anyone else. She would eventually get in on the arguing, and there went a relaxing evening. Oliver clapped his hands against the table, which shut everyone up. “Okay, guys. The fighting needs to not happen tonight. So that’s enough.”

“Sorry.” Piper reached across the table and shook William’s hand. “But let’s agree I would have won that fight.”

“Probably so, but―” he stopped when Oliver glared at him. “Yeah, you would’ve won.”

As thunder exploded in the distance again, Felicity stood up and went for her tablet. He bit back a snarky question about how often she used that without telling him as she checked the weather.

“I think we’d better head downstairs for a while. Just because.” She tucked her tablet underneath her arm. “But instead of what happened a few days ago, we can bring some games down and some treats. Leave the dishes.”

Ellie grabbed a few board games and led the kids into the basement. Oliver reached for his weapon, but Felicity glared at him. “But―”

“No one is going to attack us.”

“The Bratva attack when people are weak, and there’s―”

“Oliver.” She pushed the bow back to its position on the wall and took his hand. “This is your wife saying that it’s okay to relax for a little bit. We should be celebrating right now, because we’re having a baby.” That word brought another smile to his face. “So let’s go downstairs and have a game night and not worry about anything, because there is truly nothing to worry about. Not right now.”

Clayton appeared in the doorway. “Are you guys gonna kiss all night or be spared from the tornado that is going to try to kill us all?” The last half of the sentence was almost yelled, for the benefit of Annie, who let out a howl of terror. Oliver sighed and let go of Felicity. “Buddy, you have _got_ to stop scaring your sisters.”

“It’s hilarious.”

From the basement, Annie screamed, “No, it’s not!”

“She’ll get you back for it, you know that, right?” Oliver tossed his son a teasing look. Clayton shrugged. “You’re gonna regret it at some point. She’s got a revengeful spirit.” He shut the bullet-proof, steel door and locked it. He wanted his bow down here, but if he wanted to keep his pregnant wife happy, he needed to listen to her wisdom. “Alright, guys. What game do you want to play?”

They decided on Monopoly, and they played that until the lights went out. Oliver pulled Annie onto his lap and cuddled her until she stopped crying. When she started hiccupping, he whispered near her ear, “I have a surprise for you.” She stilled against his chest, which caused him to chuckle. “But I can’t really tell you if you’re crying.” He didn’t intend to tell anyone about their news, but for now, the idea of a surprise could get Annie through the storm. She didn’t like the dark, and any moment when this happened, it made him want to snap everyone’s neck who ever stepped foot into the Bratva cooperation.

“I have an idea.” Felicity clapped her hands. “Let’s play the game of our favorite things.”

“Mine is my horse!” Piper yelled, but then muttered, “even if it gets me in trouble all the time.”

“Ha! Maybe it’s because her rider is ridiculous.” William laughed. “Mine is this family.”

Harper scoffed. “That is pathetic. Is there anything less sappy than that?”

“It’s true. I’m happy.”

“Well, can anyone top that?” Ellie whacked William’s arm. At least he assumed so, because his son shrieked. “I guess my favorite things are―”

“Oh, no, there’s a list.”

“When there’s a rainbow after it rains―”

“Oh, _no_.”

“When Daddy cooks, and when Mama _doesn’t_ cook.”

Everyone laughed at that, even Annie. Felicity let out a scoff.

“That’s not fair. But true. Oliver’s next.”

“Uh…William kind of stole my line.”

Annie whacked his arm. “Then you gotta come up with something else!”

He chuckled and looked up at the ceiling. “Well…my favorite things are my wife, and you kids, and…” _don’t say it._ “I think my favorite thing is after dinner when we can all go out to the porch and talk about random things. Those will be some of my favorite memories. Beat that one, dear.”

“My favorite thing is what’s happening right now. Oooh, frack.”

Oliver closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the wall with a low moan. They weren’t getting out of this one.

“What’s happening right now?” Annie asked the first question. “You don’t mean the storm, right? Cuz that’s just wrong.”

“Well, the storm isn’t necessarily my favorite thing. I love storms, but they wouldn’t be on my top ten favorite things in life. Not even top thirty.”

“Then what’s happening right now?” The inquiry came from Ellie, which was followed by questions from Harper and William. Oliver set Annie on the ground and scooted the few feet to his wife. She grabbed his arm. “Oliver, I didn’t even think!” Her whispering would end up giving her away. “I can’t believe that I just completely―”

“Tell them.”

“What?”

“Daddy, I’m ready for you to hold me again!”

“Hold on a minute, Annie. Tell them, Felicity.” He squeezed her hand. “It’s a good time to tell them.”

“Okay.” She cleared her throat. “Your dad and I have something we’d like to talk to you about. And no, it’s not what you think it is.” When they all shouted variations of ‘what’, she laughed. “Sorry. We are, uh, going to have a baby.” And just like that, the lights went back on, illuminating everyone’s reactions.

Ellie burst into tears, but she didn’t get to them first. Annie did, making a nose dive over Oliver to her mom. She splayed her fingers on Felicity’s stomach and leaned in closer. “There’s a baby in there?”

With tears streaming down her face, Felicity nodded. “Yeah, there is.”

“So that means…” her eyes lit up. “That means I get to be a big sister!” She turned around to look at the other kids and squealed. “I get to be a big sister!”

Oliver caught Piper in his arms, but he focused on his oldest daughter, who hadn’t moved from her position against the wall, face on her knees. Her shoulders shook, but she was the only one who hadn’t come to give hugs. “Elizabeth, are you―”

She lifted her head and wiped her eyes. “I’m just so happy. I’ve…I’ve been praying for another little sibling for longer than anyone knows, and now I finally get one.”

Clayton squeezed in-between his parents and looked down at Felicity’s stomach. “I call dibs on him sleeping in my room.”

Harper scoffed. “Who says it’s gonna be a boy?”

“I don’t care.” Piper cuddled up against Felicity. “It’s a baby. I’d be happy with either.”

“Or twins!” William winced when Felicity groaned. “Unless that would be too much.”

Oliver chuckled and squeezed his wife’s hand. “I don’t think there’s a history of twins on either sides of our family, so I doubt it. But Piper’s right. It doesn’t really matter, and if we have twins, then we’ll deal with that when it comes.”

“But it’s probably going to be one.”

Eight kids…that would be scary. He’d have to buy a twelve-passenger van. If they ever made it back to the states. And Felicity was right…they couldn’t go after the Bratva now. It wasn’t safe, and who knows what kind of pregnancy she would have. They would postpone it, and in a couple years, take down the organization. They could survive another couple years here, right?

But what if Felicity wanted a water birth?

Or a hospital birth? The closest hospital was four hours away. By the time they got there, the baby could be born.

“Oliver, honey?” Felicity’s hand ran along his back. “For a happy moment, you look really stressed.”

“I’m not. Just thinking about things.” He leaned over Clayton to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’m gonna go check out the storm. It’s probably close to being over.” She shot him a look that said they would talk about this later, but he stood up and headed upstairs. Lightning still sparkled in the distance, but even Annie could handle this. “All clear, guys!” Piper came up first, and joined him at the door.

“It’s really pretty out there.” Her arm looped around his waist and she leaned against him. “We’re really having a baby?”

He looked down at her, and returned the smile. “We are.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“I can’t really believe it either.”

 

Oliver slid underneath the covers and scooted closer to his wife. “Jeez, it’s getting cold at night.” When she rolled her eyes, he chuckled. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I try not to, but…honey…” her fingers trailed down his bicep. “You are not the man who gets to complain about it being cold in the room. You slept on the barn floor for three weeks with one blanket. You’ll live.”

“But that was two years ago.”

“And?”

“Whatever.” He curled her body closer to his, aware of how her stomach pressed against his side. It would take a while for her to show, and though he looked forward to those days, he wanted to treasure these times when there wasn’t a big belly keeping them from cuddling. In eight months, there would be a baby between them. “I guess our plan to not tell the kids didn’t work so well.”

“Is that a dig at me?”

“I’m glad we told them.”

“I’m still in shock, I think.”

What would happen in the next eight months? Would it peaceful bliss, or would it be a reenactment of the five years where he hid in a hole? The Bratva would come; it was just a matter of when. What if they came when her belly made it difficult for her to run to the basement? During labor? His hand rubbing her back slowed as his brain went to places it shouldn’t. “Me either.”

Felicity sat up on her elbows and looked down at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Oliver.” She flipped the light back on and sat up all the way. “What. Is. Wrong?”

“I don’t want to dampen the mood.”

“Like it or not, you’re dampening the mood by being distant.” Her eyebrows crinkled together as her fingers traced his face. “Honey, you’re worried about something. Is it the baby? We aren’t going to lose her. Or him.”

“It’s not that. It’s just…” he scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m worried about a lot of things. I’m thrilled about the baby, but now we have to put our plans to take down the Bratva on hold. And what if they attack? And what about having the baby? We can do it here, or we can drive four hours to a hospital, and by then―why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s just that…I’m usually the person who does all the worrying, and you’re the one who stoically reminds me not to worry.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Oh, I’m not going to.” Her eyes went wide as she continued to run her hands through his unwashed hair. “Because I’m scared to death, and I’m asking myself the same questions. _But_. We’re in this together. Rain or shine, darkness or light. Even if there’s no umbrella to hold over me when it _does_ rain. You and I make an epic team, and we’ve got a lot of members that are willing to tag along to help us. So we’re gonna do this. Okay?”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the very fluffy chapter that is a pre-apology for the hell that the Queens will be going through soon. But, hey, she's pregnant...it's all gonna be okay!   
> Comments, kudos, etc. are always appreciated!!! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is a month late. Yes, I'm not entirely happy with how it turned out. But honestly...at this point...I have 15 chapters written, and this one just needed a rewrite and it ended up taking a very, very long time! Which was frustrating. By this time, I just wrote the chapter and hopefully it's okay enough for everybody. Thank you for all your patience and I'm hoping that I can regularly post chapters again!!! :)

When the door closed and Oliver’s footsteps were heard down the hall, Felicity splayed her fingers across her stomach that still looked relatively flat. _Good morning, baby_. Every day, Oliver claimed it grew, but if anything, she’d lost weight from all of the throwing up she’d done, which, as of today, hadn’t gotten any better. But she loved this time in the morning, all by herself, before her stomach went all crazy on her.

“Mommy?”

Or not. Felicity smiled and stretched her arms above her head. “Come on in, sweetie.”

The door flew open and Annie ran in, leaping onto the bed with so much force it rattled. “Mama, William said that my hair is ugly and that it’s going to fall out!”

It had become a regular occurrence that Annie would get upset about something that her brothers said. And the boys, fueled by their sister’s screaming, taunted her more. Felicity sighed and cuddled Annie close. “Honey, your hair is just perfect and I don’t think it’s going to fall out. It’s very gorgeous. Like we’ve said before, you have to ignore the boys. They’re just trying to mess with you.”

“They’re very convincing.”

“I know, but you just have to ignore them. Okay?”

“Where’s Daddy?”

“On his run.”

Annie fingered the blanket’s fringes. “When do you think I can go running with him?”

“I bet you could go whenever you want. Your daddy would like that.” She knew why he liked to run. It shut up all the voices for a while, because he worked too hard for anything or anyone to say things to him. He’d told her before that when someone came along with him, he didn’t have to work as hard, because that person next to him shut the demons up on their own. It was one reason she felt guilty about not being able to run with him in the mornings anymore. Not that she actually ‘ran’. She forced him to slow down and walk while she struggled to keep up with him. Ellie and William did much better out there.

“Hey, Mama?”

“Yes?”

“Can the baby hear us yet?”

“Not yet. But the baby’s body is developing now. It has a heartbeat.”

“But she’s still little.”

She wasn’t gonna get into the debate about whether or not the baby was a boy or a girl, besides the nightly mini-arguments with Oliver. Felicity smiled. “She’s very little.” There was no one around to start a fight about the gender, so she’d call her her ‘baby girl’. “Did you sleep well last night?”

“I got cold, so I slept with Ellie. Oh, and I didn’t have a nightmare. Just a scary dream.”

Even scarier that they could now generalize between ‘nightmare’ and ‘scary dream’. “That’s good. Kind of. What was the dream about?”

“You and Daddy died. But you didn’t get shot to death. Just thrown off a cliff.”

Felicity winced. If Oliver heard this conversation…“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I was sleeping with Ellie so I cuddled up with her. But then she left so I went into William’s room and he told me my hair was ugly so I came in here screaming which I’m really sorry for.”

What a dramatic household. “Did Ellie go running with Oliver?”

“Uh huh. Her and Harper.”

So everyone was going to be in shape but her. She was in throwing-up shape at least. _Speaking of throwing up…_ “Hey, honey? Mama needs to go to the bathroom, so why don’t you get everyone up and start chores? Have Piper make some breakfast if anyone’s hungry.” _Oh, God_. Her stomach was emptying sooner than she thought. “Just get out of here!” She tossed back the covers and sprinted to the bathroom, just making it to the toilet before she hurled last night’s dinner.

“Mama, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Annie.” She wiped the spit off her face with her shirt sleeve. _Oliver’s_ shirt sleeve. “Just go do chores. This’ll pass in a while.” After she hurled up everything she’d eaten in the past twenty-four hours and then dry-heaved at last three times. And then laid on the ground and moaned for at least half an hour. When the door shut, Felicity pulled herself up and threw up again.

The joys of being pregnant. Everything else, she loved, but the morning made her miserable. _Just let it end please._. She’d gotten herself into a tiny ball when her stomach revolted again, and this time, she didn’t make it to the toilet in time. The puke ended up on the floor, which had happened before, but today it made her cry. A lot. So much she threw up again.

Strong hands—her husband’s hands—lifted her off the ground and into his arms. Felicity mumbled, “I’m covered in puke.”

“That’s okay. It’s not that bad. Do you have to throw up again?”

“No. But it comes up fast.” She’d been dealing with this for three weeks; she should be used to it by now. But nothing could prepare her for the tired feeling that surrounded everything in her. All she could do was rest her head on Oliver’s muscular, way-too-perfect chest and cry. “I-I’m okay. I’m o-okay. In a little bit.”

“Maybe so, but for now,” he took a seat on the floor and kept her squeezed to him as he rocked her back and forth, “I’ll just stay in here with you.”

“I’m…throw-uppy.”

His chest vibrated when he laughed. “It’s okay. Just rest.”

“What about chores?”

“Are you just trying to get rid of me?”

“No. I love you. Very much.” Her stomach twisted. _No_. She could ignore it for a few seconds. “My mom didn’t have morning sickness. It’s not fair.”

“A lot of women have this happen to them.”

“Are you saying I’m weak?”

“Fel-ic-ity.”

“I’ve got to throw up.”

He lifted her up and _carried_ her to the toilet, setting her on the floor so she could do her business without him holding her. _True love, huh?_ “Oliver?” She sank down and wiped her mouth on his sweatshirt. She wiggled her eyebrows at him, as he stared at her in that sexy way. “Do you think I’m sexy? Right now. Not three weeks ago. And be honest.”

“You want me to be honest?”

“Uh huh.” Though if he said she was ugly, she would burst into tears.

Oliver scooted towards her, flushed the toilet, and then set his hands on her hips. “I think that this is the sexiest you have ever looked, because right now, you are going through a lot of suck to bring our baby into the world. So yeah.” He smiled. “You look sexy.”

Okay, she was crying anyways. Felicity burrowed her face in his shirt and sobbed as he rubbed her back. She loved him so much. Every day, he proved his love for her, kissing her heart—literally and figuratively—over and over again until it worked right again. Her stomach eased, and she relaxed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed her sticky forehead. “If you’re done throwing up, we can lay in bed for a bit.”

“I need a shower.” But they didn’t have a shower. Just cold water or a two-hour wait for hot water. “Like a real shower.”

“I wish I could give you one. A two-hour soak at the spa.”

“That’d be nice right now. But it’s okay.” She was falling asleep on his lap, and she didn’t care. “You should probably take me to bed now. Unless you wanna sleep on the bathroom floor.”

He laughed and stood up with her. “I told the kids that we might not be down for a while. They have everything handled with chores and breakfast so we’ll be fine.” He tugged off her shirt before laying her down in the bed. It had never felt so soft. She closed her eyes and whispered, “Thanks, baby.”

                                                 *******

“That should be the last of it.” Oliver dropped the ax to the ground and took a seat on the wood pile. William and Clayton collapsed down on the grass. “Thanks for the help, boys. Now we won’t freeze this winter.” They almost had last year, thanks to his inability to correctly wield an ax. This year, he could, and they would be toasty warm. “In a couple days, we’ll bring the truck out here and bring it all to the garage. For now, let’s head back to the house.”

“I got the ax, but you gotta hand it up to me.” Clayton hopped onto Annie’s horse and reached down for the equipment. When he rode off ahead of them, Oliver started back to the house with William at his side. He glanced at his son, who now stood taller than him. “You’ve been a little quiet the past few days.”

“There’s been a lot on my mind.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”

“Not really. There’s just…I don’t know.” He shrugged. “With the baby coming, and a month shy of my eighteenth birthday, it makes you think about things. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s a lot about being here for two years and that time looking like it will continue.”

“Your mom and I were gonna work on that, but then we found out she was pregnant.” And they’d be taking the Bratva out over his dead body at this time.

“I know, but maybe there’s a reason why there’s nine months between conception and a baby. Besides the obvious stuff.” William raised his eyebrows. “It’s worth a thought. You’re super overprotective, and that’s probably fine until Mom gets pregnancy hormones, but there’s never gonna be a good time to finish this fight. You say that you’ll do it after the baby is born, but then we’ll have a little baby here. And after he or she gets to be a few years old, there might be another one. My point is that there will never be a good time. You and Mom just have to decide when you want to do it.”

Oliver took a deep breath and stared out at the fields. William was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. Not because his son would gloat about it for the next month, but because if he did agree, he would have to do something that he didn’t want to do. That was take a weapon and go after people. Kill them. He would have to stoop down into that darkness again, just as he’d shaken its grip on him. “William…”

“I know what you’re thinking. Mostly because Ellie and I have discussed this at length, and we know that you’ve been putting this off because you don’t want to kill again. I get it. But we can’t live here forever. Some of us are gonna want to get married, and have some friends outside of our family.”

“I’m sorry I’ve kept you from enjoying…life.” What was he doing at seventeen? He had a sports car, a girlfriend who’d committed to becoming his wife, and a boatload of friends who would die for him. William had none of that. He had siblings who would kill for him, but he didn’t even have his driver’s license, let alone a fast car. “You haven’t really gotten to live a fun life at all.”

“Don’t feel bad.” William waved his hand. “I’ve had fun here. Sure, I wouldn’t mind if I’d gotten to kiss a girl by now, but I like my life right now. It’s probably more thrilling and exerting than most teenagers’. Plus, not many people can say they’ve hiked over two mountains and two countries.”

Oliver chuckled. “Maybe, but because of me―”

“We decided we weren’t gonna do that, remember?”

“Decided what?”

“Back in the hospital room. You would stop blaming yourself if I stopped blaming myself for turning you in. And for the most part I have, so that means that you can’t blame yourself. You had no choice. I did, but I’ve decided to deal with it. Either way, the decision is made.”

They walked in silence for a few seconds, Oliver watching his oldest boy look so confident in his words. He’d come a long way. It wasn’t too long ago that he hated him, and turned him in. Wisely, and William now understood that. It had taken a while, but Oliver came to discover that if he hadn’t gone to prison and been forced to reveal the truth, he never would have, and they might still be in that mansion, fighting for each other instead of for their lives.

It didn’t stop the guilt, though, for either of them. But they kept working, and today, it seemed like they were both close to the end of the path. Oliver chuckled and nudged William, sending him sputtering to the side. “When did you grow up so much?”

“I think the better question is when did you get so short?”

                                                            *******

Felicity set the last dish in the cupboard and collapsed back against the counter. She’d sent everyone outside tonight because she needed to feel like she was somewhat helping around here. The past three weeks had included nothing. She hadn’t cooked, cleaned, or done laundry. Everyone did everything for her, and though she should be enjoying it, it was getting on her nerves.

Apparently doing dishes was exhausting, though.

She turned around and watched everyone come out of the barn, Clayton and Oliver carrying the milk buckets. It made her laugh as Oliver walked closer to the house. Who would’ve thought that a Queen would be wearing mud and animal poop-stained jeans and a sweatshirt that hadn’t been washed in months? He enjoyed it. Loved it, actually. It gave him a chance to be normal—whatever normal was—and it meant they could be together.

“Hey, Mom!” Piper banged into the kitchen and held the door for Oliver and Clayton. “We strained the milk in the barn so that you didn’t have to do it.”

_Don’t say anything, Felicity_. Some time she would have to use her loud voice on her husband to get him to understand that it was okay for her to be a normal person while pregnant, but it would ruin the mood tonight. She smiled and opened the fridge for them. “Thank you, guys.”

“We’ll get out of your hair for a bit.” Oliver kissed her forehead as he walked by. “We’re gonna go read some books.”

“But I—” They’d already went outside. Felicity rolled her eyes and went to the screen door to listen in. Oliver took a seat on the swing and pulled Annie onto his lap. “Oofta. You’re getting big.” When she made a sad face, he chuckled. “But thankfully not too old to sit on my lap. Yet.” Piper sat down next to them, while Harper dropped to the ground by the swing. Clayton lay down on the steps, taking full advantage of William’s normal spot, who’d run to the tiny store in town to buy them ice cream. To buy _her_ ice cream. Despite Oliver’s growling, Ellie went for a horse ride.

When the story that had been read over a hundred times began, she went to the living room and sank down to the couch. She set her tablet on her lap and opened the document that she’d been working on. No one knew about it; it was between her and baby. At the end of every day, she took a moment to document something.

_Hey baby._ Her fingers lifted off the keys to rest on her stomach for several heartbeats. It hadn’t started growing yet. Not that she could tell. Oliver insisted that it had, but…it hadn’t. She placed her fingers back on the tablet. _Today I craved mint chip ice cream. All day. Your daddy eventually went to the store to get me some, but there wasn’t any. There were tears. Thankfully I have recovered, and I think you’re punishing me by making me have to pee constantly._

“I’m back!” William stepped into the kitchen, carrying a brown bag. He reached inside and smiled when he pulled out the container of ice cream. “Got you what you wanted. Or needed.” 

“Aww, thank you!” If the baby could jump right now, he or she would be. “I’ll be there in a second.” She tossed the blanket aside, but stayed seated to finish her note. _I have to go because William just gifted me with the most amazing ice cream ever and it now needs my attention, but I love you. Even if I’m gonna have to get out of bed ten times tonight._ She set her tablet down and walked into the kitchen, stopping a few feet from her son to watch him put two scoops of ice cream into a bowl and turn around, the bowl outstretched.

“Here you go, Mom.”

“Thanks, buddy. Baby and I are very happy about this. Did you run into any trouble?”

“Me? No. I didn’t see many people either. Just a typical Sunday night in a town of a hundred people. Enjoy your ice cream; I’m gonna go listen in on the story I’ve heard too much.” William glanced outside. “Ellie’s not back yet?”

“Nope.”

He rolled his eyes. “She’s gonna be lucky to make it another hour without getting grounded.”

“Oliver’s gonna need to learn to extend her a little bit of time to herself.”

“I heard that!”

It was her turn to roll her eyes. “Keep reading, honey. This doesn’t pertain to you. Well, it does, but you don’t need to worry about it right now.” She didn’t want to start an argument. They’d been great lately; every time there was a disagreement, Oliver took a deep breath and walk away. He ‘didn’t want to stress her’, apparently. Which was great, but it annoyed her. She almost wanted to fight, and eventually she would lose it and tick him off enough that he would start yelling.

“Mom, are you going to stop staring into the abyss and looking annoyed?”

“Oh! Sorry. I’m going to eat my ice cream and I’ll be out.”

 “You can eat it outside so that we can all ready that _amazing_ Little House story again.” William rolled his eyes. “Nothing better than that.”

“Just be happy Annie isn’t a fan of the _Hardy Boys_ or something.”

“Or _Nancy Drew_.” He shivered. “That’s even worse.”

“Those books are so good.”

“And the _Hardy_ _Boys_ are good too.”

 “But nothing tops Nancy’s ability to sleuth.” She elbowed William in the ribs, laughing when he pushed her back. “We’ll agree to disagree.”

“Only if you give me a bite of that ice cream.”

“Since you got it for me…” She handed him the spoon. “Go ahead and have some.” It wasn’t necessary to tell him that she was no longer craving it. When there was a knock on the door, she gave him the bowl and walked to the front door. “Bonjour, Martha. What brings you by tonight?”

“Hello, dearie.” Martha, their friend who lived a few miles from them, gave her a tight hug. “How are you feeling, mon amie? You’ve been looking so much better these past week or so.”

“Yeah, I have. The morning sickness hasn’t gone away but I’m not feeling as sick. You can come in if you’d like. Everyone’s just out reading.”

“No, I’m okay. I just wanted to invite the family over for dinner tomorrow night. Would that be possible?”

Did they have anything else to do except reread Little House again? “I’m sure we could do that. Should we bring anything?”

“We have it all handled. When would you like us to come?”

“Six?”

“Oui.” Felicity smiled. Everyone would be excited, because it meant that there was a night that wasn’t spent with just siblings. She gave Martha another hug, and then walked around the porch to tell her family. They reacted accordingly, jumping up and down and screaming. Sometimes it was a good thing they lived in the country.

After they calmed down, Felicity tapped Oliver on the shoulder. “Do you have room for two more?”

When she took a seat, Annie tapped her tummy. “Can the baby hear about Laura and Mary yet?”

“Not yet. It’ll be a little bit before she can.”

“She?” William ‘harumphed’. “ _He_.”

Annie stuck her tongue out.

Oliver rolled his eyes. “Okay, kiddos. With that, it’s time for bed. And before anyone argues with me, yes, I know that it’s early, but your mom and I need extra time to talk before we both fall asleep.”

_We do?_ Felicity shot him a quizzical look. It better have nothing to do with her doing less work around the house. She would end up on bed rest if he restricted her any more. But whatever it was, Oliver needed to talk about it. She stood up and clapped her hands. “He’s right. Time for bed. You guys can have some fun in your rooms if you want.”

“I got this.” Oliver kissed her cheek and scooped Annie up. “Everyone say goodnight to―”

“I’m coming too.”

“You are?”

William let out a low whistle. Felicity snapped her fingers in his direction and mustered up a smile for Oliver. “Yes, and then I want to go for a walk. It’s a nice night, and my legs need some field.” He didn’t like that, but he nodded.

They tucked their kids in, gave them all a talking-to about being reckless, and headed out to the prairies. They didn’t saying anything for several minutes, until Felicity put pressure on Oliver’s hand. “Okay, honey. Time to spill the beans about why you needed extra time to talk to me. You’ve had your thinking face on since you got back from cutting wood.”

“William made a good point today.” He took a deep breath, and then sighed. “About our decision to not go after the Bratva now that we know about the baby.”

“What’s his take on it?”

“That we should do it now. While we still can. He basically pointed out that there will be no good time to do it.”

Part of what she told him all along, but she nodded. “I know.”

“Felicity…”

“The only thing I’m saying is that I understand your reservations about going after the Bratva, and honestly, I have a lot of them too. What if something happens to me?” Her hand rested on her flat stomach. “We need to think about our baby, but we also need to think about the rest of our lives.”

“Which is what William basically said.”

“Okay. So what do we do now?”

“As of now, we’re on the offensive. They haven’t heard from of us for two years, and with that, we can surprise them. With either a cyber-attack or—”

“Cyber-attack, Oliver. You’re not shooting anybody until you absolutely have to.” She looked up, watching his eyes flash his thankfulness at her statement. “I know. I know how you don’t want to hurt anybody again, and we’re going to try to avoid that, okay? There’s two of us, and thankfully, you married a woman who has skills that not many people have, which means that we can do a few things with my skills before you have to do anything.”

“I…” he stopped in his tracks to look at her. She knew that look. “I don’t want you to get hurt though. Not physically, because I’m going to protect you, but I don’t want you to get hurt emotionally. And don’t try to give up a part of you for me.”

She squeezed his forearm, giving him that smiled that said more than any words could. “I won’t. I promise. And we should both at least promise that we’re going to try to do this without too much fighting.” Though they both knew that if push came to shove, she’d be giving the first push. Oliver let out a laugh and then rolled his eyes.

“We all know who should be making that promise.”

He knew her well.

“Or we could make a deal that the first person who flies off the handle has to make the bed for the next five years.”

“I’m gonna have a baby to take care of. So that automatically takes me out of the running. Plus, you’re terrible at making the bed. And speaking of bed, that sounds really nice right now.” She wasn’t going to tell him that her feet hurt, because then he would carry her back to the house and end up hurting himself doing that. Felicity turned around and started back towards the house. Oliver grabbed her hand and stopped her.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. It’s not the morning, so I’m doing great.”

“Are you sure? Because I can carry you.”

“No, no, no.” She walked backwards away from him, waving her finger. “Oliver, I am not getting carried until this baby decides to come out.”

“You look tired.”

“Of course I’m tired. I’m _pregnant_.” Ooh, boy, she was about to spill some truth tea that would ruin the evening. “But just because there’s a baby growing inside me does not mean that I can’t live my life for the next six months, because if I don’t, I’ll have gained a ridiculous amount of weight and won’t remember how to do anything because you haven’t allowed me to!”

“Felicity.” Oliver caught up to her quickly and stopped her again. “It’s my responsibility as your husband to keep you safe and healthy and that means—”

“Please stop. You say it that way because you don’t want me to do anything. Which I am already tired of, and I can’t imagine how nasty it’ll get in a few months!” _Stop it_. She was causing a fight that didn’t need to happen yet, but maybe it would be better now than later. Fighting at eight weeks was better than fighting at twenty-four weeks, right? She glared up at Oliver, who glared back. “You can protect me from the Bratva or whatever, but you can’t protect me from all of the housework, yard work and whatever else comes along because that’s _stupid_!”

“I don’t think it’s stupid. It’s keeping you and the baby safe.”

She let out a string of swear words as she rolled her eyes. “And deciding to go after the Bratva is your way of keeping us safe?”

“You decided that we were doing that!”

“ _Felicity_!”

“No! Just shut up. I don’t want to do this right now.” She started the walk towards the house, slamming her boots into the muddy ground. Of course it was muddy. But Oliver didn’t follow her, which was a good thing, because he might be murdered if he tried to say anything more. She didn’t want to hear or see him for a good eight hours, which would mean that someone had to sleep on the couch. It wouldn’t be her.

She grabbed the tub of ice cream from the freezer and went upstairs. Her annoyance got the best of her, and she locked the door. Not before setting a pillow and two blankets in the hall, because she wasn’t an animal, and wasn’t going to be that pregnant woman who was responsible for her husband freezing to death on the couch. She sat down on the bed and stabbed her spoon into the ice cream container. Why couldn’t everything just…work? Maybe the Bratva had gotten tired of searching. Maybe they forgot, and they wouldn’t try to hurt them again.

Having a baby was supposed to be stressful; she wasn’t naïve to think that, but it was supposed to be more fun than this. Not filled with debates of whether or not they should try to kill people. That’s what they were doing. Planning to take men down. To keep their own family safe.

After a while, Oliver knocked on the door. “Felicity?”

She looked down at her belly, and closed her eyes. Tonight needed to be like this. For both of their sakes. They needed to think about _everything_. By themselves, and then they could figure it out together. “I left you a pillow and blanket out there. I’m sorry, but I need some time.”

There was a pause, and then Oliver sighed. “Okay. Do you need anything?”

“No.” When he left, she sighed and set her ice cream to the side. The _empty_ ice cream tub. That would all come up tomorrow morning, unless she got a miracle and the morning sickness disappeared. _Please, God._ At least one thing could be less complicated. It would almost serve her right tomorrow if she threw up everything. She’d been terrible to her husband, after he’d spent the past few weeks doing everything he could to make her more comfortable. Talk about a nasty wife. But they would have a better chance of reconciling tomorrow than tonight when emotions were still hot.

She could influence him better while she threw up.

                                                            *******

“Are you serious?”

He jerked up, swinging his head around to find William. And Ellie, apparently, who both stood at the foot of the stairs, arms crossed, and eyes squinted. Oliver sighed and dropped back down to his comfy couch. Which was about as hard as his stubbornness this morning. “You guys can go out for a run; I’m not going to today.” Though he knew that wasn’t why they were both still glaring at him.

“What did you do now?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Clearly you did, because Annie came into my bed, crying, because she couldn’t open Mom’s door, and you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“Felicity got mad at me.” Oliver groaned as he stretched. Everything cracked when he moved, and the cracking had gotten more painful as time wore on. “We were having a discussion about what you said yesterday, William, and then she got angry about me apparently ‘babying’ her, and so I ended up here.”

The two looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Boy, they were trouble together. William released a long sigh. “Well, at least this time, you did your fighting out in the prairie and not in your bedroom so we could hear the yelling.”

“Just do us a favor and have your disagreement over with by tonight, because we want our dinner at Martha and David’s to go well.” Ellie muttered the words to him as they walked towards the door. “We’re gonna start chores.”

Oliver pushed himself up and walked to the kitchen to make coffee. Felicity couldn’t drink it right now, so he poured himself a cup and left the rest for the kids who all drank some coffee. He’d given up in that area of parenting. Other areas were more important. He sat outside on the rocking chair, staring out at the farm they’d fixed up. It could be splattered with blood at any time. If he thought about it much, he wouldn’t eat or sleep, but for a few minutes, he needed to consider that idea. That’s what would happen if they stayed here. But it would be like that if they left too.

He slumped further in his chair and released a long breath. He could’ve blamed that on his overprotectiveness of Felicity and the baby, but it wouldn’t be true. He’d caused a lot of fights with Annie too over this topic. All because he couldn’t handle the idea of losing them. It had gotten worse this time; it wasn’t hard for him to figure out why. He’d lost his wife and his baby, and he wasn’t about to do that again.

And he’d much rather stay in a six or more month fight with Felicity than have to go through losing her and their child.

“Oliver?”

What was she doing up? He turned his head to see Felicity standing at the door, hair frazzled, and clutching her blanket. “Shouldn’t you be upstairs? It’s…six.”

“You mean you need me to be upstairs so you know where I am?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Are you feeling better this morning?”

“Uh-huh. I don’t know if it’ll last, but I’m going to be thankful for it while I don’t have to puke.” She gave her head a tilt that defintiely gave off the idea of her being still annoyed. “Maybe the baby decided she was going to be more like me and not like her father.”

He didn’t dare ask. Oliver sighed and shifted his body so he could look at her easier. “Should we talk about what happened last night?”

“I thought about it. A lot. But this morning I came to a realization.” She pursed her lips as she shook her head. “No matter what I say or…yell, you’re going to be overly protective. It’s one of your attractive but very annoying qualities. The problem is that if you don’t calm down and just let me do things, I’m not going to make it.”

“I can’t help it.”

“Maybe you should try. Because right now I need your support and your help, but I don’t need your panic.”

Oliver let his head fall back against the chair and closed his eyes. He could stop this, just like he’d stopped other things in the past, which included everything a few years ago. “My first instinct is to protect people. That’s how I am, and it’s why I was the Hood. Or Arrow. Whatever the kids call me. And with you, it’s going to be like that, and I’m sorry.”

“Hey, Dad!” William ran out of the barn, waving his arms. Oliver jumped up and hopped off the porch to meet him halfway. “One of the horses is gone, and I’m pretty sure it’s Annie’s.”

“Oh, great. The brown one?”

“Yup.”

This could be disastrous. “We’d better go look for him.”

“Cuz if we don’t, there might be a nuclear disaster when she finds out. Do you wanna take the horses out or try to make it somewhere with the truck?”

“I can take the truck and search.”

Oliver opened his mouth to say ‘absolutely not’, but Felicity shot him a glare and said, “I’m going. It’ll help to get some wind on my face. I’ll take someone with me, don’t worry. Seriously, a bird is gonna fly in and make a nest in your open mouth.”

William laughed, which didn’t help. Oliver counted to ten in his head and took a deep breath before he spoke. “Fine. I just don’t want you to get sick or something.”

“I’ll be just fine. I promise.” Five minutes later, she left with Clayton to search for the horse. Oliver told Ellie to keep Annie entertained for as long as possible, and rode off towards the woods with William. He couldn’t stop from thinking about his wife. What happened if the truck gave out? Or if she wasn’t watching and she went over a cliff? _Stop it_. He needed to have some faith. It had rapidly disappeared in the past few weeks.

And now Annie’s precious horse disappeared, which meant he would spend as many hours as necessary to find him so his daughter didn’t have to suffer one more bad thing. He couldn’t the other things, but he could stop this.

While continuing to worry about Felicity and everyone else.

It took seven hours of searching. Half of it was spent with Annie, trying to calm her down, and lying that they would most certainly find her horse. But they did. When he led him back into the yard, his daughter broke down into tears, thanking him over and over again for getting him back. Oliver spent the next hour with the hose, trying to clean his muddy body off before going to dinner. He didn’t ask Felicity for help; she would just take revenge and make it more painful.

Now, he stood out on the back porch of Martha and David’s farmhouse, looking out at the expanse of the land, a can of beer in his hand. He didn’t often drink alcohol, but it tasted good tonight. And helped him ignore the after effects of the awkwardness he and Felicity tried their best _not_ to show during dinner. When the door shut, he glanced back. David lumbered out and stood next to him.

“You and Felicity seem tense.”

“How’d you know? Besides the fact that you’ve been married fifty years?”

“It’s forty-nine, but I could tell when you walked in the door. You’re not as touchy, and there’s no shared smiles. What happened?”

“She got mad.” He set his elbows on the railing and leaned forward. “Apparently I’ve been to protective of her and kept her from doing stuff that she should be able to do.”

“Apparently or…?”

“I know I have. Problem is…I can’t stop myself. I worry too much. About Ellie and William a lot, but mostly Felicity and the baby. I don’t tell her this, but a lot of those nightmares I have are about something happening to her. Or anyone in the family.” He looked at the older man, who just nodded along. Sometimes he wondered if the guy could even hear half of the things anyone said. But he knew more than he did, which was all that mattered. “I tried to protect my wife and our baby, and they died. I can’t let that happen to Felicity.”

They stood in silence for a few moments, drinking beer, until David spoke. “You tried to protect your late wife, yes? Because as much as I hate to say this, Oliver, if you tried to protect her, and she still died, the same thing could happen to Felicity.”

The very thought made him sick to his stomach. “That’s not helping anything.”

“That’s the point. You can’t do everything to protect them. Life doesn’t work that way. And here’s another question: did you worry about your wife?”

He knew where this was going. “A lot.”

“And she still died, right? You still lost her after every single minute of your worrying. Minutes that you might’ve been able to enjoy with her or with your children instead of sitting there and thinking about everything bad that could happen.” David chuckled. “Worrying doesn’t add a single day to your life. Or minute. It just takes away until you suddenly realize you’ve spend a lot of your time thinking about things that you can’t even stop.” He patted Oliver on the shoulder and went back inside.

Oliver let his head sag forward as he released a long sigh. He knew what David said was true. But it was so hard to not control, and to not panic about every little thing. He turned around and watched everyone inside. Felicity and Martha sat at the table, laughing about something—probably him. His wife rested her hands on her tiny stomach. That made him smile. In the kitchen, the girls did the dishes, and the boys sat on the counter, drying plates. His family had been blessed. _He’d_ been blessed. He didn’t deserve any of this, but somehow, this happened.

“Hey, Daddy.” Annie came outside, smiling up at him as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you for finding my horsey.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie, but you already said that several times.”

“I know, but I’m just so happy you got him back. He’s my baby.” She giggled when he sighed. “But not my actual baby. I’m too little.”

“That you are. It’ll be a few years.”

“And then I can have lots of kids.”

That didn’t scare him at all. Oliver looked up when the door opened again. Felicity peeked her head out. “The news is on if you’d like to watch it.” She smirked. “It’d be a good way to practice not worrying.”

He rolled his eyes but chuckled as he stepped inside. “You need to stop eavesdropping on every conversation. You’re at the point you can’t yell at the kids for doing it.”

“I didn’t eavesdrop. I was informed, because David worries about you sometimes.”

“Most people do.” He dropped down onto the couch. Sometimes they watched the news here. In French, but he’d learned enough words to know what they were talking about. He set Annie on his lap and worked to understand a few of the words. The pictures helped. What didn’t help was his kids knowing more than him.

He stopped paying attention after Piper started translating, instead watching Felicity. He loved just sitting there and watching her breathe. Talk. Smile. Everything about her made him happy.

“ _Daddy_!” Annie’s scream snapped him to the TV. His heart clenched when a picture of his sister popped up on the screen. “Oh my God.” He reached for Annie’s hand for something to hold onto as tears filled his eyes. She wasn’t dead. Just worse. Kidnapped. By the Bratva. Someone turned the volume up. He didn’t know who; his eyes couldn’t leave the television.

There were words about Captain Lance speaking about her disappearance. Three months. A daughter named Laila who was one year.

And then they started talking about something else.

The TV flipped off.

No one spoke. Annie cried in his lap. Oliver dropped his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He’d feared something like this happened. Only wished it somehow wouldn’t. Why hadn’t it happened sooner? And why hadn’t he insisted on going back to Starling earlier? He could have prevented this. Maybe. His wife’s hand slipped down his arm, which brought more tears to his eyes. “Felicity…”

“I know, Oliver. I know.” She knelt on the floor next to the couch, her body leaning against it as she ran her hands up and down his arm. “I’m so sorry.”  

“We all know who did it. And I’m sure they do too.” Just like that, his brain switched. Everything that told him not to go after the Bratva backed away and raised their hands. He needed to. Not just for the family here, but for the people he loved far away. Including his niece. “I can help with finding her.” Oliver looked around the room at the kids. They weren’t supposed to see something like that. “C-Can you…go somewhere else for a few minutes?”

Ellie shot him a look, but mumbled, “Yeah.”

When they left, Felicity sat down next to him and took his hand. Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Poor Roy. And Laila. So they ended up having a baby after all. These two will be cousins. But yes, you’re right. You can help.”

He hadn’t expected to get a ‘you’re right’, but he nodded. “Is there any way we can contact them?”

Her eyebrows rose. “You want to do that? Because that’s dangerous.”

“Felicity…my sister is kidnapped.” It had gotten harder to breathe. Or maybe it was his body shutting down and preparing to kill. “We’re so close to being found here. We need to do _something_. And the best option is to contact the team.”

It took a few seconds, but she nodded and sat up straighter. “Okay. Well, I can technically do that in a minute or less, but if we want it to be as safe as possible, then we need to do it somewhere other than here. It’d be better to do it in Italy or somewhere but…”

“We don’t have time for that.”  

“If we drive a few hours away, we’ll can do it in our car. I’ll establish a connection and the Bratva won’t be able to get through. Hopefully.” Felicity gestured to the deck, where the kids stood, half of them crying and the other half staring off into the distance. “What should we do about them?”

“We aren’t bringing them with. I’m practicing my not worrying, remember? They can be by themselves for a few hours.” He stood up and pulled Felicity to her feet. “Let’s go. We already wasted three months; we can’t waste anymore.”

 

Three hours later, after securing the kids at the house and borrowing a car from in town, they arrived in a remote town that could serve as a good way to throw the Bratva off if they managed to crack Felicity’s wall. Oliver stopped the car and glanced at his wife. “Barry or Dig.”

“We’ll meet in the middle and contact Cisco. And thanks to this fancy mancy car we rented, we can do this.” She hit dial and then plugged the tablet into the sound system. “Don’t panic if and when someone speaks, ‘kay?”

 “Sometimes you make me sound like I’m from the thirties. I know how these things work.”

“Cisco Ramon speaking. If this is a scam, trust me when I say you will―”

“Hey, bud. It’s Oliver. Felicity’s next to me.”

Someone screamed. Oliver glanced at his wife, who shrugged. Then Cisco came on again. “Oh my God. Are you serious? I didn’t have too much Monster Drink today? It’s actually…you?”

“It’s us.”

“Listen, Cisco…” Felicity leaned forward. “We can’t talk long, which means you’ll get very little information, except that we were at a friends’ house for dinner and we saw the news about Thea. Oh, and I’m pregnant.”  

“I will do my best to not short circuit at all this information, but okay. How long can we speak?”

“Five minutes. Tops.”

“Let me get Barry. _Barry_?” Felicity turned it down.

Oliver rolled his eyes. “Shoulda called Diggle.”

“Oh, that’s Oliver alright. Hey guys! It’s so good to hear from you. We were all worried. Anyways, you called about Thea.”

“Give me a rundown on what happened.”

“Fairly simple. Roy came home one night and she was gone. No note, no nothing. They kidnapped her to draw you out, Oliver. And it’s working.” Barry sighed. “We can find her. Cisco screamed something about expecting a baby. Maybe you should go back to wherever you were and enjoy your life.”

“I think we all know that I couldn’t do that. My sister is kidnapped. With or without a baby coming, I can’t sit here and enjoy anything.” His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “Do you have _any_ leads?”

“One.”

“Barry, Oliver’s turning red, so you should probably spill.”

“We got security footage of a man who runs a club in Russia. It’s an underground, dark casino. He was the one who presumably kidnapped Thea, and we can only assume that he would have information. We just put this together about a week ago, and Roy’s trying to convince us to let him go, but…he’s so filled with rage Laila wouldn’t have her dad either.”

“I know how he feels.” Oliver shared a look with Felicity. She nodded. This would be the first step to him letting go of his panic and worry. She would come with him to Russia. Not because he wanted her to; because he needed her with him. “Alright, Barry. Give us the name of the club. We’ll take care of it.”

“Isn’t Felicity pregnant?”

She rolled her eyes. “And?”

“I was just assuming you would prefer being at home.”

“Oh, I definitely would. But I’m not at the luxury to do that, and right now, I don’t want to. It’s time we take the Bratva down, and,” she tossed Oliver a smile, “this is the first step. Because our baby is probably not going to like where we are living at the moment.”

“And I feel the same, so give us the location. It’s high time we take a trip.”

When the call ended thirty seconds later, Felicity set her tablet in between them and leaned against the door. Her eyes closed. She hadn’t slept very much lately. Whether it was about the baby or the worries about their lives, neither of them got enough sleep, and it was starting to show. “Let’s go home. We’ll tell the kids what we’re planning on doing and then get a private plane to Russia.”

“You sure we aren’t going to be spotted?”

“Maybe. But eventually they’ll know anyways.”       

Two hours later, he pulled the car into the driveway. Felicity stayed in her seat to finish up the plane ticket shopping, while he went to the house. Ellie and William sat in the kitchen, giant cups of coffee on the table. Oliver ignored that and took a seat next to them. “We got ahold of Cisco. Thea was kidnapped three months ago by the Bratva.”

“Well, we all put that one together,” William muttered.

“I’m sure she’s alive.” At least that’s what he would tell himself. “They just want to draw me out.”

“And you’re gonna go after them.” Ellie let out a bitter laugh. “Isn’t that playing right into their hands?”

“Basically.” He looked up when the door banged shut. Felicity stepped in and scanned the area.

“I’m guessing you told them what we’re planning on doing?”

“Mom, it’s stupid.” William lifted his hands in the air. “Like Ellie said; you’re playing right into their hands.”

“Which is what we would have done if we took your advice and went after them on our own. It’s been two years for us, and it’s also been two years for them.” And how would he do in a fight? Adrenaline would kick in, but it had been a long time since he had to use a weapon to kill. Or even injure. Oliver shoved the thought away and leaned forward. “Kids, I know. It’s scary, and it’s almost unreasonable. But she’s my sister, and it’s my responsibility to keep her safe.” His stomach clenched as he imagined her. What were they doing to her? Did they let her go out and breathe in fresh air or did they keep her locked in a prison?

Ellie cocked her head, and stared at him. After a few seconds, she sighed. “Okay, I get it. Mostly because I know you very well, and there’s no way you could be here and be happy. So do whatever you need to.”

“I agree with the sis. But you might as well take down the entirety of the Bratva while you’re at it. Don’t worry about us.” William gave Ellie the side-eye and then grinned. “We’ll be fine here for as long as you need to be gone. But you gotta give us some cash so we can get stuff for ice cream.”

“We’ll see about that.” Oliver stood up and took his bow off the shelf.

“I got us tickets for tonight, so we need to be out of here in not too long. And I got us an easy way to get the necessary weapons on the plane. Where are the rest of the kids?”

“They’re all downstairs playing a game. I don’t think they’ll be happy about you leaving.”

“We’re not exactly happy either.” Oliver set his box of weapons on the table and then headed downstairs. He gave them a filtered version of what they were about to do. They all cried and begged him not to go, but once Harper understood, she got everyone to calm down. Annie sobbed the hardest, asking over and over again if they would come back.

“I promise we’ll be back.” He kissed her hair and gave her one last squeeze. “You can count on that, okay?”

When he went back upstairs, the two oldest hadn’t moved. Oliver took a deep breath and wished for the hundredth time that they didn’t have to have this conversation. “There’s always a chance that something happens. Don’t open your mouths right now.” They both looked ready to disagree with him. “But _if_ something happens, there’s a half a million underneath the workout bench. Go straight to Martha’s house and they have a plan.” Because every normal family had a plan in place in case their parents died at the hands of an evil organization.

“I don’t really like thinking about anything happening.”

“Let’s pray that it doesn’t.” Oliver pulled Ellie into a hug. “We’ll be fine, and you’ll do great. Try not to do anything crazy.”

“I’m all packed.” Felicity came down the stairs with a suitcase. “I got you stuff too. Bow and quiver can go in here as well, because we got this done lightly. And I have a dress that will, uh,” she sidled up to him and cupped her hand around his ear, “Will bring your jaw to the floor. Just in case we have to go to one of those underground casinos.”  

Over his dead body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: "What happens in Russia, stays in Russia." :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity head to Russia to find Thea, while the Queen children are left unguarded at home.

“Well, this is…” Felicity stepped into the room that apparently was supposed to be a hotel room. “This is literally bigger than my apartment was. How much was this thing?” She looked at her husband, who just shrugged. “Don’t tell me that you’re used to hotel rooms like this. Because I almost feel bad sleeping in a place like this.”

“It’s either this place or a hotel that has mice in the walls. I figured you would enjoy this one better.” Oliver winked at her as he set his suitcase on the table. The suitcase that contained no clothes and only weapons and computers. “First thing first. I need you to figure out the best way into that club.”

“While you go and…?”

“Sit here and watch you hack.” He dropped down to the couch and crossed his feet. “It’s very sexy.”

“Well, then.” She set her tablet on the table and got it open without taking her eyes off Oliver. He held her gaze, a little smile on his face. He looked like a boy staring at an old-fashioned gumball machine. Like he couldn’t believe he got to see something like that. She’d first noticed it when she caught him watching her attempt to make an omelet, and the look had just deepened with desire over time. _Get it together, Felicity._ They couldn’t make out right now. “Why don’t you come over here and I’ll show you how to do this. You never know when it could come in handy.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes, you do, and puppy eyes aren’t gonna help you. So get up and sit down next to me.” She waited until he sat down next to her to begin hacking into the accounts. “Basically the key to hacking is to not let your emotions get in the way. Which is what I do all the time. But hacking into a kid’s laptop is much different than hacking into the laptop of a mob boss. Which is not what we’re going to do, because I would need my dad to do that. I’m only so smart.”

“Hey, honey?”

“Hmm?”

“You lost me at emotions while hacking.”

“Sorry.” She winced. “I’m not a really good teacher, am I?”

“With children whose brains aren’t fried, yes, but I’m just good at archery.”

“Maybe if you listened…” she typed in a code that drew up a floorplan of the bar they needed to infiltrate. “This is how hacking works. It’s all code. You can’t hack into anything without one. Another key is to find a weakness in the computer or code you’re hacking. That makes sense to you?” When he nodded, she continued. “Right now, all we need to hack is floorplans. Everybody has them, and it looks like this place is no different.”

When the pictures popped up, Oliver took the tablet from her and scanned the building. After he swore several times in succession, she peeked over his shoulder. “What’s the problem? Because I don’t see anything wrong.”

“I can’t get in there.”

“In your suit?”

“Is there any other way?”

Well, technically, but he didn’t seem ready to explore those possibilities yet. Felicity shook her head. “No, there’s not. But remember that I can’t see anything other than floorplans. What on earth are you seeing that I’m not?”

“Right here.” Oliver pointed to the back door. “There’s something in between the door and the storage room. In a different scenario, it could be just a random area, but not a Russian bar that has ties to the mob. Don’t get me wrong, I _could_ get in there, but―”

Time to give her opinion on how to do this. “There are other options.”

“I know. But that is a last resort.”

“Don’t you think this is a last resort? Because we need to get in there somehow, and maybe the best way is as husband and wife who just need a drink. Well, you need a drink. I do too, but I can’t. So let me get my fancy clothes, and we’ll go…Russian clubbing.” She could practically see the ‘no’ on his face. “Oliver…we have to.”

“I know. I just don’t want to deal with any of this right now.”

“What do you mean?” When he stood up, she slid her arms around his waist. He couldn’t relax; it wasn’t like he often did. But now the tension seemed worse. Oliver could cover it up with his flirtatious ways and his ability to act normal in less-than-great circumstances, but she knew how he worked. It was hard to hide anything from her, and he knew that.

Oliver sighed and worked his arms around her back, drawing her close. He also knew how to draw things out. Finally, he dropped his gaze to the floor and loosened his grip on her. “I can’t stop thinking about what we could be doing. How we could be on a vacation with the family celebrating our new baby. Or maybe we’d still be on our anniversary trip. Or maybe tonight we’d just spend the day at the mansion, in the pool.”

“Aw, honey.” Felicity laid her head on his chest, happy to just hear his heartbeat for the time being.

“And Felicity,” his grip tightened on her, “I can’t lose you, and there will always be a risk. And we don’t get to do any of those things we could be doing, because of the choices _I_ made.”

She stayed in her position, resting against him, because in the end, that was all she could give him. Speeches did do their own good, but not as much as her love, and standing next to him, even in times like this. “Y’know, Oliver, when I was little, my mom always told me that she and my dad failed. She never told me why. I always assumed that it was because of me. But now I know why they failed.” And now he had a freaked out look on his face. “Only because we’re doing the exact opposite.”

He visibly relaxed, which made her giggle.

“Marriages fail because a couple reaches a point where life tries to drown them. It always attempts to. And they give up. They stop believing in each other, and they stop loving. Which is the exact opposite of what I’m going to do for you. Yes, you’ve made mistakes. But no matter what ones you made in the past, or make in the future, I’m going to stay by your side. I’ll be right here, dragging you along and making sure you forgive yourself. Because you’ll do the same for me. Plus,” she stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him once, “you are the most wonderful, most compassionate man I have ever known.”

She brushed back his fluffy hair and smiled when his lips curved. “I don’t care where we are. I would complain a little bit if we were in the Arctic, but you’re with me. The kids love me. I don’t care about an anniversary trip or whatever rich people do. I just want you. Okay?”

He closed his eyes. Smiled. And then nodded. “Okay.”

She kissed his cheek before pulling away. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll look like a regular Russian mob boss’ wife. Don’t doubt me; I can do it.”

                                                ******

William opened his eyes when the floorboards creaked. He forced himself to not go for the box underneath the bed that contained three weapons, instead sitting up and creeping to the window. The kitchen light was on, which meant someone was sleepwalking. Annie, likely. Worried about her horse. He sighed and headed down, but stopped halfway when someone spoke.

“I can’t exactly say where I’m from. I’ve told you that before, so you have to stop asking.”

 _Ellie_. What the heck was she doing? And who was she talking to? William continued down to the kitchen and stopped at the entrance. His sister spotted him, said a hasty goodbye, and slammed the phone down.

“What are doing down here? It’s one.”

“I think the correct question is what are _you_ doing down here? And talking to…” William swore. “Don’t you realize how dangerous that is?”

“Contrary to popular opinion, I do need and have a life.”

 _Breathe._ He couldn’t get into a screaming match with her right now. But he needed answers, and get the point across that what she was doing was dangerous. “So how long as this been going on? That you’ve been endangering us?”

“I’m not endangering anyone, Will. I’m just talking to someone.”

“And who is it?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re not my father. I don’t need to give you any information.”

“Yeah, but I am your brother, and since I’m the oldest guy here, I’m responsible for everyone staying safe. And what you’re doing is stupid.”

“Dang it, William.” She slammed her hand on the table and stood up. “I’m almost twenty, and how many boyfriends have I had? Zero. How many parties have I been to? Zero. Have I had a life? No! All because we’re stuck in a little town in France and our only friends are an old couple who barely know English. Don’t you think we deserve something a little bit better than _this_?”

And it was partly because of him. William sank to a chair and rubbed a hand over his eyes, stifling a small smile when he remembered how many times his dad had done the same thing. Like father, like son. And apparently they made the same mistakes too. “I know, Ellie. I’m almost an adult, remember? It’s been rough for me too. But I’m not going to do anything stupid that might endanger any of us. Mostly because I’ve already done my fair amount of damage to this family already.”

She scoffed. “None of that was your fault.”

“Annie has nightmares because of me.”

“Willie, it doesn’t work that way. There are a lot of other people to blame for what happened to our family.”

“What? Are you blaming Dad again?”

“No! I’m not. I’m…not.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m just tired of everything. Mom and Dad are in Russia trying to find our aunt. We’re here on a farm. It’s hard not to want something more than this. And I’m sorry about the phone call. He’s just a friend I met a while ago, and sometimes I call him when I’m extra sad.”

So it was a guy. Their father would have a field day with this one when he got back. Now William would have to decide whether or not to tell him about it. “I know. And it’s gonna change. We just have to be patient. Can I at least know the guy’s name? Just in case.”

A little smile curled her lips up. “His name is Archer.”

“Dad’s gonna love that.”

“If you tell him, I will force you to swallow a rat.”

He raised his hands and took a few steps backwards. “I won’t say a word. Now go to bed. I’m wide awake, so I’m gonna go sit outside for a while.” When she said goodnight, he went out to the porch. The full moon cast shadows on the yard, and on the targets that his dad used to practice. William went to the barn and pulled out one of the bows and quivers. When he tried to pull it back, his shoulder cracked. “Jeez.” What did his dad have him use when they practiced together? A bow for babies?

He loaded the bow string with an arrow and worked to pull it back. “C’mon, you stupid thing.” How weak was he? Oliver fired this thing two months after getting shot twice in the stomach. He could barely get it pulled back, and when he did, the arrow went flying way past the target. Hopefully there wasn’t any security cameras here, because Harper would have a field day with this. William sighed and let the bow fall to his side. If he wanted to wield this thing, he needed muscle. Or at least a lot more than he had.

Because if it came down to the line, he needed to be able to protect his family.

                                                            ******

“I cannot believe we are doing this right now.” Felicity bounced next to him like a schoolgirl who couldn’t believe she got to go to a glue factory. Oliver sighed for the millionth time and stopped them. She pursed her lips when he glared at her. They’d had this conversation ten times. But still she couldn’t seem to rein in her excitement. Nerves, since he knew her better than she thought he did.

“Felicity.”

“I know what you’re going to say, and I’m trying to be good. But I’ve never gotten to do anything like this.”

“And you will never do it again.” He cupped his hand on her elbow and steered her to the entrance. “Let me do the talking.”

“But I know the password, and you don’t. So stop being a worried jerk and let _me_ deal with it.” Before he could ask her if this was the result of pregnancy hormones or something he did that he couldn’t remember doing, she stepped up to the armed guard at the door. And smiled. “Hi, sir. My husband and I are looking to get into your club for the night. Don’t worry; we know the password so you don’t have to shoot us.”

_Felicity!_

“It’s snap-dragon.”

When the guard let them in, she flashed Oliver a sly smile. He sighed again and caught up to her. “I would prefer we don’t get recognized, but I need a place I can stake everything out.”

They picked a place at the bar that had the least amount of people. A waiter walked up to them, frowning. “Drinks for you?”

“We’d like to open a tab. I’ll have…something strong.”

“And you, ma’am?”

“Oh, I’m allergic. To everything.” Felicity waved her hand in a ‘slitting of the throat’ motion and gagged. “You don’t want me to drink anything, so no thank you.”

The guy left with his eyebrows raised. Felicity shrugged. “What? I don’t want anyone knowing why I can’t drink. Speaking of, are you sure it’s a good idea to have something strong? Because I know you were a bit of a partier back in the day, but maybe not anymore.”

“I need a drink.” Possibly a few. “Could you pull out the description they gave us?”

“Right here. From what I found out about this place, he’s the manager, or assistant manager. It’s a Friday night, so it seems like someone like that would be here to make sure everything runs correctly.”

The bartender handed him his drink. Oliver chugged it down and turned to his wife. She had her head cocked and eyes narrowed. “What? Did I do something?”

“No. It’s just that…I never got to meet the old Oliver Queen. Obviously I’ve gotten to know the romantic, sappy side, but I’ve never really asked about the man you were before, y’know―”

“Before Annie died?”

“Yeah.”

“You wouldn’t have wanted to meet that person.” He looked around the room, picking out people who were armed. Over half of them. No sign of the man they wanted. Who they needed to get his sister back from whatever hell they’d put her in. “Annie put up with a lot. If you thought I’m bad now.” He let out a bitter laugh. “I was terrible.”

“But she still loved you. A lot.”

“Yeah.” This time, he smiled. “She had a lot of patience. Thankfully you do too.”

“Wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t. Well, I probably still would’ve said yes. Definitely. I knew what I was getting into.” She shook her head and laughed. “You are unlike any man I have ever known, which explains why I married you.”

“Yeah?” He leaned forward, ready to claim his wife’s lips, but her forehead crinkled, stopping him halfway there. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. Go ahead and kiss me, please.”

Ignoring that she was too distracted to be kissed right away, Oliver chuckled and kissed her until a man cleared his throat. They pulled away, Felicity letting out a loud cough, and Oliver smiling. He didn’t care if they made someone uncomfortable. “Do you need anything, sir?” His wife kicked him with her heel. _Oh._ Their guy, based on the description, stood before them. Oliver closed his eyes for a second to calm the anger. It didn’t work. All he could see was this man’s hands around his little sister’s neck, driving the life out of her.

“Oliver.” Felicity whispered his name as her hand settled on his arm. She flashed the guy a smile. “Do you need anything, sir?”

“You just look familiar.”

“Well, everyone has a twin out there.” Felicity laughed, and waved her hand. “We’ve been in here a few times before, but it’s been a while. I don’t think… _we_ don’t think we’ve ever seen you here before, though.”

“I’m the manager. Dom.”

“Oh, you’re the manager?” Felicity put pressure on Oliver’s thigh and leaned forward. “I wonder if you could help us. It’s really stupid, but, it’s a little frustrating.”

What was she doing?

“We haven’t come here for a while, because last time, someone tried to get his hands on me.” Dom pulled away from the counter, his brow crinkled and lips in a firm, straight line. “I was very traumatized by it, and we finally decided to come back here so that I could free myself of those feelings.”

“I’m so sorry, ma’am. I can’t believe someone in my club would have done anything like that. Is there anything I could do to help find the person?”

He needed this guy _not_ in the open, surrounded by men with guns. Oliver cleared his throat. “Uh, we were wondering if we could do some investigating. It happened back past the women’s bathroom. My wife needed a smoke, and,” he winced when she kicked him again. What else was he supposed to say? She needed to use the bathroom? “And then the man came.”

“I’ll show you around.” Dom shook his head. “If we find this man, he will be brought to justice. Come with me.” He led the way down the hall. Oliver glanced at Felicity, who nodded. Thea needed to be back in Roy’s arms. Their daughter needed her. Wherever she was being held, this man held answers. Or maybe not answers. Just _something_. His hand slid into his pocket to withdraw the knife, but as he pulled it out, a fist slammed against his jaw.

Felicity shrieked.

Oliver stumbled back several steps, raising his arms to block another punch. Dom slammed him against the wall and pulled out a gun. “Did you seriously think I wouldn’t recognize you? I work for the Bratva, Mr. Queen. Not the police department. I recognized you the moment you came in here. And Mrs. Queen, I’d stay out of this unless you want to get your head blown off. Right after the children’s.”

Just like they knew where the kids were. They were on their way to― _Stop, Oliver._ He had to stop. This wasn’t it. They would be okay. He stilled his body and glared at the agent. “Well, we recognized you too. Our friends traced my sister’s disappearance to this club. Which means you have information.” In two seconds, he had Dom against the wall, the gun against his head. “So why don’t you tell me where she is?”

“Oliver!”

“Felicity, back up.” He didn’t take his eyes off his man. “You’re going to tell me where Thea is or I’ll blow your brains out.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I would. Just not here. It would be out in front of your guests out there. They would all see their beloved owner meet an ugly demise.” This was too easy. He’d been out of this work for two years, and it all came rushing back. Just like he feared it would. Oliver cocked the gun, causing Felicity to let out a little cry. _I’m sorry, honey._ “ _Don’t_ underestimate me!”

“Oh, I don’t underestimate you. But you won’t kill me with your wife here.”

“You’re right. I would never.” He pressed his arm against Dom’s throat and turned around to Felicity. “Please go.”

“I’m not going to. I won’t let you do this.”

“Felicity.” He turned his head and spoke the rest of the words with his eyes. Dom couldn’t know about the humanity that the ex-Bratva agent had left. Or maybe it had grown. He didn’t know. Either way, he had some. But the humanity wouldn’t stop him from getting information. When she nodded and left, he grabbed his prisoner and flung him through the bathroom door. Funny how no one came running. It was if this was a normal occurrence. A drunken rage, or a killing spree. Just like something he’d done so many times.

“I need to know where my sister is.” Oliver grabbed Dom by the collar and slammed him against the wall. “Give me information. Or you die, along with everyone else you love.”

Dom laughed. “I think you’re talking about yourself. You would be foolish to believe that we won’t eventually find your family and kill them all.”

“Maybe. But the key word is eventually.” Oliver swung his fist, bloodying Dom’s face. Twice. Three times. His hand hurt. Maybe his mind could go back, but his body couldn’t. Finally, he let him fall to the ground. His heart clogged when the man laughed, spitting up blood. “She isn’t…dead…is she?”

“They were right about you. Always with a soft spot for family. We were surprised you didn’t come after us earlier when your sister was taken. Don’t worry, Oliver. She’s alive. She served her purpose. It’s been too long without you.”

“You wanted to draw me out. I get it.”

Dom pushed himself up and took a step towards him, before Oliver shoved him back to the ground. He chuckled and wiped his mouth. “Mr. Queen, you can only hide from your demons and your past for so long before it all comes tumbling out in one bloody mess. Either that will be your soul. Or your family. Or maybe it’ll be both.”

 _Get out._ The words came in Felicity’s voice. Dom didn’t know anything. He was just here to taunt, and to scare. Oliver sent the assassin into la-la-land and stepped out of the bathroom. He walked two steps before breaking into a run. _Felicity_. He needed her. Now more than ever. She spotted him from several yards away, and met him halfway. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. The words that she’d told him a few hours ago echoed in his head.

“I’m scared.” He buried his face in her wool coat. “I’m scared, Felicity. Terrified that I’m going to become the man I had been. And I can’t. Because when I’m that person…I’m not good. I’m hardly the man you love, and the kids hated me when I was…him. I can’t let that happen.”

“I know, Oliver. I know.” Her body pressed against his, giving him a moment to soak in her love. He always needed that. More of her. It kept him safe. Let him know that he was worth it. That she actually loved him. Some days he had a hard time believing that she could. Today was one of them. “I know this is scary, because you’re right. That man that you were,” she made a face, “he wasn’t always the man I fell in love with. But the thing to remember is that he wasn’t _always_. You made me an omelet as an apology. You let us keep Fluffy. That man was still there. Annie helped forge it, and I’m going to keep it together. We both are.”

But what if she couldn’t hold it together? What if something happened to her? Or―

“I think the proper way to finish off tonight is to go get a drink.”

“But you kind of can’t.”

“I can’t. But I’m an ex-partier like you.” When he raised his eyebrows, she waved her hand. “And by partier, I mean I stayed up past midnight binge-watching sappy TV shows with a bowl of popcorn on my lap. Those nights usually came after an extra hard, long day. And you’ve had a rough day. So let’s go. I saw a really small, cute bar half a mile from here.” She tugged on his hand. “Seriously, Oliver. We’ll take a brief moment to pretend that you and I are on some crazy excursion around the world while still on our honeymoon.”

“And the baby?”

“Got things done quick.” She winked and started down the sidewalk. Oliver paused a moment to chuckle and shake his head, but he caught up to her with two strides. He grabbed her hand and leaned over to her temple. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Ten minutes later, they stepped into the little bar. Felicity ordered him something crazy and got herself a club soda. The bartender found it hilarious that the pregnant wife had taken the depressed husband out for a drink, and gave them an entire tray of shots to try. There was no way to explain to him that the wife couldn’t drink, and every time he let his mind wander even an inch from the exact moment they were in, he could see death.

Which meant he sampled all of them.

                                                            *******

She hadn’t purposefully done this. Got Oliver drunk. She actually felt really bad, because now he was laid out on the bed, snoring. He would have a hangover like no other when he woke up. For now, she needed to do some searching on her own. With or without her keyboard and her husband. She shed her Russian mobster wife clothes and changed into jeans and a jacket that covered any hint of pregnancy. If she ran into anyone…bad, she didn’t need someone to figure that out.

With a gun hidden underneath her jacket, she went down to the lobby. _Please speak English._ “Hello, sir?” The man at the front desk didn’t look too excited to see her.

“Yes?”

“Do you Russians have public computers in your hotels?”

“Of course we do. They’re in that room.”

“Thank you.” She flashed him a smile, though he didn’t seem too happy about helping her. She went to the room dedicated just for not hacking, and dropped to a chair. Oh, her body ached from all of the moving it had done. It needed a good, long rest. Preferably on the beach with three or more trained professionals massaging her. That sounded amazing. “Focus, Felicity.” She plugged in the USB she’d brought with her from the Queen Mansion that contained files from Queen Consolidated. It might not help with this search, but she’d learned to always come prepared.

They needed…something. If she could find one thing on here, with them far away from the kids, this trip would be worth it. “Come on…give me something. And stop talking to yourself. People are gonna think—Felicity!” She released a long sigh and started her search. The dark web could do a lot of things. Finding information on a tablet was impossible, but finding something on a computer? There could be a miracle.

“Assuming you’re using your real name…” She entered Dom Petrov into the FBI’s database. Nothing popped up. “But you’re not, so I have to go on a long search to find it.” With her skills, though, it took five minutes. Charles Jameston. As boring as it sounded, it made sense, because Dom had the accent, but hardly looked Russian. Using that name, a picture popped up. Cisco apparently hadn’t been able to figure that one out.

“Time to go figure you out, sir.” She caught herself before she laughed out loud, but it felt good to be doing this. Maybe finding something that could get Thea back. And get them their lives back. It took two hours of searching. A few swear words. Four runs to the bathroom. Two elevator rides upstairs to check on Oliver, and a coffee cup later before she yelled, “Ah- _ha_!” She jumped out of her seat and pumped her fist—dear God she pumped her fist—in the air when information popped up.

Her old friends pulled through.

She had the information that they needed. It wasn’t a lot, but it would give them something to go off of. Now it was time to go take care of her husband, and prepare herself for the yelling she would get when he found out that she’d done hardcore hacking. On a hotel computer.

                                                            ******

“The less moves you make, the less chance there is that I’ll have to clean up puke. And I’m assuming you’re awake, because you’re moaning and groaning like a woman in childbirth.”

Oliver lifted his head to see his wife sitting on the couch next to him, smirking. He let out a groan and dropped his face back into the pillow and mumbled, “This is all your fault.”

“I don’t see why it could be.”

“You literally took me out and got me drunk.”

“I honestly didn’t think you were in that bad of shape to do so, and I really didn’t think that a tough man like you could get wiped out after six shots. Or so. Maybe there were more. I don’t know. The best part though was when you started slurring your words and oh my gosh that was the best Oliver Queen moment _ever_.”

His head hurt. Badly. Was this what a hangover felt like? He couldn’t remember feeling this way. He could work out with a hangover. This…this was entirely different. “I think I got poisoned.”

“No, I think this is what we call ‘you’re getting old’.”

Oliver shifted an inch, but stopped when bile rose in his throat. Dear God. He had a _hangover_. Because his wife took him out, and he was so depressed that he got drunk. _Nice_. It had been years since he’d done anything like this. “I’m…” _don’t throw up, don’t throw up._ “Sorry.”

“You’re forgiven. Mostly because of the epic blackmail I have on you now.”

He jerked his head up, wincing when the urge to throw up deepened, and caught sight of the camera. He let out another groan and set his head back on the pillow, careful not to jar his body any more than it already had been. So much for being productive. All they’d succeeded in doing was give pep-talks and get one part of the squad drunk. Which of course had to be him. They should have done this earlier when it could have been Felicity with too much to drink. She could’ve handled it better than he did. “What happens in Russia, stays in Russia. It’s a rule.”

“It certainly does not, because I’ve already got pictures. And video.”

“Felicity Smoak, delete those now.”

She let out a laugh that should have been cute. Right now it just annoyed him. And hurt his ears. “Do you seriously think I’m going to do that? Because these pictures are literally all I need just in case you get weird and divorce me or something. You wouldn’t dare, because these are the real deal when it comes to blackmail.”

He sighed and turned his head so he could look at her. She couldn’t stop grinning, and it made him chuckle, even though that it almost caused an eruption like never before. “You think this is funny?” She kept laughing. “Felicity…” he shook his head, but a little smile on his lips wouldn’t go away. “This isn’t funny.”

“Maybe not, but sometimes we gotta make our own humor.” She stood up and set the phone down. “You need a shower, and a nap before we head home.” She pulled the pillow out from under him and tossed the blanket away. “Can you stand up?”

“Uh, huh.” He sat up, and winced. “I feel like I got hit by a truck.”

“Well, we did nearly get hit by a truck when I tried to get you up here, so maybe that’s why.” When he planted his hands on the outside of his thighs and stared at her, she laughed. “I’m kidding. Now we have a little over an hour before we need to leave, so let’s go.”

He got to his feet and grabbed Felicity’s shoulder for support. “And we got nothing to show for it.”

“Well, I do.”

“Pictures of me don’t count.”

“While you were passed out, I did my own digging, knowing full well that there’s a chance that the Bratva could track us here. Dom doesn’t have any idea where Thea is, and we aren’t going to get answers here.”

“And how exactly did you figure that out?”

“I think you would prefer you didn’t know that.”

“There’s not much that can shock me anymore about you.”

“I may or may not have went onto the dark web and found the information from some really old, really smart friends.”

“Felicity…” Oliver collapsed back against the vanity, which in turn, caused his stomach to twist into knots. After letting out several swear words, he dropped to his knees and vomited into the toilet. Felicity rubbed his back, which brought back several memories of him and Tommy switching off throwing up, both comforting each other. Why had Annie wanted to marry him? He rested against the wall and searched Felicity’s eyes. She’d told him all the reasons she could never go deep into the web like that. The Bratva could track them down and they’d be dead.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips to keep from yelling. That wasn’t possible. Felicity couldn’t just get information like that. She wouldn’t put herself in danger like that. Would she? “You told me that it wasn’t a good idea to do that, because the Bratva would find us quicker.”

“Well, it was either that or we go home with no information. So you’re welcome.”

Oliver sighed and dropped his head back against the wall. “Honey…”

“You need Thea back. But what you don’t realize that I need her back as well. I don’t want Laila to grow up without a mom, because I grew up without a dad, and it took me a long time to get over that. So I took matters into my own hands.”

“But you could’ve gotten hurt.” He was passed out up here while she hacked away downstairs. What if someone had found her?

“Yeah, and you could’ve died of alcohol poisoning last night. I think it’s what we call life. And if we don’t do things just because we’re scared of dying or getting hurt, we’re never gonna be happy. So get your butt in the shower because now you smell like puke and I don’t want to smell that all the way home.”

The door slammed. Oliver grunted and pulled himself up. “Oh, God.” More about Felicity than the fact that the floor spun and black spots appeared before his eyes. He braced himself on the wall and started the shower. Kept it cold. More to punish himself for being a jerk to Felicity than to wake him up from his hangover. He stepped in and worked himself to relax.

What was she thinking? What if she got hurt? Killed? He would’ve been too drunk to notice. He let his problems slither their way into him, and suck him up, which nearly led him to losing his wife. And if they found her, they would’ve found him. The kids would be orphans.

Though apparently they now had information.

He finished his shower, grabbed a towel, and stepped out into the room. _Please let this go well._ “Felicity?”

She peeked around the corner, her eyes red. Oliver sighed and took a few steps towards her, but stopped when his stomach roiled. “Okay, I’m sorry. I never meant to yell at you, and thank you. For getting information on Thea. Or whatever you got. Because I never actually asked what you got, so,” he spread his hands. “Please tell me what you have.” He took a seat on the bed. “I’m all yours, and I promise I won’t yell.”

“Thea’s likely somewhere in Russia. Our guy doesn’t know, because he only does stuff for the Bratva in Starling. He’s only home because his wife had a baby.”

And regardless of who that man was, Oliver had nearly killed a man who’d just become a father. He gulped and looked at his wife again. “Go on.”

“I also found where the Bratva are stationed in Starling City. But you probably already knew about that. Correct?”

“No. They never gave me that information. I reported to someone over the phone. I know of one spot, but there’s a bigger one but I never knew where it was, no matter how much digging I did. ”

“Well, I have it now. And I have a feeling that the only way you’ll get information about Thea is if you go back to Starling.”

 _No_. “Felicity…”

“And I can see it in your eyes. You don’t want to. But you have to. We’ll be just fine without you for a little bit. Go home, Oliver.” She had made her way towards him with each word, and now her hand rested on his shoulder.

He moaned and let his cheek rest against her warm hand. “They could be planning an assault mission right now.”

“And they might not be. We don’t know what the future holds. We just gotta live. Which is why I got you a private plane to Starling late tonight. You’ll have an hour at home, then you go.”

“So basically you decided that eventually I would say yes.”

“Of course. Because I’m your wife, and you listen to me. And like it or not, you still have a hangover, so lay down and sleep a little bit. We need to be out of here in an hour.” 

                                                *******

Ellie brushed the hair out of her eyes and stood up. Her head hurt, and even though the temperature couldn’t be over fifty, sweat dripped down her cheeks and onto her dirty clothes. A long day trying to get everything done before their parents got back would do that to a person. She grabbed her baseball cap and started to the house, letting out a long sigh when she glanced down at her clothes. There was cow poop on there somewhere, along with a streak of blood when she cut herself on the shovel.

“Hey, Ellie.”

She screamed and whipped around, slamming her fist against the intruder’s nose. “Oh!” The boy grunted and fell to the ground. “Oh, I am so sorry. Are you still alive?”

“I don’t know if I am.” Archer held his hand over his face. “I think you broke my nose.”

“I didn’t do that on purpose.”

“Well, I’d hope not. Do you have something I can stop the blood with?”

“I have this.” She ripped the lower part of her shirt off, wincing when it went up further than she intended. “This’ll do it. Do you need help? I’m not really afraid of blood.”

“I don’t doubt that. Mostly because you n early killed me there. What is your problem?”

“You scared me. My dad taught me how to defend myself.”

“Speaking of your dad…he’s not gonna be happy when he finds out about this. Especially that you and I have known each other for a while. I don’t really feel like dying, though he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would snap a guy’s neck.”

“Eh, no.” She hid a wince as her brain flashed with all the ways her father could find out about this. No matter she was almost twenty. He would still be mad. Irate, even. Good news is that there wasn’t much he could do. She could make her own decisions once and a while. Like having a boyfriend. Kind of. Who she just decked. Thanks to her parents being overreactive and worried.

“You look like you’ve had a really rough day.”

“Just a normal day at the office.” She tried to smile, but her lips hurt. Not enough lip balm. William would need to go to the store. He could at least do that, since he didn’t seem to like her much the past couple days. Reasonably so. “What are you doing here? Because technically we’re not supposed to be seen together.”

“And?” He leaned in closer, a smile on his lips. “I kinda want to make this official.”

“Your parents don’t care; mine do. So does my…oh, dear _God_. Archer, you better go.” She caught sight of William walking towards them. But he’d already spotted the stranger, because he started running. “Never mind. It’s too late. Don’t say anything; just smile. Hey, Willie.”

“Hello, Elizabeth.” William drew up next to them, not even breathing hard. He extended his hand to Archer. “I’m Will. Her sister, and I’m definitely bigger than you, buddy, so watch it.”

“I’m Archer, and I’m sorry if you think I’m gonna hurt her.”

“Oh, you probably won’t hurt her. It’s just that…” William swallowed hard. “You don’t really know who she is.”

“I do.” Archer smiled. “She’s awesome.”

They were just digging bigger holes for themselves. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. _God, help._ This shouldn’t be happening. She should be introducing her boyfriend to her siblings in the Queen mansion. Her mom and dad would have known about it before, because they wouldn’t be paranoid about everything. “Uh, Archer, I think you’d better head home. Our parents will be―”

“Naw, you should come to the house. The kids are out playing somewhere else, so you should come in and grab some refreshments.” William whapped her kind of boyfriend on the back and steered him to the house. “If you’re gonna date my sister, I gotta know everything about you.”

Ellie clenched her jaw. “William Q―”

He glanced back to glare at her. He knew what he was doing, didn’t he? Mom and Dad would be home soon, and if Archer was there, it would expose the entire secret. And the full-blown fight between her and her dad would happen. It was a fight that was a few years coming, and she didn’t want to do it right now.

“Archer, maybe you should go home.” She caught up to them. “You could always come back another time.”

“No, I’d love to. Plus, your brother hasn’t finished me off yet, so I guess I’m kinda cool, right?”

William rolled his eyes, but mustered up a grin. “Let’s just keep walking.”

They reached the house, and there weren’t any cars in the driveway. At least she would have a few minutes to come up with an excuse that would quickly be put to rest when William spoke up. Oliver would believe him, not her.

“So this is Archer, huh?” William let out a low whistle. “I was expecting someone more Hollywoodish, not a guy who looks like that.”

“He’s nice, now shut up and feel guilty for turning me in.”

“Well, the fact that you view it as getting turned in means that you’re probably doing something wrong.”

“You know what, William?” She stopped on the steps and clenched her fists. “You are a jerk.”

“Maybe, but I’m doing what’s best for the family. Now let’s just make sure Archer stays until Mom and Dad get home, okay?” He stalked ahead of her and into the house. Ellie turned around and smiled at Archer. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want. Willie isn’t that scary, and he won’t be too heartbrok…”

“What’s the problem?” Archer turned and shielded his eyes with his hand. “Who’s that?”

“You know who they are, buddy.” She refrained from spewing several naughty words at her brother when he stepped out of the house. Felicity came out of the garage first, squinting at them. She disappeared again, and twenty seconds later, Oliver appeared. Ellie took a deep breath as they walked towards them. This wasn’t going to be good, and if there was a match around, she would light herself on fire.

“What’s he doing here?” Oliver dropped his suitcase to the ground and gestured to Archer. The boy―bless his heart―extended his hand and smiled.

“I’m Archer. We―”

“Well aware of that. Now would you like to explain what you are doing here?”

“Uh…”

“Sweetheart.” Felicity patted Oliver’s chest. “Guys, this isn’t a great time to do this, and Archer, as cute as you are, should not really be here.”

“No, this is what we needed.”

Ellie closed her eyes when William spoke. _Here we go._ She could only hope and pray that her parents were in good and understanding moods.

“What do you mean this is what we needed?” Oliver’s gaze switched between William and Ellie, and then Archer. His eyes darkened and he took two steps forward towards the boy who took two steps backward. “Alright, buddy. You are welcome to leave whenever you want. Or can you stand here and explain why you are visiting my daughter.”

“Who is twenty years old,” Ellie muttered.

“I don’t care how old you are. Maybe in a different situation―”

“You wouldn’t be interrogating a guy I like?”

“Okay. I’m going.” Archer raised his hands in the air and started walking backwards. “For the sake of all of us. But know that I really like your daughter, and she’s really nice. Maybe if you actually saw that…”

Ellie scrunched her nose. _Wrong words, my friend._

“I know my daughter quite well, thank you very much, and I don’t think I need a moronic teenage boy telling me how she acts. So _scram_.”

When he disappeared over the hill, Oliver whirled around, his eyes dark. Angry. Oh, dear God he was angry. Felicity too. Her mom, usually the one who stood up for all of them when their dad got a little overreactive, didn’t say a thing, only crossed her arms and glared.

“D-Dad, I can explain.”

“She really can’t.”

“William, can you shut up?”

“You will both have the opportunity to explain your sides of the story, but Ellie, there’s no amount of sweet talking that will get you out of this.” He took a deep breath, but it didn’t seem to help with anything. “What were you thinking?”

“She wasn’t.” William crossed his arms and shot her an ugly look. “Last night I caught her talking to him on the phone at two in the morning.”

“You little…” she clenched her fists and moved towards him, but her dad’s arm caught her and pulled her back to her place.

“You were…talking to him? On the phone?”

And she’d endangered them all while doing it. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you realize how dangerous that is? Someone could track your voice and we’re all dead. Dead, Ellie, all because you had a crush on some kid who is a little―”

“I get it, Dad. You don’t like him, and you’ll never like any guy who tries to hit on me. You’ve avoided it because you’ve kept us in this hell hole for two years, and you hid us all from the world for years before that! But…” she winced when Oliver’s face fell. “I-I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Point taken, and I get it. I’ve kept everybody here because I thought that it was the easiest way to keep everybody safe. Maybe it wasn’t. But you can’t go and talk to boys in the middle of the night. Not until we get this all taken care of.”

“And when will that be? Because for all we know, it could be another five years!”

“It’s not going to be five years.” Felicity squeezed Oliver’s arm. “We’re getting it done.”

“And no offense, Mom, but I’m having a hard time trusting any of this. Aunt Thea’s missing, and clearly you didn’t get much information. So how are we supposed to believe that we’re gonna get out of this?”

“In half an hour, I’m going to Starling. Maybe you’d like to come with me and solve the problems yourself.” With that, he brushed past her. The door rattled when he slammed it. Felicity took off her glasses and wiped her eyes.

“I don’t know what to say. About the tattletaling or the fact that you’ve been sneaking around.”

“I wasn’t sneaking around. I was―”

“Honey, if you’re calling someone at one in the morning, in any situation, you’re sneaking around. And next time, you need to watch what you’re saying to your dad.” She put her glasses back on and climbed the stairs. “Lord knows that’s exactly what he doesn’t need right now.”

Right now she didn’t feel bad. Instead, her words almost made her want to storm upstairs and yell at him again. Ellie jumped to the ground and stormed towards the barn. No one called after her. Why would they? She’d been a jerk. But she didn’t care. Later she would. But the stress and frustration of these past two years had finally caught up to her. To all of them. She could see it in her dad’s eyes; the way he slumped. Felicity couldn’t hide her exhaustion.

But it wasn’t what scared her.

If they took down the Bratva and got to go home, would they be all too damaged to ever be okay again? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And.....here's the start! Of angst. LOL It's some good angst, though. At least my siblings think so. If I had an extra five hours in my day, I could rewrite this chapter and make a million times better, but I don't. But I hope you enjoyed it! It was fun to write a different kind of Oliver, and 'Russian mobster wife' Felicity. We'll see a lot of William and Ellie coming up as well. :) 
> 
> Comments, kudos, etc. are always appreciated!!! They keep me going! :)


	6. Chapter 6

Oliver stepped off the plane and surveyed his surroundings. The air smelled different here than in France. Or maybe that was the leftover hangover that still made him dizzy. Why did people drink? He could barely handle one of these. Or maybe it was the after effects of what happened earlier with Ellie. _You have to focus._ He needed his head for this. The problems that his daughter had caused―and what they had both said―could be dealt with later.

He came around the corner and spotted Diggle. “Hey, man.”

“Oliver.” Diggle enveloped him in a hug. “It’s good to see you again.”

“You as well. You look good. In the dark at least.”

His bodyguard chuckled and steered him to a car. “You look a little tired.”

“I actually have a hangover at the moment.”

“Wow. You’re in worse shape than I thought.”

“It’s really not what you think. Felicity and I went to Russia and I had a little too much to drink.”

“All I can say is wow, and I don’t want to know. Though I believe congratulations are in order. How far along is she?”

“About ten weeks. And thank you.”

“Are the kids excited?”

“You have no idea.”

“Oliver.” Diggle pulled out onto the highway and glanced at him. “You okay, man? There’s a lot of stuff going on, but there’s a reason to be happier than you are right now.”

There was a reason Annie hired the guy. Oliver shrugged. “Everything’s falling apart around me. Turns out my kids are harboring bitterness towards me and Felicity because we’ve kept them at that house for two years. Which I get. I really get it. But I didn’t think it was that bad. Before I left, it got revealed that Ellie’s been sneaking around and calling a guy. Named Archer.” When Diggle laughed, Oliver glared. “It’s not funny.”

“It’s just a little ironic.”

“Yeah, well, it’s ironic that two years ago it was William causing the problems, and now it’s her.”

“It’s nothing to worry about. She’s about twenty. She deserves a guy.”

“The problem is that this is a weird situation. If the Bratva are looking for us, and it’s clear they are, and they get ahold of that connection, we’re all dead.”

“Has Felicity told you yet that you’re overreacting?”

“This isn’t funny, John.”

“Maybe not, but it sounds to me like you’re making a slightly concerning situation bigger than it should be. Just my opinion. I don’t have any kids yet, but I know you. And Ellie’s just trying to be normal.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you just spend the past three minutes complaining to me?”

Oliver sighed and looked out the window. Starling City at night was always his favorite place to be. “I guess I don’t want to admit that she’s growing up. More like is fully grown up. I’m just too stubborn to notice.”

“The first step to healing is admitting you have a problem.”

“I guess so.” He mumbled the words, letting his mind wander to moments earlier in his life. At Ellie’s age, he had kids already. She didn’t seem ready for something like that yet, but he could’ve at least given her a chance for a life like that. But, of course, he didn’t. Because he became a member of the Bratva. There were a lot of things he deprived himself of, and his kids of because of the choices he made.

William’s words echoed through his head. _I forgave myself, so you gotta forgive yourself too._

Oliver shifted in his seat and eyed Diggle. The darkness couldn’t hide the hint of a ring on his finger. He smiled. “So you and Lyla, huh?”

“Oh, that? We got hitched not too long after you guys left. Figured that if something would happen to either of us, we’d rather be married.”

“Good job.”

“How have you and Felicity been?”

“Clearly it’s been great.”

“And clearly you’ve been hanging out with her too much. And we’re here.”

Oliver opened the door and stepped out into the frigid air. He grabbed his duffel bag that contained his weapons and headed to the doors that he didn’t remember installing. “I think there’s a lot of things that I’m gonna need to catch up on.”

“You’ll be impressed with what we did with the place.” 

“Barry was a terrible decorator.”

Diggle chuckled, but paused before he typed in the code. “Y’know, Oliver, I will say this. You are a very different man than the one who left. I mean that in a good way. And if it means anything to you, you’re a much better man than you were ten years ago.”

“That does mean something. So thank you.” Oliver smiled and then gestured to the keypad. “I’m curious about the terrible things you did to my lair.” When he stepped down into the place that used to barely have lighting, he let out a laugh. “Wow. Dig, this place is sweet. Nice job.”

“Oliver!” Roy came around the corner, carrying a little girl. Oliver’s heart twisted as he dropped his bag and moved towards them. Laila kept her head buried against her father’s chest, but she caught his gaze. And smiled. A little bit.

“Hey, Roy.” He gave him a hug, careful not to jar his niece. “Hi Laila.”

“Sweetie, this is your uncle Oliver.” Roy pointed at him and then kissed his daughter’s hair. “He’s gonna help us find Mommy.” She perked up at the last word, but then buried her face in Roy’s t-shirt again. “She’s a little shy, but she warms up pretty quickly. It’s good to see you again. Congrats on the baby.”

“Thank you. And congratulations to you as well. It was rough not knowing if I had a niece or nephew.” Oliver reached out and squeezed Laila’s foot. She shrieked and gave him a tiny kick. “She’s cute.”

“Thanks. But enough of this. There’s other things we need to discuss. Honey, do you think you can lay in bed and wait for Daddy?” Her lips puckered, prepared to cry. Roy sighed. “I’ll be right back.”

Oliver nodded and turned to look at the cases. There were two more than there were when he left. “So you and Roy are the vigilantes now. Got a name?”

“He’s Arsenal. I’m Spartan. Cisco named us.”

“Maybe he’ll give me a new name.”

“You thinkin’ about coming back?”

Oliver sighed and sank down to a chair. “I don’t know, John. I do miss this. Not the killing and the darkness. But the feeling after I saved someone. I haven’t felt that way for a long time.” He hadn’t put the hood on since he got Annie back from the Bratva. Would he ever get a chance to wear it again? “But I don’t know. It was nice to be away from it all and just be with my family.”

“Maybe you should make it a family business.” Diggle sat down opposite him and looked up at the suits. “I think what you miss is being a hero.”

“I was hardly a hero.”

“Maybe not to yourself, but to others you were. To your son. He said that on record at your trial. Maybe once this is all over, you can come and be a hero again. But then again, you don’t need a mask to be a hero. Or to get the thrill of saving someone.”

Oliver let out a laugh void of humor. “Maybe.”

“There’s an opening at the Mayor’s office.”

“Now that I’m definitely not doing.” He stood up when Roy walked in. “Laila all good?”

“I think so. It’s not too hard to get her to sleep. The problem is getting her to stay asleep. Maybe you’ll have some pointers.” Roy sat down at the computers and drew up a folder. It opened into a hundred pieces, giving them all the information that the team had dug up since Thea disappeared. “Most of this is Cisco’s work. He’d get us stuff, and we’d try to run the leads down. Not much of it was successful.”

“Well, Felicity did some digging on her own, and got some stuff that will be helpful.” Oliver scooted Roy’s hands away from the keyboard and typed in the address that he memorized. “This is the warehouse that the Bratva operates from in Starling. They’ve been there for a while, and we can probably get in there pretty easily. Especially with me.” When they just stared at him, with open mouths, he shrugged. “What? Felicity’s amazing.”

“You got more information in one day than we got in four months.” Roy brushed his hand over his eyes. “If only we found you guys sooner.”

“Listen, buddy…I’m sorry that we weren’t here to keep her safe.”

“I understand why you needed to be in hiding. Part of me wonders why you’re here now. You and Thea didn’t have much of a relationship for years, and you’ve got a family now.”

“She’s my sister, Roy. There’s a lot of things I would do to protect her.” In that way, the Bratva was correct. He tapped the computer, which brought up the information the team had collected. “Anything worthwhile here that I should know about? We didn’t get much over the phone.”

“I don’t think so, but we got it all on a drive that you can take home so Felicity can comb through it if we don’t…”

“We’re gonna find her.” He pocketed the USB and swiped through the photos of right after the abduction. “No prints, no form of break in recorded?”

Diggle joined them at the desk. “We didn’t get any prints, but whoever did it went through a window.”

Roy glanced up at Oliver. “Is that helpful in any way?”

“Only if we had a database of Bratva agents.” When they gave him weird looks, Oliver sighed. “Everyone does everything differently. That’s why there’s so many agents, and it’s why they didn’t kill me for ticking them off a long time ago. There’s things that I can do that other people can’t, and vice versa. But the database is unhackable.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because the Bratva isn’t a fan of anyone with the name of Felicity Smoak or anyone like her going through their stuff, so they store all their information in several unknown locations in Russia.”

“Well, that’s great. Guess no one can hack one of those,” Roy grumbled. “Anything else you have that could help?”

“Only me. Which means we need to get to work. Felicity…kind of taught me how to hack, which means I can kind of run―can we just contact Cisco?”

“Sounds like a great idea.” Roy clicked an icon on the computer that they hadn’t had two years ago. “He’s usually up at this hour, since he appears to have no life.”

Oliver crossed his arms and smirked. “Still?”

“And you’re still a jerk.” Cisco’s voice came over the computer. “Hey, Roy and Dig. Not gonna say hi to you, Oliver. But happy to hear you’re back on American soil. France has to suck. What can I do for you at three in the morning?”

“Oliver’s got some information that you can help us with. Can you like, uh, hack into our computer and―oh. You already did it.” Roy rolled his eyes. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Be as awesome as Felicity is.” For almost a minute, they could only hear clicking. Then a document and a surveillance camera showed up on their computers. “Okay, so on the document is information about the building. It’s not much, but it gives you an idea on how long they’ve had that place. The other is a surveillance camera about a mile from the place. That should also give you an idea of who is there, because I can now run plates. Not that those will give you much, but it’s a slight advantage.”

“Great. Thanks, Cisco.” Oliver took three steps to his bag to retrieve his weapons before the computer nerd cleared his throat. “What?”

“I’m not as experienced at this as some of you, but I know how some of this works. And you can’t go after the Bratva tonight. There’s a thing called sleep, and you’ll need it. So does Barry, and I’m really tired of waking him up all the time. So go sleep, and you can take these guys down in the morning. Talk to you later.”

Oliver rubbed his eyes and let out a sigh. “Cisco’s right. We’re not gonna do anything tonight, especially me. I need my sleep. But we’re gonna get Thea back. I promise.” He squeezed Roy’s shoulder and walked to the living quarters. They’d expanded this part too. “Which room can I have?”

“The one on the far right. Ignore the mess. There’s lots of weapons in there.”

“I could care less. I’ll see you in the morning.” An alarm clock could be necessary. He would end up looking like the old man who slept until one in the afternoon if he didn’t. Oliver tossed his clothes off and dropped to the bed. It was softer than the one at the farm house, but as he stretched out, his hand touched nothing but sheets. _You’re fine._ Felicity was safe in France, probably sleeping with Annie and Piper. And he was here. Without anyone to sleep with.

He was being pathetic.

But telling himself that didn’t stop his heartbeat from picking up and sending his brain on a trail it shouldn’t be on. With a groan, he rolled onto his stomach and grabbed his phone. Felicity had wiped it of most things to avoid anyone tracking it, but he had the photos. Some of them were blurry and stupid―Annie liked taking pictures of the animals―but they made him smile right now.

One morning Piper had taken the phone and took pictures of everybody. There was one of Ellie and Harper milking the cows, Felicity and Annie feeding the goats, the boys laying in the sun with their shirts off―one of the days they decided they didn’t need to do anything―and Oliver in the kitchen. Barry would kill for the epic selfie he and Piper took.

As he went through the pictures, his heartrate slowed down, and in half an hour, he could breathe again. Oliver set the phone on the ground and dropped his head on the pillow. How had he slept by himself for five years? No wonder he had nightmares. _It’s only a few days._ He yanked the covers over his head and muttered, “You’ll live.” He stretched his hand over to the other side and closed his eyes. It would only be a few days. Then he could go home.

To his wife.

 

He woke up to crying. Screaming. Oliver slid on his sweatpants and went out into the lair. Roy sat on the floor, rocking Laila back and forth. A bottle sat next to them, along with a blanket and toys. His brother-in-law looked up at him and mustered out a good morning in between screams. He looked ready to fall over and sleep for a month. Oliver squatted down next to them. “Hey, Roy? Why don’t you let me take her for a bit. Go sleep.”

“No offense but―”

“Give me Laila. Go sleep. You need it, and I’m not taking you anywhere if you look like that.”

“You sure you can handle her?”

In response to that, Oliver took Laila from Roy and stood up. Her screaming intensified, but he turned her away from her dad. “She’ll be fine, bud. _Go_.” He walked to the end of the lair, bouncing her. When a door shut, he chuckled and spun Laila around to face him. “Hey, sweetie. It’s your uncle Oliver. I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise.” He made a face that caused her to giggle. “Yeah, you gonna be happy now? Uh, huh?”

He hummed a song as he swayed them back and forth. Laila gradually relaxed in his arms, and in a few minutes, she put her head on his shoulder. He chuckled and went to take a seat at the computers. With one arm wrapped around her, he drew up the police reports. The team had been busy, even if there were some mistakes along the way. How did Roy survive some of these heists? For the first while, he could have been one of those worst vigilantes who ever lived, but eventually he figured it out.

He and Dig saved a lot of people, which was more than he could say.

At seven, Laila lifted her head to look at him. She put her thumb in her mouth and just stared at him. He leaned back in the chair and tickled underneath her chin, laughing when she burst into giggles. “You are ticklish, Miss Harper. Uh huh, you can’t hide it.” She tried to dodge him, but he caught her in his arms. “You have to give me a hug first.”

She made a face.

“I won’t bite. I promise.”

With a fit of giggles, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Oliver smiled. Apparently he still had it after all these years. Comforting a three-day old baby could be a different story, but once they got to this age…Felicity could get a break. He kept Laila on him and continued to search through the database. Barry had helped a lot, but according to the files, he’d dealt with a lot too. Zoom turned out to be a big threat.

“And here I thought the old retired man would sleep ‘til noon.”

Oliver looked back at Diggle. “We have a rooster.” His eyebrows shot up. “And other animals. Plus, Laila started crying which woke me up.”

“You live on a farm?”

“Horses, cows, goats. Everything. Don’t you dare laugh.”

“I’m not. It’s just hard to imagine you milking a cow.”

“Oh, I’m terrible at it. Ellie and Harper usually do that. I do the heavy lifting.”

“So that’s how you’ve stayed in shape.”

“There’s still some demons to work out.”

“A lot less.”

His gaze fell on the glass case that contained his leather suit. That had been what kept him together for years. Maybe he didn’t need that anymore to stay sane. He had Felicity and the kids to take care of that. He turned back to the computers and tapped one of the more interesting files. “You have done some crazy work in the past couple years. Surprised you’re not dead.”

“Yeah, sometimes I wonder how we’re not. We had help.”

Oliver glanced at Star Lab’s case files. Apparently the Flash had learned a few things along the way. “Barry’s done a good job. For the most part.” He winced at the file about the sandman they killed. But who could he judge? He’d done far worse. “How’s Donna?”

“Still mad that her daughter disappeared without telling her anything, but she’s okay.”

“The Bratva hasn’t gone after her?”

“I think they thought that they could find you. And eventually, they realized the best way to draw you out was to kidnap your sister who has a one-year-old.”

“They know how to do it. I’ll give that to them. What do you normally do during the day?”

“Don’t really know. The cows need to be milked though.”

“Very funny.” He’d take milking cows over being here. Though Laila with her arms around his neck, he didn’t feel so lonely. The voices didn’t talk so much. “Does Roy sleep much?”

“He’s like any man who lost his wife.”

“I know how that feels like.” He stood up and shifted Laila in his arms. She’d fallen asleep, but wouldn’t let go of him. Oliver looked down at her and chuckled. “Annie always told me I couldn’t put a baby to sleep to save my life.”

“I think she would be proud of you, Oliver. In more ways than one.”

He knew that. Sometimes, when he couldn’t sleep and Felicity was flopped over him, snoring, he thought about his first wife. He loved Felicity, but he still loved Annie too. Every now and then he could hear her laugh; see her smile. She was proud of him. He’d been knocked to his knees, and, with Felicity’s help, he figured out how to stand again.

An hour later, Roy came around the corner. Oliver looked up from the computer and spun his chair around. “Hey, Laila, look who’s up?”

“Hey, baby.” He lifted her into his arms and gave her a kiss. “Did you enjoy Oliver? Yeah? Probably more than I’ve ever enjoyed him?” The last sentence was said with a laugh, and his voice turned from the baby talk. “Seriously, thank you for taking her for a while. That’s the best sleep I’ve had in a long time. Was she okay?”

“Took a nap, and we were just finishing up a police report. She was good.”

“Or you’re just insanely good at taking care of kids.”

“It’s been awhile.”

“It’ll be good practice. Congrats, man. On the baby. I’m sure Thea will be excited to find out she gets to be an aunt again.”

Oliver stood up and stretched. “Roy, we’re gonna get her back.”

“At least when Annie died you knew she was gone.” His eyes closed, and he shook his head. “I can’t stop thinking about what she might miss. What she has missed. Laila would never know her mom. I would be a widower.”

All because of him. Oliver shook off the condemnation and clapped a hand on Roy’s shoulder. “Don’t make the same mistake I did and give up hope. Thea’s gonna come back to us, and in the meantime, you have to stay positive. For Laila’s sake, and for your sake. Trust me; I would know. So let’s get to work on finding her.”

                                                            *******

She didn’t feel bad. No, there was no reason to feel bad for anything. Ellie let out a long sigh and brushed her hair off her forehead, wincing when a few of the soap suds got in her eyes. Served her right. _You did nothing wrong._ Only told her dad exactly how she felt for once in her life. She only wanted to live a life; there wasn’t anything wrong with that. Right? She turned around at the sound of the door opening, but whirled back to her dishes. William. She’d rather eat cow manure than talk to him right now.

“Mom needs a couple things from Martha and David’s house.” He set something on the table. “She wrote a list.”

“Tell her I’ll go over when I finish dishes.”

“Sure.” The door opened, but it didn’t close. She kept her eyes on the dirty plate. If he wanted to say something, he would.

“I didn’t do it to tick you off. I just did it to keep us safe.”

“There wasn’t any bit of little brother in you saying ‘oh, why don’t I get my big sister in trouble since I’m always the one in trouble’?”

“No.” The door shut, and William moved closer to her. “Actually, I did it because I know what you’re doing.”

“And what is that?”

“You’re acting like I did.”

“For heaven’s sakes.” She pulled her hands out of the water and turned around to face him. “Will, you have got to stop pulling the ‘it’s my fault’ stuff. None of this was your fault. We’ve been over that a million times, and I’ve heard you tell Dad a million times to forgive himself because you have.”

“But you think I don’t lay in bed some nights and remember that I called Captain Lance and told him what Dad told us?” William lifted his hands in the air. “Or how I try to keep myself from tracking all the things that happened _after_ I did it? Because I do. No matter how much I’ve let go of it. I did all of that because I was angry. I was angry at Dad for lying, for avoiding us for years, but you seem angry at…everything.”

“I’m just angry about where we are.”

“And there’s a little part of you saying that―”

“No, you know what that little part of me is saying?” She grabbed the list from the table and stuffed it into her jeans. “It’s telling me that maybe if I start a friendship with one person in our radius, and hang out with him a bit, and talk to him on the phone, I can have just an inch of something normal. So unless you wanna get punched, because that’s _exactly_ how our family works now, I would back away so I can get out of here and get some bread from an elderly couple because our mom is too scared to go into town!”

“Everything okay in there?” Clayton sat in the yard, making arrows. Because of course he would be doing that. “If you broke a dish over Will’s head, I wouldn’t be too heartbroken.”

“No, Clay-Clay, I did not. I need to go over to Martha and David’s house for a bit. Do the girls have the horses out?” It would give her more time away. 

“They’re giving them baths, so I’d take the truck.”

She nodded, and ran to the garage. Better to get out of here for a bit before William tattletaled on her again about their fight. Though this time, he had a foot in it, so he would be getting himself into trouble too. Maybe he didn’t care. Or maybe he did. About the safety of the family. Neither of them could lose anyone else. A tinge of guilt hit her. William thought he owed the Queens something. Especially Oliver, and rightfully so, if she were being honest. And she owed them all their safety.

But she wouldn’t compromise anything with a few phone calls to a twenty-year-old boy. And for that, she didn’t care what her parents or her brother said. Or what the rest of her siblings thought. They all heard the fight on the porch yesterday, and most of them, besides Clayton, had avoided her since then.

She parked in the side lot and stepped around the side of the garage. “Hi Martha!” She lifted her hand to wave, but their old friend wasn’t stooped over in the garden, meaning she would be in the kitchen. Here went most of her afternoon, because she would feel guilty leaving an old woman canning by herself. Unless David decided to help her, but she’d still be stuck here no matter what. Ellie double-checked she had the list and ran up to the porch. They’d known them long enough to not knock, so she pushed open the door. “Martha? Dav…”

Her heartrate spiked.

Everything in her body tingled and then went numb as she stepped into the house and stared at the two bloody bodies lying on the ground. There was no need to check for a pulse. They were dead.

Just like they all were.

The Bratva had found them. 

All because of her.

Because she wanted a life.

And now none of them would have the opportunity to ever do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the ending. (Not really, though.) Next chapter will be next Friday!!! Thank you so much for the encouragement, comments, and kudos. It really keeps me going!!!
> 
> Also, quick update on Through the Eyes of a Child: I haven't gotten much of a chance to write it lately, but I promise it will be up soon!! Not this weekend though because it's my 18th birthday. :)


	7. Chapter 7

She couldn’t do anything. The Bratva was here. To kill them all.

Because of her.

They’d tracked the phone calls to Archer. Which meant that he was in danger too.

_I’m so sorry_.

Funny how William got a second chance. But she wouldn’t. Ellie reached her hand back, half expecting to feel an assassin’s body. She hit air. There was a gun in the truck. Possibly more. If she could get home in time…she could at least get a warning to the rest of them. If only her dad was here. He would know what to do. She squeezed her eyes shut and backed out of the house. This is what he’d warned them about.

Death.

She sprinted to the truck and gunned it down the road. Ten minutes. That’s how long it would take to get back to the house. To maybe save her family’s lives. Tears streamed down her face as she neared their farm. What would she tell Oliver when he got back? That she killed their family?

That, this time, none of this was his fault? How could he ever forgive her?

                                                            ******

_Dear baby girl (or boy, if you’re asking your brothers), today has been a rough day. For all of us. There’s been crying, and most of it has come from me. There was a big fight. Not between your dad and I, but between William and Ellie. To be honest, I don’t know who to agree with, and I’m usually the one who knows those things. I’m sure there’s a clear right and wrong about this situation but I don’t really know anything anymore._

Felicity pulled the blanket tighter around her as the wind picked up. She should shut the window, but her body decided it would rather be cold than get up and do a simple task. It ached today. When she got up to go pee this morning, everything swirled and black spots appeared, which sent her to the ground. She’d done her best to act normal, but every few minutes, the dizziness would appear. The kids sent her to the room, which she didn’t argue about. It was a welcomed time of rest for her, even if she needed to throw up constantly.  

She looked at her tablet again. _I think you know that there’s some problems, because you don’t seem to be very happy today, which is making me unhappy. But it’s okay. Your daddy will be home in a couple times with hopefully some good news. We have a lot to discuss, including you._ She smiled as she put her hands on her stomach. It wasn’t much yet, but sometimes, she thought she could see a little bulge.

She hit ‘save’ and set her tablet on the bed next to her. Oliver’s side. The little girls slept with her last night. All her idea. She didn’t want to be lonely, even though she felt bad being warm and cozy while her husband slept on the floor of the lair by himself. Or maybe they had beds there. Either way, he was alone, and he didn’t like to be that way. It brought on more nightmares, and more hours of lying in bed, wide awake, thinking about everything that had gone wrong or could go wrong.

“Hey, you can’t take that! That’s mine!”

She closed her eyes and sighed when Annie yelled something about sharing. A goat spoke. Loudly. Their animals liked giving opinions on everything. Much like her and Oliver’s children. The fighting seemed to get worse over time, which led to her wondering what would become of them when they returned home. Would that even be able to function as a family again? They were used to doing chores in the morning and in the evening, and spending most of their time outside, doing farmer things. Living in a mansion with maids? They would be bored and the fighting would get even worse.

Something beeped on her tablet. And nothing ever beeped on her tablet. “Calm, Felicity.” Maybe Cisco decided to send her an email. She grabbed it. Stared. “No. No, no, no. That’s not…” It wasn’t possible. Not— _get out_. They had to get out. Now, or they were all dead, even if though they might as well already be. Felicity tossed back her covers, and tried to slide out of bed, but she lost her footing and crashed to the floor.

What could she do? Save the entire Queen family? That wasn’t any time. Not everyone.

“ _Mom_!” William’s scream made her let out a sob. _Please, God, no. Not now._ Not without Oliver. “Mom, we need to get out of here!” He burst into the room, holding a cocked gun in his hands. “ _Fel-ic-ity_!”

“I’m…” her voice stopped working. What good would it do? The door burst open and William ran in, holding a cocked gun in his hands. He threw the gun to the ground and dropped to his knees and dragged her to her feet. “The Bratva…they killed Martha and David. Ellie found them. We gotta—”

“There’s a bomb.” Her legs gave way again as the terror enveloped her with its dark tentacles. “Oh, _God_ , there’s a bomb!”

“Don’t move.” He lowered her to the bed and ran to the window. Screamed something to Annie and Piper. Something about getting in the truck. Felicity typed as fast as she could, sending a distress code to Cisco, but nothing worked. The Bratva blocked everything. She couldn’t stop the bomb, couldn’t call for help.

They were dead. They had three minutes—tops—to get out of the vicinity of the bomb.

“Mom, we’re gonna get out of here.” William lifted her into his arms and tramped out into the hallway to the stairs. “Annie and Piper are going to the truck. Ellie’s…” he grunted, “getting Clayton and Harper.”

“No, no, let me go. You go. There’s not enough time.” She tried to get out of his grip but he wouldn’t let her go. “William, _go_!”

His pace quickened down the stairs, stumbling at the bottom before righting himself. Clayton burst through the door and grabbed the bow and quiver off the wall. “I got her!” He tossed the weapons to his brother and slipped his arm around her back. “Sorry, Mom. This is gonna hurt.”

“Clayton—”

“Shut up! You’re coming with us!” He jerked her through the door, but her hand smashed against the side, sending her tablet sliding back into the house. They both looked back, Felicity trying to pull them towards the tablet, but he yanked them down the steps. Her ankles banged against the stairs. She cried out, but they kept going. William ran ahead of them with the bow loaded, but when she fell again, and this time, Clayton couldn’t get her up, he tossed it to Harper and got on the other side of them.

They would never get out of here in time. “Just…go.”  

“Ellie, get the truck closer!”

That was the last thing she heard.

                                                ******

“You ready?” Oliver turned to the left to give Roy a once-over. This was almost dumb; not even knowing the skill level of his partner. But they needed to get this done, even if led to a dead-end. Barry would get here as soon as possible, which would likely be late. This was their window to get into the Bratva headquarters, according to . “I need you to have a clear head, and you can’t go off on an angry tirade at anyone until I say so.”

“I know how to deal with my anger. Which is why we need to go now.”

Oliver pressed his com. “What’s it look like inside?”

“A few bodies in the main room. That’s all we have.” Diggle sighed. “Oliver, are you sure you’ll be okay? It’s been a while since you’ve done this.”

“Milking cows is a good form of exercise.” He turned off the com and motioned for Roy to follow him. His partner slipped a chip onto the access code, which opened the door for them. Either the Bratva knew they were coming or they didn’t think they would get this far. “Remember. They have guns.”

“Noted. This is a fairly empty place, don’t you think?”

“They’re good at disguising things.” He walked in front of Roy, more confident in his reflexes then the guy whose wife was kidnapped. They found a storage room filled with guns, but no guards as they neared the entrance to what appeared to be a giant room with people they could interrogate.

Torture.

Oliver slipped a chip onto the nine-number code box and stepped back. “As soon as this thing opens, there’s going to be bullets.” He sent Roy a hard look. “That means any one of those could kill you. You got that?”

“Uh huh.”

_Please let this go our way._

Something beeped.

“Get down!” Roy tackled him to the ground as something exploded behind him. Oliver got them both to a hiding spot as bullets rattled the steel door where they’d been standing. It was a trap. Dom’s wife had given Felicity fake information. Which meant they were both dead if he didn’t find a way to get them out of here.

“Stay right here.”

“What?” Roy grabbed his arm and yanked him back to a squatting position. “You can’t go out there.”

“It’s either I take down those men, or we’re dead. Take your pick.” He pressed the com to talk to Dig, but only static reached his ears. “They cut off our communication. So. Do. Not. Move. You die, I have to adopt another kid, and seven kids are enough for me. Got it?” When Roy nodded, he loaded his bow and stood up halfway. The first arrow took out one guy, and the explosive arrow took out the other two. “Let’s go.” If they had a chance at getting out of here, they needed to go before the next assault hit.

Roy hopped up and lead the way. Oliver kept his bow loaded, as he walked behind him. Just before they reached the door, pain exploded in his thigh. His leg gave out. _Frack._ A bullet racketed off the door and smashed into the ground a few feet from them. This is not how he wanted it to end. His partner fired an arrow at the corner, but the bullets kept coming. Oliver rolled over to his back and loaded his bow.

Something swished, and then jerked him off the ground in a painful split second.

Barry.

When he slammed down onto a table, he opened his eyes. Roy landed on the ground next to him. They were safe. Oliver dropped his head back and muttered, “You’re late.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I was super busy with something. One of the disadvantages of being a speedster. Someone always needs your help.”

“Try being one of us normal people.”

“I see you’re still your normal, ornery, grumpy, unthankful self.”

“Oh, I’m grateful you got us out of there. What I’m not happy about is that I have a flachette in my leg.”

Barry moved closer, his hand outstretched and his mouth in a disgusted grump. “That looks like it hurts.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Should I take it out?”

Roy got up and walked to the medical cabinets. “Maybe I should―”

“I got it taken care of.”

Oliver gritted his teeth and grabbed the edge of the table to keep himself from hurting his friend. Barry used his super speed to yank out the little arrow, but it still left a stream of pain that shot up and down his body. He leaned forward and muttered a string of swear words. “Oooooh, God. That hurt.”

Roy set a bottle of antiseptic on the table. “Should I put something on that or are we team ‘not do anything and get infections’?”

He sat up and grabbed the bottle. “I’ll take care of this. I can only take so many people worried about me.”

“Imagine how I felt when you shot me in the back. Twice.”

“You gotta get over that, Barry. It was four years ago.” He used one of the cloths lying on the table next to him to disinfect the wound. When it was clean, he swung his legs over the table and stood up. _Double frack._ First a hangover, and now this. Two things he didn’t need. “Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve had an arrow in my leg.”

“It honestly wigs me out a little that you’ve gotten hit with so many arrows that you have to specify which body part.” Diggle came around the corner. “I was on my way to the warehouse because the coms went out. You okay, Oliver?”

“Never better.” Besides the need to throw up.

Barry crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “What happened out there?”

“It was a trap. The information was wrong, or they knew we were coming.”

“What do you mean by ‘the information was wrong?”

Oliver shrugged off the top of the suit and went to work getting his holsters off. Every movement stung. He glanced up at Diggle. “When we were in Russia, we hit a dead end, and when I was…sleeping, Felicity used the computers at the hotel to get information. From the dark web. So either she was wrong or the Bratva knew we were looking for something so they gave it to us. And I’m going with the latter because Felicity’s never wrong.”

“So we’re back to square one with finding my wife.” Roy slammed his bow back into its case and slumped to the showers. Oliver sank to a chair, biting back a yell when he put pressure on the wound, and sighed.

“Our hands are tied. The next option is to infiltrate the only Bratva headquarters I know of in Russia and hope that someone has answers there. The only reason I hadn’t imagined doing it sooner was the knowledge that as soon as I step into one of those places, they will know. And they will kill Thea.” He let his head fall back against the chair and closed his eyes. Time to ‘start his own pity party’ as Felicity would say. “My wife tells me all the time that it’s not my fault that this is happening. That the Bratva are the ones to blame. Which is fine. I can accept that. But the problem is that none of this would have happened if I’d just done what they wanted. I literally did everything wrong in their eyes, and they want to kill me and my family for it.”

Barry almost said something―so did Dig―but nothing came out.

Oliver rubbed his hands over his face. “I’d never tell Felicity this, but it would be over if I turned myself in. Just let them do whatever they want with me. It would hurt, but then everyone would be safe. You could all go back to living normal lives, and my family would be okay.”

“I think the fact that you wouldn’t tell Felicity is your answer to that idea.” Barry pulled away from the wall. “Oliver, you could turn yourself in. Mostly because none of us would be able to stop you, because you’re stubborn. But after you turn yourself in, you put everyone at the mercy of the Bratva. There’s no Oliver Queen to protect anyone anymore.”

“You could protect them.”

“Maybe, but I’m not half the man you are. If there was a poll, I think people would rather be saved by the Arrow than the Flash.”

“I think what Barry’s saying is that you’re more valuable to everyone alive than dead. If you go, you leave Felicity without a husband and the kids without a father. Your baby would never know you. And Barry’s right. Once they have you out of the way, they could do whatever they wanted to your family because you’re not around to protect them.”

Which is what he was doing now. He came to Starling City because Felicity got information about the Bratva. Who gave her that information. They had to have known that she would come looking. There was no way―“I’m an idiot.”

Barry laughed. “Yeah, we can all agree on that.”

“No, no.” Oliver pushed himself up, the panic seeping into his heart. It was going to take over, because he couldn’t control it. “ _I’m_ the idiot. I came here to find my sister, and left everyone unprotected.”

“They didn’t find you for two years. What makes you think they’re gonna find you now?”

His mind flashed back to Ellie’s relationship with the kid. Her talking on the phone. Felicity searching for the Bratva and getting information that nearly got them killed. “They got in.”

Diggle stood up and approached him. “Oliver, this is your brain telling you about all those horrible things that could have happened. They didn’t.”

“And how do you know that?” Oliver glared at him. “Huh? How do you know that?”

“You need to have a little bit of faith.”

“My faith got washed away with my humanity a long time ago.” He brushed past him and limped to bedroom where he’d spent most of his night dreaming about his family. Who could be in danger. Or dead. His friends followed him in, but he didn’t pay attention to them. Just packed his things and switched his leather pants for jeans that hurt to put on. “John, tell Lyla that I need a plane. I can fly it myself.”

“Oliver, I think before you go you need to take a deep breath.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” He tossed his bag over his shoulder and drew himself up to his full height. “John, you of all people should know that I can’t lose my family again. I can’t! If I do, I die. I can’t work right without them. And they’re in danger because of something _I_ did. So don’t give me any crap about panicking. Because I’m not going to stop until I get home and have Annie in my arms.” He lowered his voice and grumbled, “Now get me a plane. _Now_.”

Barry whizzed away, while Diggle shook his head as he walked to the computers. Oliver re-bandaged his wound, and stuffed three bottles of painkillers into his bag. Eventually they would come in handy.

“Lyla has a plane ready for you at A.R.G.U.S. It’s small, but it’ll get you there. There’s no tracking device on it, so you’ll be fine.” Diggle crossed his arms and gave him a hard look. It was one he recognized most from a few years ago when he had something to say but couldn’t in fear of getting screamed at.

Oliver spread his hands. “Whatever you want to say…say it.”

“I’ve known you for a very long time, and when you got here, that was the most at peace I’ve ever seen you, even with everything that’s happening. One day here and it’s completely gone. You’re acting like the man I dealt with for five years.”

“It’s because of Felicity.” He lifted his shoulders an inch and shook his head. “It wasn’t me, John, who found peace. She practically had to lead me to it and make me be at peace, and she’s the one who keeps me from falling off the deep end. And it apparently only takes one night away from her and I’m falling apart.”

“It helps to have someone like that. But eventually you might have to learn how to deal with yourself by yourself. I’m not saying anything happened to her, because it didn’t. But Oliver, you need to be at peace by yourself. You need to forgive yourself for everything that’s happened.”

“I…have.”

“I don’t think you have, and if you look closely, you’ll realize that too. The plane’s only available for the next hour, so you better go.” Diggle clapped him on the back. “Good luck, Oliver. If there’s any way you can contact us, please do so.”

“Yeah, yeah. I will. Thanks.” He left without saying goodbye to Roy or Laila. He couldn’t, in fear of falling apart. Again. All he needed to do was get home. Hold Annie and give Felicity a hug and kiss. He needed to feel her love again. _You’re going to be fine._ He would. They would. He just needed to get home. Once there, they could figure out what to do, and how the Bratva had played them.

Once in the air, he set the plane on autopilot and closed his eyes. No way he could sleep, but it gave him the illusion of it. He let himself imagine all the wonderful things in his life, including those stupid goats. When he got home, he and the boys would find news homes for them. Maybe they could even get rid of one of the roosters. They could buy more horses with that money. The new baby would eventually want one.

The flight took fourteen hours. Oliver rented a car that could hit top speed at one forty, loaded his gear in the back, and headed home. He’d told Felicity that he’d be home in three days, so it would be a nice surprise. He forgoed the stop at the grocery store to get home quicker. The pit in his stomach wouldn’t go away until he gave each member of his family a hug. They could go to the store later and get ice cream.

Two miles out, he spotted smoke. It didn’t look like much. Maybe they started a bonfire. In the middle of the day. Something they never did. His stomach squeezed, and as he came around the bend that gave him a straight-shot look at the farm, his body went numb. His heart stopped.

It wasn’t there.

None of it was there.

Nothing.

Only a pile of rubbish.

Somehow, he made it to the edge of their property. Should he even get out? All he would find was broken bits of his family. If he was even given that miracle. Oliver parked the car and stared. Not at the remains of the house. Not at the barn. But at the goat who wandered around in the debris. He had to get it out of there, or it would burn up. Because it was stupid. It took after its owner.

He didn’t bother grabbing a weapon from the back. Just walked to the where the house used to be, avoiding bits of metal that had blown out all the way to the road. Little fires scattered around, burning whatever hadn’t blown up. He shooed the goat away, directing him to the open fields. It left, screaming, carrying a piece of something. He didn’t want to know what. Fabric of one of the girl’s dresses lay on top of a pile of debris.

Something glinted in the sun. Though it didn’t feel like sun. It felt like someone had just blindfolded him and flipped off all the lights in a basement and left him there with the water running. It wouldn’t take long for the basement to fill up. Because his was small, and so feebly built that it couldn’t withstand anything. Not a day away from his family. And this? This knocked everything off its feet in his head, and there was nothing that he could do to plug in even the smallest lamp.

He squatted down and picked up a tablet. _Felicity’s_ tablet. She wouldn’t have left the house without it. She never did. They’d been here. And they’d died in a fiery explosion. They died, just like his first wife. And like her, he’d killed Felicity too. And his kids. Their baby. They’d breathed their last because of _him_.

But not just because of him.

Because of the Bratva.

He pushed himself up and surveyed the damage of the barn. Part of the wall still stood, and next to it, he’d buried half a million. It would get him wherever he needed to go. And it wasn’t home. He couldn’t let anyone else get infected with the disease he carried around. This was why he let himself be alone for five years. Because as much as it terrified him to love his family, he knew―deep down―that if he loved them, they would die.

And they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!!! With the first part of this saga, I used The Sound of Music for inspiration, and for this one I'm using one of the Bourne books for ideas. Obviously, I don't have the time and probably not even the talent to dive deep into a storyline like that, but I'm using a few of the ideas, and so far, it's going well. I think you will all enjoy it. (Remember when I said there'd be angst?) 
> 
> Kudos and such are always appreciated!!!! The comments are my favorite though, because when I'm feeling down on myself, I go and read those. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the first of a few very angsty, very me-crying-while-writing chapters. Hope you enjoy!

He didn’t cry. Didn’t even feel like it. Funny how years ago, when the doctors told him that Annie died, he threw a fit that ended with getting sedated, and afterwards, sobbed for hours next to his wife’s body. But this time―because why wouldn’t there more than one time―he didn’t scream or cry. It was if he were drowning. Drowning in his family’s blood. He hadn’t bothered to comb through the wreckage. A few pieces of clothing and a cow’s head was enough for him to throw up.

He trudged back to the car and dropped to the seat. Started the engine. But he didn’t go anywhere. Just stared at what used to be his home. Their home. Maybe someday he would come back here and build a memorial for his family. But why do it now? It wasn’t like there was anything to bury. And even if there were…he sucked in a shaky breath and shifted the car into reverse. He needed to get out of here. Start a mission. On his own this time. There would be no Felicity. No Cisco. No Dig. He would get his sister back to Roy and Laila, and take down the Bratva.

And then, maybe, he would end it.

If the Bratva had found the house, they wouldn’t be far behind him. Oliver set the cruise to one hundred and drove back to the hangar. He didn’t know how he got there. Just knew when to slow down and park. Return the keys to a confused manager who asked too many questions. He climbed the stairs of the plane and dropped his weapons on the passenger seat. Those would be necessary for what he needed to do.

He cleaned off Felicity’s tablet and plugged in the USB Roy had given him. Files popped up with dates when they found information. He clicked on the first one, which contained pictures of the abduction. None of this would help him right now, except for the fact that whoever did it went through a window. But he didn’t have Felicity’s help anymore, which meant he would need to remember everything she’d barely taught him.

Or he could just do it his way.

He tossed the tablet towards the passenger seat, but it hid the edge and slid off. Oliver worked on starting the plane, but his eyes couldn’t break away from the tablet on the ground. Finally, he let out a string of expletives and reached down to pick it up. A long scratch now marred the perfect silver. According to Felicity, she’d owned this tablet for five years, and it had never gotten damaged. At least not like this.

Now it did.

Just like her.

She’d made it through life without getting hurt. There’d been a few bumps and bruises, but now she’d been dropped.

Oliver shoved the tablet into his duffel bag and turned his attention to flying the plane. He should set it on autopilot directed at a mountaintop and go in the back and close his eyes. It wouldn’t hurt that bad; not any more than he ached right now. He would see his family again. All it would take was a little pain and then it would be over. He almost did it, but just as typed in the code to switch it to auto, he glanced at the duffel bag. Something buzzed. He pulled out the tablet again and stared at the reminder that popped up.

_Reminder #700: Tell Oliver I love him._

A tear dropped onto the screen. He wiped it away and swiped the reminder off. She never got the chance because the Bratva killed her. And they would pay for that, and it wouldn’t be when they died. They would pay for it in both lives, and he would be the one who put an arrow into each and every one of those men’s hearts.

He couldn’t do that if he drove his plane into a mountain. If he ended his life in any way until he took the Bratva down. This time when he set the plane on autopilot, he directed it to Vladimir, Russia. He went to the back of the plane and searched through the supplies A.R.G.U.S. had left him with. An extra bow and quiver, along with several sets of arrows. Enough for him to do his damage. He tossed the things he needed towards the front of the plane, taking note of what weapons he could use.

With everything stuffed into two duffel bags, he climbed back into the cockpit. The flight wouldn’t take too long. A lot less than the flight back to France. Oliver settled into his seat and closed his eyes. But he didn’t think about what had happened. The only thing that he could see was blood. Not of his family. But of the people he would kill for killing his family.

 

It had been years since he visited this city, but it took him five minutes to readjust to the Russian coldness. In Russian, Oliver asked the cab driver to take him to the nearest hotel. He’d taught the kids a bit of the language. Mostly how to say hello and ask where the bathroom is. Clayton could speak an entire paragraph almost fluently. Better than he could. _Stop._ He had to stop. He needed the assassin for this job, not the man who just lost his entire family.

When the cab dropped him off, he went through the double doors of the hotel and walked to the front desk. “I need to reserve a room for two nights. For Jonas Queen.” He paid in cash and trudged up to the room. It would be big enough to house the whole Queen family if necessary. But tonight it would house him. Tomorrow night it would do the same. Every room for the rest of his life would just be him. No more bedtime stories with all the kids sprawled out on their parents’ full bed. No more parties in the bathroom as they all fought over who got to brush their teeth first.

No more late-night walks to he and Felicity’s favorite spot to rekindle their relationship.

He pulled out his weapons and spread them out on the dresser. Dead-bolted the door. Shrugged off his clothes. He stared at the king size bed, bile rising in his throat the longer his eyes rested on the left side of the bed. Felicity’s spot. He never slept on her side, except when they cuddled. He’d given her that side when they got married, and taken the place where Annie always slept.

What was he supposed to do now? Sleep on the bottom? Everywhere reminded him of someone he’d lost.

When his eyes started watering, he stretched out across the bed, his head on Felicity’s side, and his feet on Annie’s. His body ached; every time he moved pain shot up his leg from the arrow wound. He would have taken a thousand of those if it meant it would save him from what stabbed at his heart. He lost his family today, and not even Barry Allen could bring them back. He’d failed at doing the only job that he absolutely had to do. They trusted him to keep them safe. And he couldn’t.

Oliver grabbed the pillow from the other side and pulled it to his chest. He wouldn’t cry. He couldn’t. While Felicity and the kids gave his humanity back to him, losing them took it all away. Like there was nothing left of himself to mourn their loss. The Bratva had killed him too; all that was left for them to take was his body.

 

He must have fallen asleep at some point. Blood streamed down the walls, dripping into his hair and onto his clothes. When he tried to get it off, a hand grabbed his arm. Felicity’s. Her mangled hand, tarnished from the explosion. She didn’t have her ring finger. Her wedding ring lay on the floor. Except it wasn’t just hers. It was Annie’s too. They both lay on the floor, covered in blood.

_It’s not real. It’s not real_. Except it was. There was no way to get out of this bad dream, except he didn’t get to carry Felicity’s wedding ring with him for the rest of his life.

Oliver yanked himself out of his sleep, covering his mouth to stifle his scream. And throwing up. He sucked in three deep breaths before looking at the clock. Four. That gave him three hours of sleep. More than he’d expected. But it proved to be too much, because the things he’d seen wouldn’t get out of his head. Neither the sight of his home destroyed. Everything. Except Felicity’s tablet.

That needed a charger.

He pulled on jeans and a sweatshirt and headed out to the empty streets. Homeless people scrounged in the dumpsters for food, occasionally stopping to watch him. One man brandished a switch blade. Oliver kept walking. After a few minutes, it started raining. It began as a drizzle but became a downpour by the time he reached the store. The bright lights and one cheery old lady greeting customers grated on his nerves. Didn’t they realize that he didn’t want to deal with this right now? All he needed was a charger so he could keep alive the one thing his wife probably loved more than she loved him.

“Can I help you, sir?”

He spoke English. It was a welcome relief. He didn’t feel like listening and interpreting. Oliver held out the tablet to the skinny worker. “I lost its charger on my flight here. I’m hoping you have one for it here.”

“I’m sure.” He turned it over in his hand. “This is an old one. Sure you don’t want to just replace it? It’s bound to break down at some point.”

“This one holds…value to me. It’s why I’ve kept it for so long.”

“Perfectly fine.” He handed the tablet back to him. “I’ll go grab a charger for it. Anything else you need?”

“A Wi-Fi hotspot. Doesn’t matter the price.”

“Sure thing. You look wet, so let me go get this stuff for you.”

Oliver nodded and turned to watch the TVs. Hockey was over, which meant Russia didn’t have anything to talk about at four in the morning. He did his best to interpret the gossip magazines, rolling his eyes at a few of the headlines. He used to be on there. The media loved him, but after they spent a few weeks covering his fall from grace, they didn’t care anymore. For years, he always checked the magazines anyways, almost curious to see who was getting a divorce that day. How stupid it seemed now.

“Here’s your charger and the hotspot.” The kid returned and handed him two small boxes. “Hope you have a great day.”

“You…” his voice caught. _Not now, Oliver._ He swallowed and mustered up a smile. “You too.”

“Are you okay, sir?”

“I’m fine. Just had a rough night’s sleep. Thanks for your help.” He bought the items and headed out to the cold. It stopped raining, but the temperature started turning the streets to ice. By the time he got back to the hotel, the sun rose over the buildings. He didn’t notice. Or cared. Only grabbed two cups of coffee from the breakfast area and went back to his room. He plugged the tablet in and established a secure connection that would make Felicity proud.

Most of what Roy gave him wouldn’t save a rodent from a mouse trap, let alone help him find Thea, but it did give him something to do for several hours. On the last folder, he found a report of everyone who worked at Queen Consolidated. So that’s what she did. She’d taken over Felicity’s position when they left. He should have expected nothing less.

He went through all two thousand employees, using an app Felicity created to check off people he knew weren’t suspects. The Bratva would’ve stayed close to see if anyone contacted the Queens, and likely they ran out of patience and decided to draw Oliver out. Which worked.

After saying a few prayers for help, he hacked into QC’s database and ran a search for all the employees who’d been there for less than ten years. With that list, he narrowed it down to fifty people. Fifty people who he would have to figure out how to get information from.

He needed a hacker and no way he would be that person. Cisco couldn’t help; the kid deserved to live a life without Oliver Queen in it. Which meant he’d either have to find the Smoak who hadn’t died and tell him his daughter passed away, or he could an easier route and get the second or third best hacker in the world. A man who likely wouldn’t be happy about his ex-girlfriend dying, but if he had any sense, he’d help her husband avenge her death.

Oliver set the tablet on the nightstand and flipped on the TV. _Little House on the Prairie_ showed up first. Jack and Laura ran through the grass with the rest of the family close behind them. He clenched his teeth together as pain ripped through his body. It paralyzed him, forcing him to stare at the characters his kids enjoyed the most. The Ingalls family played in the prairies, having a picnic.

He hurled the remote at the TV, shattering the front and stopping the show. The sound of breaking and parts of the screen falling to the ground caused tears to well in his eyes. He bit down on his tongue to keep from drowning in his agony, but raised his hands to cover his face. “Why didn’t you just take me too? I could’ve gone with them.” And then he wouldn’t be stuck here. Without his wife. Without his kids. At least they’d be together again. But no. Life didn’t give him the luxury of that.

If only he stayed home. The Bratva got what they wanted. They knew they could draw him out, and he took the bait. They took that moment to wipe out his life. If he were home, he wouldn’t have been able to stop a bomb or whatever they did, but he would’ve at least been with them when they died.

Oliver forced himself to get up and walk to the window. The sun worked on disappearing, which would give him the cover of darkness that he needed. Tonight it would be an easy thing; get on the plane and get out of Russia. For the next task, he wished he brought his suit, but a leather jacket and a mask would have to do.

He packed his gear up, laid a couple hundred on the desk for the TV, and went out the back entrance. Two hours later, he shifted into autopilot and pulled out Felicity’s tablet. The list of names stared at him, taunting him. If he and Felicity had done this five months ago, this problem would’ve been solved already. In more ways than one. Now he would have to figure this out with his wife’s ex-boyfriend. Who’d tried to kidnap her.

And his wife was dead.

Oliver went to Felicity’s documents and drew up a file titled ‘for my hubby’. Thankfully she didn’t password protect it. He almost smiled when he read the title line. _At some point you’re going to need these things. I know you; probably better than you know yourself. And I know that you are a terrible hacker so here’s a few cheat sheets. Now don’t go hack the CIA or something cuz you will be caught. But this should help you hack something if I’m not around._

With the help from her step-by-step document on how to do anything involving illegal hacking, he found Cooper Sheldon. Apparently no one cared if the guy who kidnapped a woman and her mom with the intention to kill them stayed in prison. They let him live at a safe house. One that he could easily break into. Finally. Some luck. Getting into a federal prison could be done, but without help? He didn’t have his tech support. His Cisco. Or his Felicity.

He didn’t have anything anymore.

Oliver scrubbed his hands over his face and stared at the tablet again. But the format of the safe house turned into a video of his family. Annie and Piper riding their horses, screaming about someone cleaning their saddles wrong, Clayton and William wrestling on the ground, Harper firing arrows into the makeshift targets, shouting about getting a bullseye. Ellie on the porch reading a book. She died thinking that he was angry at her.

He never got a chance to apologize or to tell her it was okay. And she would never get to be in a relationship. Never would she get to experience the joy of being married. None of them would.  

 

_“Oliver!” Felicity screamed his name over and over again. “Oliver, help us!”_

_But he couldn’t. Anatoly kept his arms behind him, keeping him from leaping into the fire to save his wife. It was too late for everyone else. They were gone. But he could save Felicity. Maybe save their baby. But she withered away just like the rest of the family. Just like Annie and the baby. When she disappeared, Anatoly let him go and walked away, laughing. Leaving him to try to save them. But he couldn’t._

Oliver shot up, gasping for air, just as the dashboard started beeping. He scrubbed his face and wiped his eyes. He needed to land, and his head wasn’t on straight. _Get it together._ He glanced at Felicity’s tablet. The daily ‘tell Oliver I love him’ notification had popped up as he slept. He needed to revenge her, not die in a plane crash because he had a bad dream. Not right now at least.

Four hours later, he got a hotel room, checking in as Carter Bowen, and set his gear out on the desk. It would help to have backup in this situation, especially considering he hadn’t slept right in a good week. Reflexes would be slow, and his head, as much as tried to tell himself, wasn’t in the right place. It never would be. So he’d have to suck it up and get Cooper out by himself, get the information, and put him where he really belonged.  

Where _Oliver_ belonged.

He should still be in prison. Deserved to be. If the jury had ruled correctly, he would be sitting in a prison cell. Maybe waiting for his family to visit him.

He grabbed her tablet and left the room. Halfway down the steps, he came around the corner and bumped into a young lady who carried three suitcases with three little kids behind her. She shrieked and dropped everything. Before she bent down, Oliver stopped her. “I got this. It’s my fault.”

“No, no, sir, it’s fine.”

He grabbed two of the suitcases in one arm and took the other before she got it. “Seriously.” He mustered up a smile, trying to withhold the sadness when the little kids smiled and waved. “No one should have to do this by themselves. Do you have anything else downstairs?”

“This is it. Thank you, sir.” She led the way back up the stairs and to the room all the way at the end of the hall. When Oliver put the suitcases by the door, she turned and smiled. “Thank you. This means a lot. It’s hard to travel with three little kids.”

“I know the feeling.”

Her gaze fell to his hand. “You have kids?”

“Six. One…” his throat constricted. “One on the way.”

“Wow, that’s…I must look a little pathetic.”

“Without my wife, I never would’ve been able to do it. Plus, it gets easier as they get older.” He needed to get out of here before something happened that shouldn’t. Oliver ruffled the oldest boy’s hair. “So you be good for your mom, okay?” With that, he said goodbye and after rounding the corner, sprinted to the exit. The kids looked so much like his did when they were young, down to the bouncing around in the hotel hallways. He and Annie got so many noise complaints when the kids were little. Their children didn’t want to stay quiet, and if they tried to take them out for a walk, they would race down the hallways, screaming at the top of their lungs. Whoever lost—usually Harper at that time—would transition her screams from ‘I’m having fun’ to ‘my life sucks and I hate everything’.

He shrugged the thought away and switched his attention to the break-in. It would take a small miracle to get in with no help, but this was the only way.

It took him ten minutes to break in, and another five to find Cooper. After shutting off the security cameras, he lifted his mask off, trying his best not to send a knife into the jerk’s leg just for giving Felicity nightmares about her kidnapping. “Hi, Cooper.”

“Y-You’re…what the―”

“Yes, it’s Oliver Queen. And I need your help.”

“Don’t you have your _wife_ for that?”

“She’s…gone.” The coldness in his voice scared him. Didn’t he care? Could he care? “The Bratva killed her. Killed them all. And I don’t really know how to do anything with a computer, so I need your help to get revenge on the Bratva for what they did.”

Cooper crossed his arms, his face twisted in something that resembled pain. “First of all, I’m sorry for what happened. I saw how much you loved them all. Second, I don’t know if I can. If I help you, I’ll never get out of here.”

“And Felicity will never get justice. I know you loved her. In your own twisted, psychopath way. So I need your help. Just for a little while, and I’ll do my best to work it out that you don’t get in anymore trouble.” He raised the tablet in the air. “I have information that can help us.”

“Fine. I’ll help you. Only because―”

Oliver grabbed Cooper’s shirt and threw him past him, not caring that the guy crashed the to the ground. He yanked his mask over his face and got them out of the prison just as the alarms started blaring.

“Nice. Now I’m a criminal. Again.”

“Serving your sentence in a house doesn’t make you any less a criminal.” Oliver pushed him into the car and handed him the tablet. “The reason the Bratva got to us was because a few months ago they kidnapped my sister to draw me out. It worked, I went back to Starling, and they blew up our house.”

Cooper opened the tablet, hacked into it before Oliver told him the password, and chuckled. “Nice picture. You had quite the family.”

“Thank you.” He reached over and drew up the document of names. “My sister worked at Queen Consolidated, and three months ago, she was kidnapped. The Bratva would have gotten close to her by working at QC. I got all the names of the workers, and then I went through and got everyone who has worked there less than ten years. I need you to―”

“Get all the information that there ever was about all these people, and find out who could have taken your sister. Got it. It’d be helpful to have an actual computer, not one of these five-year-old tablets.”

“Well, if you’re gonna complain about it, then don’t use it.” Oliver yanked the tablet away and put it on his lap. When Cooper’s eyebrows went up, he took a deep breath and looked down at the electronic. “Sorry.” He handed it back to him. “What kind of computer do you need?”

“Anything would work. But I’m kind of a fugitive.”

“Well aware. Thankfully I know what I’m doing.”

Cooper didn’t look up from the tablet, but muttered, “Except you’re a walking zombie.”

“My family was just murdered. I’m not planning on being okay ever again.”

“There’s a time for mourning, y’know.” He raised the tablet in the air. “Felicity made a note four and a half days ago. So this happened thirty-six hours ago. And you’re here…breaking people out of house arrest and out for revenge. Maybe you should put me back in there and take a little time for yourself.”

“You aren’t allowed to tell me how I should lead my life.”

“No, but I know how it is to lo―”

“Have you lost two wives?” Oliver slammed on the brakes as the light turned red, but the brakes in his head didn’t work. “Or…eight kids? Because until you have, then you have no right to tell me how I should deal with tragedy. At all! Because no one knows it like I do, and I’m doing the only thing that I can do, and that’s to kill every single person involved in the Bratva.” Including himself. Cooper just kept working, which gave his brain too much time to think. This was when Felicity usually butted in and entertained him. Or yelled at him for thinking.

Three years ago, she became the kids’ nanny. But over time, she’d become his home. And then she became his lighthouse.

And the lighthouse had run out of fuel.

It had fallen to the ground, leaving his ship stranded, floating closer to the rocks. But the scariest thing was that the captain of a ship didn’t know about the rocks and jagged cliffs that they could crash into at any moment. He _did_ , because he’d been an inch from them before, and without her, he couldn’t stop himself from hurtling against the rocks, because his strength had  left the moment he saw the smoke.

He parked the car in the Walmart parking lot and send Cooper a glare. “Don’t move, or you’ll regret it big time.”

“I’m just gonna keep working on this, so you go get me a computer, and don’t blow up a random worker in the process.”

“Funny.” Oliver slammed the door and sprinted to the electronics unit. He picked out an Apple computer―thankful for the millionth time for Barry pulling money out of the Queen’s bank account before sending them over to Europe―and paid for it. When he got back to the car, he handed Cooper the device. “I have a hotel room a few minutes from here, and a mobile hotspot so that it’ll be harder to track or whatever.”

“You’re not as dumb as you say you are.”

“No, but there are a few people more skilled at this than me. You’re one of them.”

“Who’re the other two? More like who’s the other person other than Felicity?”

“Her dad. According to Felicity.”

“Why don’t you find him instead of me? It could’ve been a lot easier than doing this.”

“First, sounds like it would be impossible. I can break into a prison fine, but I can’t hack the globe and find him. Second, I’m not interested in telling him that I killed his daughter. And don’t say I didn’t. Because I did.”

                                                            *******

It was the scariest thing that ever happened to him. Ellie driving into the yard like a mad woman, screaming about the Bratva killing Martha and David. He didn’t even have time to be sad about them. Just told everyone to get in the car and that he needed to get Felicity. Then she collapsed, all while crying about a bomb. Typical of the Bratva. It was a perfect way to eliminate a whole family. And torture the only living member.

That was what made him try extra hard to get everyone out, even when Felicity fell to the ground several feet from the truck, eyes closed. They had thirty seconds at most before they were all dead. “Ellie, as soon as she’s in, go!” He wrapped his arms around Felicity’s chest. Clayton grabbed her legs. There was no time to be gentle.

“The money!” Harper screamed as she opened the door to get out. “We gotta get the money!”

“Not enough time. _Harper_!” His hands were shaking. Everything was shaking. _God help us_. “Get back in the truck!”

A whistling sound was heard. William looked up at the sky as the screaming got louder from the truck. Why couldn’t Dad be here? He could help them.

Instead, they were going to die.

He and Clayton swung Felicity up into the truck bed and jumped in with her. “ _Go_!” The truck lurched forward just as the bomb hit. It was deafening. Loud enough that he couldn’t hear any of the screams coming from a few feet away from him. Or the screams from the animals. William spread his body over Felicity’s as pieces of metal rained down on them. Something scorched his skin, but he didn’t move from his position on his mom. She needed to be safe. The baby needed to be safe.

When the pieces of their house and barn stopped falling, he raised his head and peeked into the cabin. Harper lay on top of Annie and Piper, her body shaking. She was okay. Next to him, Clayton held tightly to his hand. They were _okay_. Alive. Injured, but they were alive. “Ellie!” She looked back at him, eyes wide and streaming with tears. Blood seeped down her cheek. “Go towards the woods!”

She nodded, and turned her attention back to the road. The money was gone. They had a bow and ten arrows. No dad. Their mom…he propped himself up on his elbows so he could check on her. Breathing, and with a few singe marks on her skin and clothes. He kept her safe. Just like Oliver told him to. “Mom? Can you hear me?” No answer. He glanced at Clayton, who looked at him without blinking. “You okay?”

He nodded.

Shock.

They were all in shock of some sort. He crawled towards the cabin. The windows were shattered. Glass speckled them all, especially Harper, who didn’t answer when he called her name. “Hey! Harper!” He reached through the broken window and tapped her shoulder. She grabbed his hand and jerked up, twisting it backwards. It didn’t hurt half as bad as his head right now. “Hey, hey! It’s okay. It’s okay, Harper.” He slid as far as he could forward and kept talking. “It’s okay.” Maybe she couldn’t hear him. That was a side-effect of loud noises, right? It was like he researched this a lot. He looked down at Annie and Piper. “You two okay?”

They huddled together, holding each other as they sobbed, but they both nodded. William sagged forward and let out a small cry. He couldn’t let it all go right now, but he needed a tiny moment to be thankful. They shouldn’t have made it out. If they did, they shouldn’t have been this alive. _Thank you_. That’s who deserved the most thanks. He straightened and pulled his emotions together. “Ellie? Where are we going?”

“The only place that I know to go right now.”

“Are you okay?”

“Y-Y-Yeah.” Her voice cracked. She started to cry. “William…”

“We’re gonna be fine. Just get to where we can go, and we’ll get it figured out. Are you bleeding anywhere else?”

“I got hit…on my arms. But…I’ll be fine. Is Mom…?”

“We kept her safe. She’s passed out.”  

“Okay. Good.” He’d never heard her talk like that. Quiet. So timid. She was the strong one. The person people could cry on. Now she needed someone. They all did. William continued to hold Harper’s hand, coaxing out of her shell. They would need a lot of bandages. Oliver taught them how to take people down, but not how to take care of head wounds or how to take glass out. He glanced back at Clayton and Felicity. “How’s she doing?”

“Still out, but she’s moving a little.” Clayton turned and stared at the smoldering wreckage that they could still see from here. “It’s all gone.”

“Yeah.” The mess disappeared from view when Ellie went around a bend. William recounted the arrows in the quiver. Still ten. Not enough. The store in town didn’t sell these. Oliver made most of them, and all of that equipment was now gone. Along with everything else they owned.

He stayed at the end of the bed, hand still on Harper, as they weaved through the woods. Where on Earth were they going? It took them half an hour or so before a cabin came into view. A sick feeling came into his stomach. Archer. Who else did she know? And who else would have a cabin in the woods that would give any normal person shivers? “Elizabeth…”

“Can you think of any other place?” She snapped. He should’ve assumed that questioning her at the moment would lead to that. “Because you are welcome to give me more options.”

“This is…fine.” He let go of Harper and scooted towards the exit, but forfeited that option when glass scraped his jeans. Instead, he hopped over the ledge and landed on unsteady legs. Archer came out of the house, holding a pistol in his hands. At least he had one of those. He lowered it when Ellie got out.

“What is going on? Are you…” he ran down the steps and all the way to Ellie. “Oh my God. What happened to you?”

She fell into his arms and sobbed. William rolled his eyes and tramped to them. “Our house was blown up.”

“Who the heck…why?”

“Ever heard of Oliver Queen?”

“That trial. He and his family—holy crap. You’re the Queens.” He let out a laugh but sobered when he touched Ellie’s face. How annoying. “Your house is gone? I’m so sorry. Is your dad with you?”

“Still scared of him?” His terror was translating into annoyance as Archer continued to caress Ellie. She needed it, but did it have to come from him? “Dad’s in Starling. The Bratva blew our house up, and we need a place to stay until we can figure everything out. You’re the only option we have.”

Archer’s eyes widened as the rest of the group got out of the truck. William surveyed the damage. Piper had a gash on her forehead, likely from being slammed to the ground by Harper, and Annie had cuts on her arms from the glass. Nothing that wouldn’t heal though. There wouldn’t be scars. Harper climbed out next, staggering to the side. Clayton leaned over the edge of the bed and kept her from falling.

“You can, uh, stay here as long as you need. Come on inside. Is your Mom…is she okay?”

“She’s in the back.” William pointed to the door. “Everybody go inside. Archer and I can get Mom.”

“No, I got her.”

“You can’t.”

“You’re hurt. I got this. Just help me get her to the edge and I’ll carry her right to the bed.”

That comment grated on his nerves. But as he moved to shove Archer out of the way and carry his own mother, pain shot up his knee. He stumbled down the stairs with Felicity, and must have hurt it then. Only explanation. Which was what he told the guy standing next to him, who nodded with a smirk on his face.

“Hop up and get her to the edge for me.”

It hurt to get up, but he didn’t show any pain. Archer easily swept Felicity up in his arms and walked to the house. William grabbed the weapons and followed him into the house. Shack. It wasn’t much, but as Archer carried their mom into the bedroom and Ellie cuddled Annie on the couch, William leaned against the door and closed his eyes. Alive. All that mattered. Sure, they had to stay in Ellie’s not-actual-boyfriend’s cabin, but they all made it.

He looked up at the ceiling and imagined a blue sky with stars sparkling. “Thank you.”

 

“How is she?”

He shut the door and leaned against it, letting out a long sigh that would give everyone the answer that they didn’t want. He dropped to the rugged couch and almost reached up to rub his face, but stopped himself when even the slight movement hurt his wounds more. “She’s okay in the aspect of she’ll live, and she said she can feel the baby moving, but other than that…she’s not doing well.”

Archer crossed his arms. “I’m sorry there’s no doctor around here that we can get help from.”

“Oh, she doesn’t need a doctor. She needs our dad.”

“Who’s probably still in Starling.” Ellie slumped on the couch, her face haggard. She closed her eyes and winced. The cuts above her eyes were more pronounced now. In the past few hours, they took care of the injuries the best they could. Everyone had something wrong. Burns, flying, or in Felicity’s case, exhaustion and terror. They were all scared. If the Bratva found them there, how quickly would they track them down to the tiny cabin in the woods? “Archer, did you check on the other kids?”

“They’re all being entertained by my parrot at the moment.”

William eyed Ellie’s…whatever. “We need to come up with a plan. A line of defense, per say. I have the bow and a few arrows.”

“Can you even use that thing?”

“Dad taught me how. He actually showed us a lot of things. Like how not to get tracked down by the Bratva.” He winced when Ellie’s face changed. “I’m sorry. I know you already―”

“No need to remind me that this is all my fault. And now it’s my responsibility to make sure we don’t get killed. I think the first thing is that we need to get a few things that we can take out a few members of the Bratva with.”

“I have a pistol _and_ a rifle.”

William raised his eyebrows. “Wow, you’re just filled with surprises.”

“I’m not entirely a normal twenty-year-old. And clearly you aren’t a normal anything.”

“For a very good reason.”

“Okay, okay, boys.” Ellie lifted her hand and shot them both glares. “Let’s put away the man cockiness or whatever you call that and come up with a plan. We can’t stay here for very long. Mom’s gonna be ready to go soon, I’m sure. But…I don’t know. This is usually our parents’ job, and Dad is usually the one who protects us. No offense, Will, but you’re not really a pro at any of this.”

“No, but until we find him, I’m gonna have to do.”

                                                ******

She could hear the whole conversation out there. They thought they could be quiet, but the Queens weren’t quiet. Especially yesterday, when they got her out of a soon-to-be bombed house despite her pleas to save themselves. She’d seen each of the kids since then; they’d all suffered because of it, but they were alive. Though they might not be for long if they didn’t figure out a way to hide from the Bratva. Without the man who could protect them.

She trusted William and Ellie, but she trusted her husband more.

What if he came back and found the house bombed? He would think they were dead, and that would devastate him. Her heart constricted just thinking about it. They needed to figure out a way to contact him, or he would come home and proceed to go off the deep end. “Hey, William? Ellie?”

They both came in, and sat down on either side of the bed that should be burned for pretending to be a bed. She grabbed Ellie’s hand. “Don’t worry; I’m okay. I promise. And I can hear you guys coming up with a plan. Good job. But we need to figure out a way to contact your dad. We could use his help, and eventually he’s gonna come home and see the house and…I can’t even think about what that would to do to him. Unfortunately, we can’t send a smoke signal, which means we need to contact him using electronics.”

“How do we do that?”

“Well, my tablet got blown up, so unless this…Archer has one, I need a new one.” She planted her hands on either side of her and tried to push herself up. William pushed her back down and shook his head.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m not letting you guys get me a tablet. It’s dangerous.”

“And this isn’t? Mom, if we don’t do something, we all die. And I don’t want to.”

Felicity dropped her head back and groaned. She and Oliver talked about this. A little bit, and they’d never managed to discuss what they would do in a situation like this one. The kids had been trained to block a punch, and to fire a gun. They’d all seen the results of this life, and finally, it would come in handy. If only she could get enough peace in her heart to let them do something that could save them all. If something happened to any of them, she would never forgive herself. Oliver wouldn’t either.

“Hey, Mom?” William scooted his chair closer to her and grabbed her hand. “We’re in uncharted waters right now, and there aren’t any rulebooks for this, which means that we’ll have to come up with them on our own, and I’m coming up with one right now and it involves me and Ellie going to the store and buying a tablet.”

_Forgive me._ But she couldn’t do it herself, and her husband wasn’t around. Felicity nodded. “Okay.” Boy, that hurt to say. “Okay, fine. But there’s one issue, and it involves money.”

“Already got that taken care of.” Ellie stood up and gave her brother a look that Felicity didn’t like. “Seriously, Mom, don’t worry about it. Archer told me he has some money stored away. We’ll borrow that. And we’ll be back in a little bit.”

William grunted as he stood, but gave her a smile. “Just rest so that we can get outa this pit of hell before long.”

Ellie slapped his arm.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “Just get what we need and get back here before I die of a heart attack.”

They shut the door behind them, leaving her alone in the dark, quiet stinky room. Felicity closed her eyes and took a deep breath that ended with a sob. They’d made it out, yes, but their home had been destroyed. The horses that the girls loved were dead, along with the goats. Which wasn’t so bad, but they hadn’t asked for any of that. She could blame it on her hormones, but tears seeped down her cheeks. The animals had died. They didn’t have a home. Oliver would find out what happened and think they were dead.

And despite all that, a baby still grew inside her, getting increasingly excited to meet his or her family in several months.

Where would they be in six months? Would she be alive to deliver this little one? Would Oliver be at her side? What if they were still in hiding, and she had to deliver it by herself, or with only William and Ellie helping her? And what came after that? Normal families would send birth announcements, and the weird ones would get pictures and post them on social media. Maybe there wouldn’t be any family left for her to share her news with. She put her hands on her stomach, this time not smiling at the slight raise. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!!! Next comes a lot of William and Ellie, which was so fun to write. I think you'll like it. For now, leave a kudo and/or comment! It's always appreciated!!!! :) ALSO: I don't care if Little House doesn't air in Russia (it might), so don't tell me it doesn't. :P
> 
> For the Through the Eyes of a Child people: updating is coming soon! I've been crazy busy but I'm doing my best to get a chapter done.


	9. Chapter 9

 “Ellie.” William lowered his voice when he shut the door. His sister turned around and glared at him. Oh, they were gonna have so much fun together. “There is no way Archer has any money laying around, because this place is…disgusting.”

“I know. Which is why I already thought of a different idea.”

“Which is?”

“Martha and David’s house.”

“My _God_ , Ellie. We can’t just steal from them.”

“First, we gave them plenty over the past couple years. Second, where else are we gonna get money? Our house and barn were bombed, and there’s no way I’m going back there to try to dig out the half a million we have in there. And as soon as it stops smoldering, they’re gonna go check to see if our bodies are there, and when they’re not, they’ll keep looking. So stop being a scardy cat and let’s go.”

“I’m not being a scardy cat, just a good child.” He grabbed the bow and quiver from the coffee table and leveled a glare at Archer. “We’re gonna be gone for a bit, which puts you in charge. And I know we both know that that will be difficult for you, but―ow!”

“You brought that upon yourself.” Ellie squeezed Archer’s arm and smiled. “Just make sure they all stay in the house. If someone comes…shoot.”

“Got it.” Archer looked past her to William. “Don’t worry, bud. I got this.”

“Hmmm.” He walked past them both and into the other room where the four other kids sat. Annie got up and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m just so happy you’re safe.” Her head pressed against his stomach. “Is it okay if I’m still really scared?”

“It’s perfectly okay.” He pulled her away and flashed her a smile. “Listen, guys, Ellie and I need to go grab something for Mom. We won’t be gone for too long, but uh, Archer is in charge. It’ll work best if you just stay in here and let Mama sleep, because she’s worn out.”

“And you could sleep as well.” Ellie pulled on a jacket that had to be Archer’s. “Everyone’s had a rough day or two.”

“There’s no way I’m ever sleeping again.” Piper, who had a hat on her head that functioned as her bandage, shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. “All I can hear and see is the bomb going off.”

“It’s not gonna happen again. I promise. Which is why we need to go. So be good.” Ellie waved at them and pulled William outside. “We can take Archer’s motorcycle. It’s faster and it isn’t used very often, so no one will recognize it.”

Why was this happening to him? William shrugged. “Fine. Just know that I do not like him and I think he’s a wimp.”

“Have you seen his body? He’s not a wimp.”

“I don’t actively check out my sister’s crushes, thank you very much.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re so snippy.”

“Well, we all just escaped death and we’ll have to continue to do so for a while, so I’m not in a great mood.” He grabbed two helmets and stuffed one on her head, and the other on his. “Wonder why he has two. Hopefully he didn’t murder his last girlfriend.”

“I’m the only one who knows how to drive one of these things, so I would watch your mouth.”

He collapsed the bow and stuffed it and the quiver in the compartment before sliding onto the speed bike. In just a couple minutes, they would have the cover of darkness, which would give both sides an advantage. Theirs would be that no one would see them come out of the woods and head to the town. It also caused another problem they hadn’t thought of yet. “Hey, Ellie?”

“Yeah?”

“The store that would sell that stuff closes at eight thirty.”

“Well, then I guess we’re breaking in. Unless almighty Will―”

“We’re breaking in.”

She tipped her head to the side as if she was going to say something that would likely send them into the fighting abyss for the next five hours, but she just started the bike and after checking that he had a grip on something, roared off. He didn’t have the heart to ask her how she knew how to drive one of these things. Dad knew, but he never taught any of them how to drive. If Archer taught her….

In twenty minutes, they arrived at Martha’s house. William slung the quiver over his shoulder and grabbed the bow. “Seems like the family would be here by now, don’t you think? They came over all the time.”

“I honestly don’t want to imagine what the Bratva might have done.” Ellie pointed to the back door. “If they haven’t been here, I’d like to avoid the bodies, because that’s nothing that I want to see again.”

“I know what you mean.” He stepped over a dead rat and hopped up the steps. There weren’t any lights on. In fact, coupled with the temperature, a chill went down his spine. Their dad might have taught them how to defend themselves in situations like this, but he didn’t share the secret to staying calm, or how long it took to become accustomed to being terrified. Or how to function while being scared to death.

And here most teenagers were complaining about their lives being boring.

Ellie pulled open the screen door and stepped in. “There’s no way they’ve been here, because it smells so bad.”

He wrinkled his nose when he stepped in. “Yeah, that’s disgusting. Let’s get the money and get out of here.” Bile rose in his throat as they progressed further in the house. The Queens had dinner over here every couple weeks, and they’d played fox and geese in the hallway that Ellie steered him away from. He ran up the stairs to the bedroom closet, where the safety box was. They were the kind of couple who didn’t lock anything because they knew that no one would do anything to hurt them. Except now they were dead.

Because of the Queens.

“They were really nice people,” he grumbled as he combed through piles of jewelry. “And the Bratva killed them. To what? Get us upset?”

“They were killed in the doorway. Which probably means they knew one of us would come in there and see it.” Ellie rested her head against the wall as she watched him pull a few hundred dollars out of the vault. “The Bratva knows everything, Will. How are we supposed to get out of this alive?”

“I don’t know, but the more I think about it, the more scared I get, so I’d rather think about how we’re gonna get the tablet for Mom.” He pocketed the cash and shut the safe. “Let’s go before I freak out. I’ve had enough of this.” They made it outside before he threw up whatever he’d had for breakfast. Which he didn’t remember having. Maybe it was whatever he’d eaten a few days ago.

“Okay.” He wiped his mouth and took a deep breath. “We need to break into a store so we should probably get that over with. We could be criminals in twenty minutes.”

“I doubt it. They wouldn’t arrest someone with such a baby face like you.”

“You’re just trying to cheer me up.”

“Maybe. Either way, let’s go.”

They parked the bike in the back and walked to the entrance. Ellie tried the door while William rolled his eyes. “You seriously think that the―”

“Hey, what’re you kids doing?”

He grabbed Ellie’s arm and yanked her around the dumpster. What were they supposed to do? Show their faces and ask for help?

“Okay, kiddos, I know you’re hiding over there. It’s just the shop owner who doesn’t really want to die tonight. If you need something, just come out here and ask for it.”

What would the Queen parents do? His dad would blow his way out of there, but Felicity would ask for help. The best option at the moment seemed to be the latter. “We know him. He’s nice. Let’s go.” He stepped out of the shadows, his hands raised. “Bill, it’s a couple of the Cartleton siblings. We’re in some trouble.”

“The Carletons…my God, kids. We sent everyone out yesterday to figure out what happened. We thought you were all dead.”

“We’re not, and we can’t tell you what’s going on, but we need a couple things from the store.”

Bill, who had to be at least eighty, walked forward and let out a string of swear words. He touched Ellie’s injured cheek. “What happened to you? I can’t believe anyone would want to hurt any of you. Your family is so nice. But you said you needed some stuff from the store. Let’s go.” He unlocked the door and led them into the back. “You can have whatever you want.”

“We have some money.” He raised it in the air, but Bill waved it away.

“No, your house was blown up. Clearly you need some stuff.”

“We really only need a tablet and a WiFi router or hotspot.”

“Thankfully I have that.” He pulled an older version of an i-Pad off the shelf and then a hotspot. “You sure you don’t need anything else? Because―”

“We need to go, or you could get hurt.” Ellie nudged William towards the door. “We could use some bandages if you have any around here.” They took the first-aid kit he handed them and left before he could ask another question. Neither of them said anything until they were back at Archer’s cabin. William pulled the helmet off his head, wincing when it pulled against his injuries. “If the Bratva touches him…”

“They won’t.”

He left it at that, but his brain kept coming up with ways good ol’ Bill could die. If they did kill him, he could only hope that it would be quick. William tried to shake away the thoughts, but they wouldn’t go away. In fact, the pulsing of his ‘danger’ scale just increased as he stepped back into the house. “We’re back.”

“They’re alive!” Annie ran at him and gave him a hug that hurt his stomach. William looked past her to Felicity. She sat on the crappy couch, a fringe blanket wrapped around her shoulders. A little bit of color had returned to her cheeks, probably thanks to the cup of coffee that she held. “Hey, Mom. How’re you doing?”

“Much better. Archer made me coffee, so I have my head back a bit.”

“Sure he didn’t put marijuana in it or something?”

“And here I was beginning to think that Oliver’s way of acting didn’t rub off on you.” Felicity set her cup down and reached out to catch the box that contained the tablet. She pulled it out and went to work. William sat down on a rickety chair and dumped out the contents of the first-aid kit. “Anyone need bandaging up?”

Piper dropped down onto the floor next to him and pulled off her hat. “Could this be fixed?”

                                                *******

She could do this. Just like all the other things she’d done in the past four years that she never thought possible. Contact Cisco, get Oliver on his way here, and she could rest knowing that they would be okay. As her page loaded, she watched Ellie and William patch everybody up. One cleaned the wounds while the other bandaged. At least she had them. They’d both grown up a lot, from one turning his dad in to now being the family’s best line of defense. Ellie would blame herself for all of this. They’d been tracked because of the phone calls, but this had been a long time coming. Felicity could only say a thousand prayers of thanks that she’d rigged her tablet to detect a bomb or anything like that.

“Can I cuddle with you?” When she nodded and opened her arms, Annie settled down, mostly on top of her. She put her hands on her belly and whispered, “Hey, baby. It’s your big sister. Don’t come out yet, okay? This house isn’t very nice.”

Felicity stifled a giggle and kissed Annie’s hair. “Don’t worry, honey. This baby needs a lot more time in my tummy before he or she will come out.”

“It’s a girl. I know it.”

“Okay. Now Mommy needs to do some hacking, so you gotta be still.” She opened up a window that would give her access to Cisco’s computer. That would be the best way to do it, without anyone catching the traffic. The only issue was that her friend had a million and five firewalls on his computer―a good thing, actually―and getting through them all would give her a migraine, especially since this tablet didn’t have any of her desired apps that she’d used for years.

“Mom, you look a little frustrated. Anything we can―”

“No, Ellie, there’s nothing you can do. Except maybe go dig through the wreckage and piece together my tablet. I think…” she typed in another code and bit her lip to avoid swearing when the error message popped up again. “I think everybody should try to sleep a little bit. There’s not much that even I can do right now, and when I do get it done, I’ll need everyone to be rested. That includes both of you.”

The oldest two made faces, but after sharing a look, they nodded. Ellie lifted Annie off Felicity’s lap. “We’ll at least cuddle for a while.”

Clayton, who hadn’t said more than a few words since they got here, looked at her, tears in his eyes. “What happens if they come?”

Oliver should be addressing their fears, not her. She signed on to be the nanny knowing she could calm fears about thunderstorms, crushes, and everything in between. But not this. What was she supposed to say? That it wouldn’t happen? Because that could be a lie. Or maybe they wouldn’t find them. Felicity sighed and took off her glasses. “Annie and Piper, why don’t you―”

“I want to hear this too.” Piper crossed her arms, and the littlest followed suit. “We’re older now.”

“Okay.” _Help me._ “We don’t know what could happen. In all honesty, everyone could live to be a hundred and twenty, or we could all die tomorrow. We don’t know, and neither does anybody else, even if they’re not in a situation like this. So really, there’s nothing to be scared of, because this is just life. _But_. We are in a situation like no other, and with that comes a few things we need to at least talk about.

“We’re gonna be here for as short of a time as possible.” William looked thrilled with that idea. “The longer we stay in one place, the easier the Bratva will find us.” That’s what really happened; they’d stayed in one spot for too long. Got settled in, and thought they could live like that. “Right now, I’m contacting Cisco, and he’s gonna get your dad here. And if something happens in the next day or two, William, you’re the one with the bow. Ellie and Archer, I want you with guns. I’ll get everyone out of here, because no one wants me with a weapon. Everyone got that?”

“Yep.” Ellie steered Annie to the other room. “Now it’s time for bed.”

Archer stayed out in the living room with Felicity. “I’m assuming you’d prefer I stay out of your daughter’s room.”

“If you don’t want an arrow through your heart, yep.” She looked up from her tablet to see his shocked face. “There’s a reason why no one wants me with a weapon. I’m dangerous.”

“I don’t doubt that. Actually, you seem scarier than your husband.”

Felicity smirked. “There’s a reason why we all want him here, and it’s not just because we all love him so much.” She continued to crack through the firewalls, mentally counting how many she had to go. After number twenty-five, she dropped her head back against the cushions. Why did it have to be this hard? And why did she drop her tablet? This would be ten times easier if she had that one. It was her first baby, programmed to fit her needs. This one…this was like her first boyfriend.

Didn’t really work right.

“Can I get you more coffee or something?”

“No.” She resumed hacking, muttering things about Cisco and his unnecessary firewalls. “Me high on coffee is worse than being high on cocaine. Maybe. Actually, I really don’t think so. It’ll probably give you a good idea about how I would act, though. Not very adult-like.”

“Would you like some tea instead?”

“Archer, dear,” oh, William would love to hear this. “I really just need quiet. Mostly so I can swear and hear myself do it, and it’ll make me feel better. I’m honestly under a lot of pressure right now and talking is not going to make anything better. So thank you for the offers, but maybe you should try to sleep as well.”

He nodded and stood up. “Sorry. I’ll leave now.”

“No, wait.” She would blame all of this on pregnancy hormones. “Can you stay? Just…don’t say anything. Just be here to keep me company.”

“O-Okay.” He grabbed a book and sat down on the ground.

Felicity drew her knees up to her chest and set the tablet down. She had two options. Either send a distress call to Star Labs that could be picked up by any hacker working for the mob, or spend hours going through Cisco’s firewall to send him a personal note that the Bratva wouldn’t pick up. It shouldn’t be a question as to what option she should do, but right now, the first option dangled in front of her, tempting her. It would take ten minutes. Five, maybe. Then she could rest.

Her eyes glanced to the rags on the floor, stained with blood. Her kids’ blood.

She would hack all night if it meant they would be safe. Felicity typed in an old code she’d used in her college days, and started the program that would hack all of the easy to medium security walls that Cisco had up, while leaving the most difficult ones to her. At least she had her memory.

And Ellie’s not-actual boyfriend as company. 

                                                *******

“So how is that supposed to help us?”

“Oliver, you need to shut up.”

“Okay, but you’ve been at this for hours and we’ve gotten―”

“ _Mr. Queen_.” Cooper turned around and sent him a glare. “If I was your wife sitting here, hacking, would you be this annoying, whining about how she hasn’t gotten this done yet?”

“If my wife were sitting here, you’d still be in prison.”

“I’d prefer that right now. If you’d like anything, go sit on the bed and don’t talk to me. Or maybe you should go work out. You look like a haunted man.”

He was, and working out wouldn’t help this time around. No drug or drink would help either. The pain was just too great, and every time― _all_ the time―when he remembered what had happened, it suffocated him. He couldn’t get in a full breath, and this time, he sank down to the bed and dropped his head into his hands. _You’re okay._ Felicity’s words echoed in his head. _Breathe, Oliver. Breathe._

“If you pass out, and I’m left to do the revenging, it won’t look great.”

Oliver dropped back on the bed and closed his eyes. “Just hack.”

“Okay, well, I got some information. This is our last guy, by the way, so fitting he’s somebody you would be interested in. C’mere.”

He groaned when he stood up. His hips cracked at the slightest movement. The disadvantage of being a vigilante for years. Everything seemed to hurt no matter what he did. Oliver crossed his arms and leaned over Cooper’s chair. “So what’d you find?”

“This guy, Alan Walker, has been working for your family’s company for six years. Sounds great, but this guy…jeez, he’s been all over the world. Russia, Spain, Italy…all those lovely places. He owns a private jet, and he’s got bank accounts in all the places that you said you had them.”

“That’s not convincing enough.”

“On June sixteenth, which is the day after Thea was kidnapped, two million was transferred from a bank in the middle of Russia, to his account that is in Starling.”

Good enough for him. “And where does this guy live?”

“Starling City, which means you need to either run fast or fly. It also means that you need to put me back in prison.”

“I still need your help.”

Cooper turned in his chair and spread his hands. “I should be happy I’m out of there, but I don’t want to be a criminal anymore. I know you need my help to get revenge, and I understand that. But I just got my life back together, and now you’re wrecking it. If you truly want to keep people from getting hurt, then you need to return me.”

Oh, he knew it. Felicity wouldn’t approve of this, and he shouldn’t either. He dragged an innocent man―in this situation―out of prison and forced him on his crusade. Which wasn’t really a crusade. It was to hide from the truth: his family was dead and he couldn’t do anything about it. But it didn’t stop him. He was too far gone; too far shattered. Oliver sighed. “I’m sorry, Cooper. I really am. But I can’t just put you back in there, because then I won’t have anyone to help me.”

 He took a deep breath that hitched. “They were my life. And I can’t…I can’t just let them die in vain. Do you understand that?”

“Yes, I do. And if you go and get me a peace offering in the form of coffee, I’ll continue to help.”

Oliver nodded and left the room. He let out a long sigh and trudged downstairs. The baseball cap pulled low over his eyes did its duty; no one recognized him. No one would think that Oliver Queen would be staying here. Or that he would look like this. He grabbed two cups of coffee and dropped several chocolate chip muffins in a plastic bag. Cooper looked like someone who would like them. He sighed and ran the stairs up to the tenth floor. At the top, he stopped and winced. His leg didn’t like that.

He used his card to get back in the room, and pushed open the door.

Set the cups of coffee on the table.

Dropped the bag of muffins on the bed.

And knelt at Cooper’s body.

They’d slit his throat. Quick and easy. He likely hadn’t felt a thing.

He lowered his head and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He’d killed another person. Another one who could have lived a long life. In prison, yes, but he would have lived. Oliver collapsed to the ground, his back resting against the desk, his feet by Cooper’s body. What could he do? The Bratva killed his family, taking away his heart. And now they’d taken everything else.

He reached up and pulled the computer onto his lap. They’d wiped it, except the address that Cooper had written on a piece of paper and stuck in the drawer. A little luck. Or miracle. And they hadn’t taken Felicity’s tablet, which he stuck in his pillow.

He packed his things in a bag, wrapped Cooper in a sheet and carried the bag and the body down the stairs. It didn’t bother him that he had a body with him. What made him almost sink to the ground was the body that he laid in the back. He’d had enough death. Enough killing. But now he’d have to do it again, even if the thought caused bile to rise in his throat.

He dumped Cooper’s body in an alleyway, along with a note that would make the death seem like a guy annoyed at someone’s hacking skills. No one would ever know. Except him. _I’m sorry._ And this was why he would never ask anyone else’s help. Ever again.

                                                ******

“Yes! I’m in! I mean, I’m not _in_ , in. I got in!” She pumped her fist in the air, wincing when Archer shifted on the floor at her feet. _Sorry._ But her tablet clock now read five thirty, and when she started, it said eleven thirty. Her eyes stung, and she’d peed a total of thirteen times since she turned her tablet on.

_Cisco, our house was blown up. We’re fine, but we need Oliver._

The door opened and Clayton stepped out, attempting to slide his glasses on his face. “Mom, what are you doing?”

“I got into Cisco’s computer!”

“Have you been…sitting here the whole time?”

“Yes.” When his mouth gaped open, she shrugged. “Is it bad?”

“You cannot be up for seven hours straight. You’re pregnant.”

“And?”

He let out a long sigh. “And I think you should go sleep.”

“I’m not sleeping until we’re safe.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so. You’re not gonna be able to do any saving if you can barely see out of your glasses. Now maybe you should―”

Something binged.

_Felicity! He left three days ago._

“Oh, God.”

“What’s wrong?” Ellie came out of the room, followed by William. “Mom, what’s happening―”

Felicity tried to force the images out of her head, but that wasn’t happening. Oliver standing there, at the edge of where the house used to be, crying. Thinking his family was dead. It sure looked like it. “We have to get back to our house. Your dad already left, and he’s likely been there. We need to track him down because if we don’t…he’ll think we’re dead.”

“If he left three days ago, then he already thinks we are.” Ellie dropped to the couch next to Felicity and put her feet on Archer’s stomach.

William’s eyes narrowed.

“Maybe. Maybe not. But we need to get back to the house. And oh, frack. Cisco, why would you do that? Not you. Dig. Well, obviously there’s a reason why you’d do that, but why?”

“Can you explain please?”

She looked up from her tablet to see all the kids standing around her, foreheads crinkled, and faces drawn. “Diggle and Lyla gave Oliver an A.R.G.U.S. plane to bring back here that is untraceable, even at my skill level. Which means that we have no way of contacting your dad.” Annie burst into tears and buried her face in Felicity’s shirt.

“I don’t want Daddy to think that we all died.”

“He’s not going to for long, because we’re going to find him.” Felicity rubbed Annie’s back as she cried. “It’s gonna be okay, sweetie. We all have each other, and we’ll get your daddy back. I promise.”

“Maybe we―

An alarm blared. Archer shot up. William ran for the bow, while Felicity pushed herself up, wincing when a hundred guns fired in her head. “What the heck is that noise?”

“It’s my proximity alarm.” Archer grabbed binoculars from a shelf.

William tossed the quiver over his shoulder. “Do you even know what that means?”

“Please be quiet.” He needed to work on his hatred, but now was not the moment. She pushed her son out of the way and got to Archer’s side. “Okay, what’s going on? You gotta talk to me.”

His hands shook as he lowered the binoculars. “There’s…there’s someone coming.”

“Ellie, I need you to get everyone in the truck.” Felicity raised the binoculars to her eyes. Bratva. They’d found them. “William, I need you at a point where you can defend us if necessary.” Annie and Piper went past her to the ‘garage’. Harper ran by, loading a pistol. Felicity didn’t bother yelling about that. Only prayed for their safety. And a miracle. They couldn’t call for help. They _were_ the help.

“Everyone’s in!” Ellie yelled from outside. “Mom, let’s go!”

She looked at Archer, who continued to stand there, blank-faced. “Let’s go, buddy.”

“No, this is a fight that doesn’t involve me.”

“It’s a fight that will end in your death if you don’t come, so get your butt in the car. _Now_!”

He glanced around the room, but she grabbed his arm and yanked him towards the truck. Ellie sat in the driver’s seat, glancing around with wild eyes. Felicity took the shotgun and started her tablet. They needed to find somewhere to go. She’d been so distracted with contacting Cisco that she didn’t even plan this next part. “Just drive, Ellie. There’s nothing that we can do. Just go.”

“I gotcha from the back!” William yelled from the truck bed. Ellie backed out of the makeshift garage and roared down the gravel road. Their lives could end any second. Any moment and Oliver wouldn’t have any family left. That couldn’t happen. It would destroy him, and not just because they would be dead. He would lose his lifelines. The ones who kept him from falling off the cliff. Even now, in the midst of danger, her heart ached for him. Not her. She’d be fine; death terrified her, but it didn’t cripple her. But Oliver….

“God, keep us safe.” She whispered the prayer as she turned around. Four of the kids sat in the back, crouched underneath so that bullets wouldn’t hit them. William slumped in the far back, gripping the bow so hard his knuckles were white. Oliver had taught him well, but he hadn’t shared with any of them how to stay calm in a situation like this. Ellie clutched the wheel, her eyes flitting left and right every few seconds.

And Archer…poor guy lay next to William, unmoving. Kid only wanted a kiss from Ellie and ended up running from the Russian mob.

Though technically they were both in the same boat, because she only needed some money to make sure she didn’t get evicted from her apartment.

What a different plan life had for her.

“Alright, guys.” She turned her attention back to her tablet. “We need a way out of here.”

“I’ve got an idea.” William handed the bow to Archer and turned around so he could yell her his plans. She likely wouldn’t like it. “From what we saw, there’s two vehicles searching for us. I blow them up, and it gives us an extra ten hours or so.”

No, she hated it. Felicity scrunched her nose, listening to all the warning bells blaring in her brain. If only they’d shut up. “I don’t know…”

“I don’t care if you don’t know or don’t want to. It’s our only option!”

“It’s either that or we try to outrun them.” Ellie shrugged. “There’s two options, and you’re gonna have to decide which one is less worse.”

Oh, she needed her husband. Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and grumbled several swear words. She couldn’t think about the consequences of William blowing up two cars filled with humans. They were bad people, and though the ache in her heart just got worse, she nodded. “Okay. Do it, and then we need to get the heck out of France.”

“Out of France?” Piper shot up. “But I don’t―”

Harper shoved her back down. “Quiet! We don’t need to hear about how you don’t want to do things.”

“Ellie, slow down and then drive for about a mile.” William yelled the words as he checked the quiver. “Don’t come back until you hear two explosions!”

“Dad would kill us if he knew what we were doing,” Ellie muttered, but as she slowed down, something like a smirk spread across her face. “But what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Maybe them, though. Felicity watched as William jumped from the back of the truck. He slipped on the muddy ground, but recovered and skirted into the forest. Ellie winced but sped up. “How hard would it be to get back to Starling? Is that a viable option?”

“With no money?”

“There are…ways to get some.”

“If you’re talking about dancing, this pregnant lady is not doing that, and neither are you.” Felicity winced when Ellie’s eyes bulged. “Okay, sorry. We’re just going to forget that I even mentioned that.” When they slowed to a stop about a mile ahead of William, she shifted in her seat and looked at the girl who’d been too scared to pick up a bow for a full year, worried that it would cause harm to someone. Something had changed though. Big time. “Are you suggesting that we steal?”

“How else are we going to do anything? We have a total of five hundred dollars. Euros. That won’t get us anything or anywhere.”

“Mommy?” Annie tapped Felicity’s shoulder. “What’s happening right now?”

“Yeah, I’m trying really hard not to cry but this is scary.” Piper sniffed. “Can’t they stop chasing after us?”

“What did we ever do to make them mad?” The littlest intertwined their fingers. “How about we apologize?”

“Apologizing won’t really help this situation, honey. And no one ever did anything. They’re just bad people.”

“The Bratva’s after us because―”

“That’s enough, Clayton.”

Annie screamed when something exploded. Felicity opened the car door and stared at the flames. The second explosion rocked the truck. She took a deep breath and tried not to imagine the bodies burning. If William witnessed that… “I want everybody out of here but Ellie. Archer, stay with the kids.” She walked around to the driver’s seat. “Let’s switch places. I would rather you be able to close your eyes if there’s something gross.”

“And William can see it?”

After the kids plus Archer left the truck, Felicity went back down the road. She let out a long sigh. “You should know that the only reason I’m allowing him to do this is because we are in a position right now that could end in death. I don’t want that to happen, so that means we need to sacrifice a few things. One of them is our innocence.”

“And you won’t let us do a little stealing that could save our lives?”

“I’m letting William blow up two cars that belong to the Bratva. I’m not letting any of us rob an innocent person. Holy crap. He really took care of this.” She slowed down as they rounded the corner. This wasn’t anything she wanted to see. “William?”

The back door opened and he slid in, his face and clothes dirty from the explosion. The bow dropped to the ground, and he closed his eyes. Felicity shifted the truck into drive and pulled away from the mess. It wasn’t the time to talk about it. They needed to take advantage of what William did, and find a safe place. “Ellie, I think we’re going to the city. We’ll get a hotel room, and figure out what to do.”

Ellie’s gaze flitted to the mirror and spent a moment watching her brother. When she replied, her voice had lost its strength. “Will we be able to stay under the radar if we do that?”

“Cuz the last thing we need is two hundred civilians to die as well,” William muttered.

She could ignore that for a little bit, couldn’t she? “They won’t find us if we’re careful.” They picked up the kids plus Archer who looked more terrified than any of the Queens, and started to the city. She did need money. Lots of it. Money for tickets, possible passports, a bigger car. Why hadn’t they gotten the money out of the box before everything blew up? There wouldn’t be any moral questions of where to get cash. It would take her ten minutes to get into a bank account and take a million dollars.

But like William said, it would cause civilians to get in the crossfires.

It took two hours of quiet before bickering started. The little ones whined about having to pee, while the older ones complained about the little ones whining. Archer’s eyebrows raised a few times, including when Harper yelled, “Yeah, well, Mama said that being pregnant causes you to pee a lot so maybe everyone’s _pregnant_!”

“But it’s hard to be pregnant when―”

“Oh, dear God, please no.” William groaned and slapped a hand over Piper’s mouth. “You’re too young to know that.”

Ellie sighed and looked in the review mirror at Archer. “Still want to date me?”

“You have a very interesting family. Much better than mine.”

“Funny.” William let out a humorless laugh. “I didn’t know you had one.”

“Buddy…” Felicity sent him a warning look.

“I actually do. Well, I did. They were killed in a car accident.”

Annie, who had to be sitting on his lap because her head could be seen in the mirror, did something that made Archer smile. “Our first mommy died in a car accident. And our baby sister. But now we have a new mommy and she’s gonna have a baby girl, so maybe you can get a new family.”

Archer’s eyes filled with tears. “Sometimes people can’t be replaced.”

“No, because Mama doesn’t replace our other mom, but she’s special and I love her, so I’m happy. Or…you could join our family.”

Oh, Annie. Felicity tried to hide her smile, but it didn’t work. Her little girl loved people with all her heart, and though she couldn’t understand everything about how people reacted yet, she understood how life _should_ work. Was there anything she could do, as a mother to preserve that? Her mom hadn’t been able to do that; could anyone? Not in this family. Or maybe she could. Not by not allowing them to do anything like William had just done, but by making their home a place like how little Annie envisioned life.

As they neared the city, Felicity handed Ellie her tablet. “Try to find us one of those tiny little inns that probably can’t afford security cameras, and the cheapest option out there.”

Two hours later, they stepped into a room barely as big as the mansion’s kitchen. Felicity wrinkled her nose at the smell. “Guess this is what we get for paying thirty-five euros. Hopefully they at least have running water?”

Piper ran into the bathroom, and thirty seconds later, squealed. “We have hot water! Hey guys, we got hot water!”

It was Christmas. In October. Felicity laughed as all the kids reacted. Even William grinned. They would have the opportunity to shower with heated water for the first time in two years. It wasn’t much, but it gave everyone a split second of excitement; a moment to celebrate. It was something they hadn’t done in a while, and the only thing she could do was smile and reach for her tablet. Maybe she’d have more luck happy and not stressed out.

“Hey, Mom?” Clayton took the tablet away from her. “We want you to shower first.”

“No, you guys figure that out and I’ll go last.”

“We figured it out and we want you to.”

“Honey, that’s really sweet.” She raised her voice so the others could hear her, though of course they could. It wasn’t like this room was big enough for that. “But I have things to do, and you guys should take advantage of the hot water.”

Piper flounced to the bed and crossed her arms. “Mama, we will drag you into the bathroom if you don’t get up now.”

Clayton nodded. “You can bring your tablet in there. We’re gonna watch TV.”

Tears sprang to her eyes as she stood up. Hormones. Definitely hormones. “Thank you. I will accept your offer, and go take a soak.” After shutting the door, she started the bath and pulled off her clothes. Boy, they could use a bath as well. She stared at herself in the mirror. Cuts above her eyes, a scrape down her left cheek. Blood even managed to get on her arms. Maybe it was one of the kids’. William and Clayton sustained most of the injuries meant for her when the bomb went off.

Her gaze tracked down her body to her stomach. Her fingers trickled along the skin that would eventually be stretched enough to contain a full-size baby. She turned to the side and cocked her head. Oliver had been right. There was a baby bump. Teeny, but something nonetheless. She smiled and tapped her tummy. “Hello, sweet baby.” She whispered the words to avoid the kids hearing. “We’ve had quite the crazy few days. But don’t worry. We’re all safe. Even your daddy.”

And hopefully that wasn’t the first lie she told her child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun chapter to write, because it was lots of Ellie and William, who are two of my favorite characters! Hope you enjoyed it! :)


	10. Chapter 10

Oliver slammed the door and started the sports car. He hadn’t intended to rent one, but it would keep the Bratva from using any traffic cameras to find him. He gulped as he looked around. He’d owned one for a long time, but never drove it. Turned out that Felicity enjoyed driving a sports car much more than he did. He closed his eyes and watched as his wife slid in the car, gave him a flirty wave, and sped off. Except now that picture ended in fiery flames. _Stop._ He shifted the car into drive and pulled onto the interstate. His tablet directed him to a hotel far enough off the grid that the ‘Arrow team’ wouldn’t find him, even when they heard about the kidnapping.

He checked in, deposited his belongings into the room, and left again. Cooper had given him the address for the QC employee who would know something. And if he didn’t, he would _make_ him know something. He needed his sister back with Roy and Laila. That was the first step, and the next―and last―would come after that all too easily.

When the sun disappeared, he slung his quiver across his back and grabbed his bow. The mask covered his entire face, but they would know as soon as he fired an arrow. Oliver broke through the first window, smashing into a table. He winced, and got to his feet. According to the floor plans of the house that he found on an old building site, the office would be around the corner.

“What do you want?” Alan screamed when Oliver yanked him out of his chair and pinned him to the wall. “What is with you vigilantes? Can’t there be just one causing trouble?”

“I’m not a vigilante.”

“You’ve got a bow!”

“And I’m very adept at it, so I would talk while you still can. Because after that, you’ll be screaming.”

“Do you seriously think I’m scared of you?”

Oliver gripped the man tighter as he struggled. “I know who you are.”

“And I know who you are, so at least we’re even.”

“June fifteenth.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell.”

He had to control himself. Alan would be dead in seconds if he didn’t reign the anger in. But the woman who normally told him to stop it now rested under eight feet of rubble. Oliver slammed the man against the wall again, causing him to attempt to double over. Which wasn’t happening. “That’s the day you kidnapped my sister!”

“Oh, that day. Why do you think it was me?”

“You know why.”

Alan rolled his eyes. “Do you seriously think I’m going to give you any information? Because I’m not. There’s nothing that you can do to me that will bring me to say anything, so you might as well leave now.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me where Thea is.”

“Then you’ll be here until after she dies and then some. And after your family rots in the graves you pre-built.”

_Get it out of your head._ People had said worse, but the words suffocated him tonight. He loosened his grip on Alan for a moment and took a deep breath. Felicity wouldn’t want him to do this, but she wasn’t here to stop him anymore. In a fluid motion, he reached back to his quiver and drove an arrow through Alan’s leg. His knees buckled, but Oliver didn’t let him move. “Tell me where Thea is or you get an arrow in your other leg!”

“Like I said…you’re not going to get anything from me. I’m trained like you. I know… how to withstand torture of any kind. Pain doesn’t affect me.”

There was nothing he could do. Maybe if he owned a torture chamber. Oliver kept his hold on Alan, but released his strength. “You have to tell me where she is. Sh-She’s…she’s my sister. And she has a family.” Like he had. “You have to understand.”

“Oliver Queen. Begging.” Alan laughed. “This should be recorded for our entire organization to hear. We were right with our assumption that the death of your family would drive you insane.”

“I’m not insane.”

“Would your wife enjoy seeing you right now?”

“ _Daddy_!”

Oh, God. Oliver didn’t turn around, only moved in front of the arrow protruding from the girl’s father’s leg. He hadn’t found information about a child. Or children. What if they saw this? “Get out.” He lifted his hand and gestured to the door. The little girl didn’t listen. She ran into the room and screamed.

“Daddy! Daddy, what’s going on?”

“Honey, don’t you worry about this.” Alan’s face turned to gray. “I don’t want you to see this, honey. Go outside.”

“No!” Her hand hit Oliver’s hip. “Get away from my daddy!”

He glanced down at the little girl. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Her piggy-tails sagged down as she started crying. She bit her lip to stop the tears, but it didn’t work. Just like how Annie tried to calm herself down to no avail. It actually made the crying worse. And the piggy-tails. His little girl loved those, even though they caused tears every night when they were taken out.

“You gotta let him go!” She whacked him again. This time it created a stinging sensation. Alan didn’t move, and Oliver didn’t budge. “I said let him go!”

A fist jammed into his face. Oliver stumbled backwards and reached down for his bow, but Alan stepped on his hand, crushing it. He groaned and swung his free arm up, catching flesh. It knocked the man backwards, freeing his hand. Pain shot up all the way to his neck, but he grabbed his bow and fired an arrow at Alan’s arm, pinning him to the desk. He reached behind him and yanked the little girl in front of him. “If you don’t want to see your daughter laying at your feet, then tell me where my sister is!”

Alan yanked against the arrow, but he wouldn’t make it out in time to save his daughter. “You wouldn’t dare.”

He could never do something like this, but he needed to pretend he could. “Don’t underestimate a grieving man, Alan. And you’ll be one in thirty seconds.” He pressed an arrow head to the girl’s neck, turning it to the side to keep the weapon from drawing blood. He steeled his face when she screamed and slammed her hand back against his arm. “ _Tell me_!”

“Daddy―”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Alan raised his free hand. “I’ll tell you. Just let her go.”

“ _After_ you tell me.”

“She doesn’t need to know this.”

“Yes, she does.” An image flashed in his mind. The horror on his kids’ faces when they learned what he’d done. The handcuffs clipping around his wrists and the realization that his son turned him in. Even his six-year-old refused to visit him in prison for months. What would he do to this family? He’d killed his own. Would the same to happen to this one? His eyes flitted down to the girl, crying in his arms, and Alan, pinned to the desk. He’d caused enough pain. But not enough, because he still didn’t know where Thea was. “Where did you take her?”

“I took her to the airport, and passed her onto two Bratva agents. Don’t…didn’t know who they were. They said that the big boss thanked me for doing what I needed to do.”

“And who’s the big boss?”

“Daddy, who’s the Brat―”

“Quiet, Lizzy.”

For some reason, right now it sounded like ‘Ellie’.

Alan huffed. “You were a trusted, high-level member of the Bratva and you didn’t know who runs the Bratva. Do you think I would?”

“You seem pretty high up to me.” He loosened his grip on Lizzy, but she didn’t stop crying. Why would she? He knew the terror of being held with no way out. Death could happen at any second. Why couldn’t he tell her that he wasn’t going to hurt her? She deserved to know.

“Only a few people know who the leader is, and you killed one of them.”

“Anatoly. When did you take her to the airport?”

“June fifteenth. I kidnapped her and brought her straight to the hangar.”

“What hangar was it?”

“A private one.”

Oliver jerked Lizzy back against him, causing her to scream again. “I’ll kill her.”

“Fine, fine. It was under the name of Jerry Daxton.”

“He’s dead.”

“Doesn’t stop anybody. You of all people should know that. Now listen to your dead wife and let go of my daughter.”

“And how do you know that Felicity would disapprove of this?”

Alan chuckled. “I knew her, remember?”

“Where do you report? Tell me a lie and I’ll come back and―”

The man turned, wincing at the movement, and wrote something on a piece of paper. “There you go. It’s here. Now please let her go.”

Gladly. Every second he held the girl against him she became more like Annie. She needed a hug, and so did his daughter. He followed Alan’s gaze to the ground. As soon as Lizzy left his arms, the man would go for the gun, and he would have a hard time getting out of here alive. A bullet to the head wasn’t what he deserved. Oliver turned his body and took three steps towards the door, Lizzy still in his possession. His hand was almost useless, but it needed to work for him one more time.

Alan made the first move, going for the gun with no regard for his daughter in the room. Oliver shoved her to the ground to keep her from bearing his punishment and jumped to the side to avoid a bullet in the head. He gritted his teeth and fired an arrow a few feet in front of him, setting off a smoke screen. His hand screamed in protest as he ran down the hallway and jumped out of the window he came in

Somehow, he made it back to the hotel room before his body gave out. He collapsed onto the bed and covered his face with his good hand, his limp one at his side. What had he done? Threatened to kill a little girl who wore pig-tails. Who looked like Annie. Because he needed information. When had he ever done that?

He sat up and looked at his hand. Broken. Just like him, but there was no way to heal this. He needed to get Thea back and take down the Bratva before he didn’t anything else that involved threatening a little girl. What would Felicity think of him now? She’d be disappointed in him. They all would.

                                                       *******

It had taken almost two days, but now he was fully clean. William changed into the new clothes that Felicity bought him, thankful for the sans blood outfit. He leaned against the sink and lifted his hair from his forehead. It covered up the wound from the explosion well. No one would be able to tell that he’d been shot at, blown up, and that he’d blown people up as well. Which he couldn’t think about right now, or he would throw up again. Good thing it took his sister and mom a minute or two to pick him up because he spent forty-five seconds retching. He hadn’t been prepared for the smell of human flesh burning.

“You all done in there?” Harper knocked on the door. “I gotta go pee.”

He opened the door and gave her a bow. “Room’s all yours.”

His mom sat on one of the almost-rock-solid beds, going at it on her tablet. She’d spent the past day staring at the little screen. If they had any more money, he would go buy her an actual computer, but they didn’t. Half of it was spent on new clothes, and the other half would eventually be spent on hotels.

“How’s it feel to be clean?” Felicity smiled at him for a split second before returning to her work. William gave her a thumbs-up, even though she couldn’t see it.

“How’s whatever you’re doing coming along?”

“Depends on if the little kids are in the room or not. Which they are right now, so it’s rough. If they weren’t….”

There would be more swear words. William dropped in the middle of the second bed, dislodging Clayton from the edge. “Maybe we should go rob a bank.”

“Over my dead body.”

“Yeah, well, it’s gonna be over all of our dead bodies if we don’t do something soon.” Ellie covered her mouth when Annie gasped. “Sorry! That wasn’t what I meant. I just think we need money.”

“I’m working on that.”

“How is that possible?”

“Thankfully, the Queens are still very rich.”

Harper came out of the bathroom, her eyebrows knitted. “Won’t it be obvious that we’re trying to get cash?”

“It _can_ , definitely. But what I’ve been working on for the past day is a fan site for the Queens. It’s been worked on for seven years or so, and this girl, who happens to be a really good hacker and likes to leave her footprints all over her posts, is obsessed with the Queens. Mainly Oliver. All the posts written about him are true, by the way. Which none of you needed to know. But this girl just hacked Oliver’s bank account and withdrew two million, leaving a dramatic note. It’ll take the Bratva a long time to figure that one out, and by then we’ll be in Starling.”

The whole family gave her a round of applause. She deserved more―a week in Bali, preferably―but right now they could only give her and their baby brother or sister a hot bath and twenty seconds of clapping. William lifted the covers, wincing when he spotted the blood stains. There were two options about where that came from, and the first idea that popped in his head made him cringe.

“There is something that we all need to do.” Felicity set her tablet to the side. “We’re going to fly commercial. I’m going to contact the team in Central City so that they’re at the gates, waiting for us. There’s just no other options. But to do that, we need to look a lot different than we look right now.”

“Are you saying that…” Piper’s eyes lit up. “We get to dye our hair?”

“Yes, we do. Everybody needs to look different. I already bought everything that we’ll need, including scissors and dye.”

Yeah, could he just not be a part of this family for a little bit? William made a face when Annie got the bag and pulled out several boxes of hair dye. Was he expected to do this too? Everyone else, giggling and laughing―even Clayton―picked out their colors and began preparing. William looked at the packages. All women’s hair. Would this make his look like Ellie’s? “Mom?”

“I know you’re going to complain, and I’m going to have to kindly tell you to shut up and take your medicine. I have to dye my hair too, and I haven’t been this color for a very, very long time, and it brings back a lot of bad memories.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re forgiven.” Felicity ruffled his hair and slid off the bed. “Everyone needs to look drastically different, which might mean that some people need their hair cut. I promise I’m better with the scissors than I am in the kitchen.”

“Cut it short!” Annie plopped on the ground and shook her hair out. “Can you do that?”

His dad would have a heart attack when he saw them again.

William finally relented and let Felicity trim his floppy hair, and then dip it in black dye. It looked terrible. But Harper’s looked worse, and when he told her that, she punched him. They decided to switch hotels to avoid any problems, but halfway across town, Felicity pulled their beat-up truck into an alleyway. William scooted as far as he could forward so he could look at the building. Tall, brick, with lots of windows missing on the upper stories. A few smoke stacks that looked ready to fall any moment. “Um, what are we doing?”

“We need passports, and after careful searching, I found the perfect place.”

“This looks really illegal.”

“Well, because it is very illegal, dear.” Felicity tossed them a smile. “Now when we go in there, don’t be overly concerned, and don’t look around. Then you won’t be overly concerned. And don’t spill anything. Got it?”

They walked in together, but their sweet, pregnant mom took charge. “Hi Jesse, I’m Mrs. Queen. I was the one who contacted you the other day about fake passports.” When the burly guy nodded and took the toothpick out of his mouth, she continued. “I’ll pay you a substantial amount, as long as they’re done perfectly and we make it through customs fine. And we also need them as soon as possible.”

“Okay, okay, I get it, ma’am. You’re one of the demanding, rich customers who think they are―”

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t be coming here if I didn’t have to, correct? This is an emergency, and we need them as soon as possible because it’s a life or death situation. So unless you want all of our deaths on your conscience, I would get yourself off your chair and get to work!”

William shared a look with Ellie, who raised her eyebrows. Clayton let out a low whistle that earned him a glare from his mom.

“Because of that, you can go first.” She pointed to the little room off to the side. “Go ahead, buddy.”

                                                            *******

It took three days to get the passports. Three days of glancing around, waiting for a bullet or a bomb to go off. After a skinny guy with a mustache delivered a box filled with fake but ‘real’ passports, Felicity bought eight plane tickets that would fly them into Central City. Barry and Diggle would be at the gates waiting for them. She finished the daily note to her baby and slid out of bed. It took her a few moments to figure out where everyone slept on the floor, but she picked her way out to the little porch without stepping on anyone’s head, which was a success.

She closed her eyes and soaked in the sunshine for a few minutes before going back into the room. Annie now lay in her spot, curled up next to Harper. “Hey, sweetie.” Felicity sat down on the bed and ruffled her cropped, black hair. They all looked so different with the hair change. And style. She gave herself a few bangs, but Annie demanded a boy-cut. It was cute, but shocking. _Poor Oliver_. “How’d you sleep?”

“I had a nightmare about…y’know, but I didn’t scream this time. So that’s good. Right?”

“Does that mean it wasn’t as scary?”

“No, it was still scary. But I’m figuring out how to not wake everybody up.”

She glanced down at the floor between the beds, where William slept. He’d pulled the covers over his head at the start of this conversation. He didn’t like to hear about Annie’s pain, because he still believed that he caused it. He’d inherited his father’s ability to take a situation and somehow twist it into something that was his fault. With a little smile on her face, she nudged him with her foot. He pulled the blankets down.

“What?”

“It’s still not your fault.”

“Yeah, Willie.” Annie reached down and whacked his arm. “It’s not your fault. You have to stop that.”

“Listen to the little kid, buddy.” Felicity stood up and clapped her hands. “Alright, kiddos. Our flight leaves at two this afternoon. Obviously there won’t be much to bring. Anything to bring, actually. But we need to be there at one thirty.”

“Shouldn’t we be there a lot earlier?” Ellie slid out of bed and nudged Archer, who hadn’t woken up yet.

William rolled his eyes.

“Normally we would, but I made sure that we can go through a special area that will get us to the gates a lot quicker. Archer, you okay?” She tried to hide a giggle when he lifted his head and blankly stared in front of him. Apparently getting up early wasn’t for him. Getting up at all, actually. She snapped her fingers at the oldest Queen boy, who reached for her tablet to get a video. “One is enough, sir.”

Archer continued to wake up, and when he spoke, everyone laughed at his groggy voice. “What time is it?”

“Nine. We’d be done milking cows by now.”

“Some of us need our sleep.”

When Clayton crossed his arms and took a step towards Archer, Felicity cleared her throat. “We aren’t playing that game. Your mother has hormones, remember? Fighting brings out the worst in me, and we need to get a game plan for what’s going to happen. Or what needs to happen if something happens. So if you don’t want to be a part of this conversation…go take a shower.” Unshockingly, no one left.

 

They would have twenty minutes. She could only feed the airport cameras old footage for so long, and hopefully it would be long enough. Four of the kids walked in front of her, doing their very best to look cocky and big, and she walked with the three younger kids behind them. Oliver told her to not look like she was running away when she was, but she couldn’t help but glance around as they walked towards the gates. They were defenseless here. As were a hundred other people.

“Bonjour, Madame!” A security officer smiled at them. “Parlez-tu anglais?”

Ever after two years in France she still had to think about what he said for a second. Boy she was looking forward to being home in an English-speaking country. “Uh, yes.”

“Perfect.” He and another officer scanned them, got them through customs, and send them on their way to the plane. When they settled into their seats, Felicity let out a long breath and dropped her head back. They made it through the first part. The hardest part, if she wanted to encourage herself. But the Bratva could catch on, and they could be waiting for them at the gates in Central City. Or they could make it to Star Labs, and then to Starling without a problem.

If only Oliver was here with them.

                                                            *******

Oliver sat up, a muted scream on his lips. He sucked in a breath and tried to regain control of the moment. Screaming. Blood. Couldn’t he get away from it? It was two in the morning, which meant he slept for a total of two hours. Last night it had been one. The night before two hours and fifteen minutes. A few years ago, the nightmares came sporadically. Often things that happened during the day would trigger them, and he’d wake up screaming. But now they came every time he closed his eyes.

He lowered himself back to the bed, wincing when he put too much weight on his hand. He hadn’t bothered to fix it up, just washed the blood off. There wasn’t anything in him that wanted to bandage anything up, and right now, he wanted to be anywhere but here. He dressed, grabbed the tablet and his weapons, and left. The hangar that ‘Jerry’ owned would be a half hour drive from here, but getting information would distract him.

He hoped.

Felicity often did that after he had a nightmare. Every now and then, they would be extra bad, and he would wake up half of the house in a tizzy. She would crawl on top of him and start kissing him. Her lips would trail down his face and neck until his breathing returned to a steady rate, but she didn’t move off him until he fell back to sleep. Often in the morning they would wake up in the same position.

She distracted him with kisses, but the only way he could distract himself was with revenge. Killing. Torture, apparently.

After parking, he walked to the hangar. They’d used this place recently. Likely ferrying men to Starling to prepare to take him down. Or flying to France. He’d been gone for two days. Long enough for the Bratva to do whatever they wanted to his family.

Bile rose in his throat. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? Maybe they didn’t die in an explosion. Maybe it was―“Stop!” _For God’s sake, stop!_ He pressed his hands on his head, squeezing his eyes shut to ward off whatever this was. Grief, yes. But this…unraveling. At this rate, he would be in an insane asylum before he got a chance to kill anyone. He had to stop. Shut his brain off, or there would be no justice.

He couldn’t do this right now. Oliver deposited his bow in the back of the car and found a baseball cap from the glove compartment. Ten minutes later, he shoved it on his head as he got out, and walked to the entrance.

A teenage girl smiled at him when the door chimed. “Good morning. I think. How are you?”

She was too young to know who she was speaking to. Oliver managed a smile and walked to the front. “Good. Listen, I just got done with work and I need to be able to stay up for a bit longer.”

“So you’d like a highly caffeinated drink.”

“Highly caffeinated, but I prefer black coffee.”

“How big?”

“The big one.” It had been a long time since he’d stepped in a coffee shop. “Whatever you have.” When she turned, he looked around. Whenever they got back from a business trip, his parents used to take him and Thea here, as an apology for being gone so long. It was after one of those trips here that he and his sister vowed that if they had kids of their own someday, they would never leave them for long amounts of time.

He’d spent years avoiding his kids, and after two years of being there for them, he’d left. And that’s what killed them. He’d been given the task as a father and as a husband to protect his family. And he failed. There were no do-overs. _I’m sorry._ He almost said it out loud, but the girl set the cop of coffee on the counter, springing him from his head. “Th-thank you. How much is it?” When she gave him the price, he handed her a ten. “Keep the change.”

“Are you―”

“Have a good day.” He waved and left. Better to get out of there before the Bratva found him and killed the girl.

Ten deaths on his hands was enough.

                                                     *******

Felicity watched as Central City’s landscape came into view as the plane descended. She could almost smell it. Not the freedom but the beauty of being home. Technically home was in Starling but this would do for a bit. Better than France, at least. She turned her attention to the kids. Annie slept next to her, Piper and Clayton watched a movie in the row next to them, and William and Ellie played a card game on their laps. Archer sat next to her and Annie, staring at a brochure about babies.

“Hey, sweetie.” Felicity kissed Annie’s forehead to wake her up. “We’re almost here.”

“And we’re not dead yet?”

She decided it would be best to not look at the reactions from strangers. “No, we are not. And the plane is going to land fine. Don’t worry.” She put away her tablet and passed a pile of jackets to the other rows so they could get off the plane as soon as they could. Half an hour later, they stepped out into the daylight. Felicity tightened her grip on Annie’s hand as she scoured the area for their friends. “Alright kids, let’s―”

“Hey!” Someone touched her shoulder. She screamed and threw her elbow back. The man grunted, and then groaned. “Wow. That was a nice welcome.”

“Mom, I think you just hit―”

“Barry!” She whirled around and threw her arms around him. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought―”

“No, no, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have come up like that. Totally deserved it.” Barry pulled away, his cheeks spread wide. “I’d love to talk right now, but we’re better off getting everybody to official safety before that. So come on. We’ve got a van over here. And who’s this? You’re too old to be William. I think.”

“I’m Archer.” The kid extended his hand. “I kinda got involved in all of this, apparently.”

“Well, you’re in for a ride. Let’s go.” Barry scooped Annie up and lead the way to a black van. “Hop on in, please.” He winked at Felicity, and then disappeared in a red blur. Archer let out a panicked scream and tried to open the sliding door. Apparently she’d forgotten to mention the superpowers their friend had.

“Don’t worry; he’s just the Flash.”

“The Flash? Who the heck is that?”

In ten seconds, Felicity straightened her shirt out and did a count of the kids. Six. Seven, counting the kid puking into the garbage can. They were safe. _Thank you._ Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at everyone in the room. Caitlin, Cisco, Iris, Barry. And John Diggle. She couldn’t blame the hormones on her sobs when he pulled her into a hug. Maybe it was the terror, or the grief for what Oliver was feeling right now, but to have her old friend’s arms around her made her want to hold on and never let go. Finally, she felt safe. There were people who could protect them now.

“It’s so good to see you again,” she mumbled into his jacket. “And I’m sorry for crying.”

“It’s okay, Felicity.” He chuckled and loosened the hug so he could look at her. “You look really good.”

“Really? Because I’ve spent the past week getting blown up and shot at.”

“Still doesn’t hide your glow. And we’ve all missed you too.” He gave each of the kids hugs, but stopped at Archer. “And who are you?”

Ellie clasped her hands behind her back and swayed from side to side, her face turning pink. “To avoid any…awkward moments, I’m just going to introduce him as my not actual boyfriend, Archer.”

“No wonder Oliver sounded so stressed when he was here,” Cisco muttered as he came around the desk to give Felicity a hug. “Oh, and congratulations.”

“How have you been feeling?” After giving her a hug, Caitlin put her hand on Felicity’s stomach. “There’s definitely a baby bump growing.”

“I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time to think about anything involving our baby.” Besides the several sentences she wrote to him or her every morning, and every several minutes, when she remembered who was growing in her belly. Her own child. Who would be _hers_. “But we’re all getting excited.”

Barry clapped his hands. “Okay, so as much as I’d love to discuss birth plans and baby names, we have much more imminent things to talk about. First, Iris made dinner downstairs, and we got a couple new beds so everyone can sleep tonight. So maybe the kids can go eat now? And we can…discuss?”

“I’d like to stay.” Ellie crossed her arms. “William would too. But everyone else should go.” No one complained, which attested to the fact that they were all wiped out. It had been too long without a peaceful night sleep, and right now, her and the baby needed twenty-four hours in a bed.

She took the seat that Barry offered her, and stretched her legs out in front of her. Her heart thudded louder than normal―though this speed was rapidly becoming normal―as the questions got closer to being asked. She didn’t want to know the truth: that her husband thought they were all dead.

“I think you two should both leave the room for this.” Barry tipped his head towards the door. “This is…nothing anyone needs to hear.”

“But what if we want to hear it?” William glanced at Felicity. “If this is about―”

Oliver had done something, hadn’t he? Felicity closed her eyes and shook her head. “Go and eat, kids. If there’s something that they don’t want you to hear, then I trust them. So scoot.” They both rolled their eyes, but left. She waited until the basement door shut before clearing her throat. “What’s going on? And maybe you should start at the very beginning, because that’s a very good place to start, and because I know very little of what’s going on, besides the fact we’re all in danger.”

Barry sat down on the desk and crossed his arms. “Oliver left a week ago after freaking out that him leaving you guys would cause the Bratva to kill you.”

“Well, it almost did. But it wasn’t Oliver’s fault.”

“I don’t think he sees it that way.”

If it was possible for her heart to get any sadder, it did. “Do you have any idea where he is?”

“No, but this is why we wanted the kids to leave.” Barry helped her up and led her to the computers. “Four days ago, your ex-boyfriend was taken from his high security house-arrest home. Cooper, if you’re too tired to think.”

“And Oliver was the one who did it.” She watched the security footage of a masked man wearing a leather jacket break into the house and drag Cooper out with him. She recognized all of Oliver’s movements. But they were choppy versions of her husband, as if he wasn’t functioning right. “He thinks we’re dead. I’m sure he saw the remains of the house and ran.” They should have left something for him to follow. Just a tiny sign that they were okay.

“And yesterday, the feds found his body.”

Sadness wrapped around her. He did terrible things which including trying to kill her. But he still was one of her first crushes. One of the first boys she kissed. The idea that he was dead hit her harder than it should. Worse, his death could’ve happened because of her husband. “And you think it’s Oliver?”

“Maybe he wanted information and didn’t get it. So he―”

She leaned in closer to study Cooper’s slain body. “No videos were available?”

“He hid like a pro. This was the first information they got when they found his body.”

_Oh, sweetheart._ She sniffed hard to avoid tears. They would come anyways, because that’s how she worked right now, but she needed to be unemotional right now so that she could look at this situation as a detective, not as a wife and pregnant mother. “I know both of these men, so I guess I can make a pretty good judgment on this. For one, if Oliver wanted information, though it seems hard to believe that Cooper would know anything―oh. Duh.”

“What’s ‘duh’ about this?”

“I should’ve seen this sixty seconds ago. Oliver needs a computer genius. And since he thinks I’m dead, he decided to find the slightly less good version of me. And male version, obviously.”

“So did Oliver get mad at him and…slit his throat?”

“No.” She almost smiled as everything lined up. Sometimes it paid to pay attention to Oliver’s grumblings late at night when other women would have tuned out and fallen asleep. “The Bratva did. Look at his neck. Clearly that’s how he died. But there’s no other bruises on his body, and unless my husband is turning over a new leaf with psychological torture, there would be more blood.”

“Makes sense.” Diggle leaned against the desk, eyes squinting at the picture. “So what does Oliver need with a tech genius?”

“Probably because he knows that he’ll get to the Bratva sooner if he has a hacker with him. And now Cooper is dead.” She should be more heartbroken but the idea of Oliver out there, intending to get revenge on the Bratva for her and the kids’ deaths hurt her more. He loved them all so much; how could he function without them? Apparently not well, because he’d broken her ex-boyfriend out of prison. What was he thinking?

She took a deep breath and sank to an empty chair. “I don’t know what to do. They put a bomb on the house somehow, and we had a minute to get out of there. There was no way to leave any sign of life for him. We were holed up at Archer’s cabin for a day before they found us. And then we’ve been hopping hotels and getting fake passports done since then.” Her voice cracked as she plugged along with their story. How on earth had they survived? “I’m almost fourteen weeks pregnant and I feel like I’ve had zero time to cherish anything because I’ve spent my time trying not to die.”

They all just looked at her, their foreheads creased, eyes tender. But it didn’t make her feel any better. She wanted Oliver. While he relied on her for comfort and support, she relied on him for strength. It wasn’t that she didn’t have any; he had _more_. And now he wasn’t here to give her any of his. Felicity took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. Good thing she didn’t wear mascara today. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired and way too emotional. And the idea that Oliver’s out there…thinking we’re dead…”

“Felicity.” Diggle came to stand a few inches from her. She looked up at him, trying her best to hide her quivering lip.

“I’m okay, John. I promise.”

“No, I don’t think you are. And our problems aren’t going away, so I want you to get a little food and go to bed.”

“I’m not hungry.”

His face didn’t change. In fact, he smiled. Sadly. “Then you should go straight to bed.”

“Dig’s right.” Barry came around the desk to stand next to him. “You need sleep, Felicity. Not only for yourself, but for the baby, and for us. We need you clear headed, and you sound like you’re majorly sleep-deprived.”

“I am,” she grumbled. “And you’re right. I just have a hard time sleeping without…” how did she put this without making it sound terrible? _You’re married, you idiot._ “Oliver. I have a really hard time sleeping without him.”

“You need to at least try.” Caitlin gestured to the exit. “I’ll come with you and get you settled in.” They walked down the corridor, and into one of the bedrooms. Felicity set her bag on the floor and dropped to the bed. “Ooooh, this is nice. Really nice.” She opened her eyes to see her friend standing over her, smiling. “Do I sound pregnant?”

“No, you sound tired. Granted, I don’t know what a pregnant lady sounds like. But a little bit of sleep, and I think you’ll feel much better. Don’t worry about the kids. They’re in safe hands.”

Caitlin left, switching off the lights as she went. Felicity slid underneath the sheets without bothering to take her clothes off. One of the kids yelled about not having enough ketchup. Piper, likely. Clayton retorted something about ketchup not being a staple food, and that she should shut up. They were safe. Somewhere, Oliver was safe. Maybe not emotionally, but he was alive. That knowledge allowed her to close her eyes, the chaos in the eating area lulling her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!!! :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! At least I got it published today though! :)

They ripped him away from her. Fired a bullet into his head. He fell to the ground, blood exploding around them all. The kids screamed, continuing their begging to spare them; to save the baby. But she couldn’t do anything. Just watch them drag the kids away one by one.

“Mama!” Ellie grabbed her arm just as Felicity sat up to let out a scream. “You’re okay. You’re okay. _We’re_ okay.”

“I had a nightmare.” She sucked in air and gripped the edge of the bed to keep from shaking. _Ooooh, God, help._ “That…it felt so real.”

“I know it did, but everyone’s okay. We just had breakfast, and now people are showering. Enjoying the hot water.”

“Breakfast?”

“You slept a long time.”

So she accomplished that, but managed to have a nightmare that would have rivaled one of Oliver’s. Felicity relaxed back against the bed and closed her eyes. “Well, I had a really nice sleep, if that means anything. And I think I can now say more than three sentences without breaking into tears. And why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s just nice to see you more like yourself. It’s been awhile.”

“Twelve hours of sleeping can do that. How is everybody?”

“Much better today. I’ll meet you in the―”

“C-Could you just have everyone peek in here? Just so that I know that they’re safe?” That would get the images of her head, right? How did Oliver deal with these dreams? She didn’t have them very often; usually they were ones that woke her up but allowed her to fall asleep. This was different, though. Realistic, and something that wouldn’t go away. Annie came in first, and flopped down onto the bed.

“I just thought of something, and it makes me sad.” She stuck out her lower lip, which made Felicity laugh and run her hand through her little girl’s hair.

“What’s the issue?”

“They blew up my Little House books. Which means that I won’t be able to read any of my stories.”

“I bet we can find some new ones, honey. It’s nothing to be sad about.”

“I know, but those were special books. Daddy bought them for me.”

“Well, we could wait until we find Daddy and then he could buy you another set. How does that sound?”

Annie pursed her lips, and then nodded. “Okay. But we gotta find him soon, then.”

William knocked on the wall. “You wanted to see us?”

“I just wanted to get confirmation that you all were safe.” She pulled Annie onto her lap as the other kids entered the room. “I…I had a nightmare. Kind of like the one’s your dad has sometimes, and I needed to know everyone was safe.”

“Well, we’re all very safe, Mama.” Piper kissed her cheek. “And we are all very happy that you slept a long time. Barry let us watch a movie.”

“It was terrible,” Clayton pointed at his sisters. “Don’t tell her that it was any good, because that would be a lie.”

“No, it was very good.” Annie crossed her arms. “Musicals are always good, especially that one.”

Felicity laughed as she stood up and stretched. Her belly seemed more pronounced today. “Which one was it?”

“ _Singin’ in the Rain_.”

“He always watched that when he was depressed. What’s his problem?”

“Apparently Iris is mad at him.”

She hadn’t even asked about his relationship with his girl. Being too wrapped up in her problems, and being too tired. It wasn’t an excuse, though. She needed to be her old self―Felicity Smoak―for a little bit. Taking charge, and being sweet. The _Queen_ part of her name could come later. “Now that I know everyone’s safe, I’m going out to the lab part of this place. You can either come with me or do your own thing.”

“I’m gonna go shower again.” Piper waved and ran down the hall, followed by the other kids. Felicity combed her fingers through her hair and walked down the corridor to the official lair area. Only Barry sat there, in his Flash suit, staring at the computers. “Mornin’, Barr.”

“Hey, Felicity. Sleep well?”

“Very nicely.” No need to mention how she woke up. “It’s nice to know that I can fall asleep without Oliver next to me. Though it did take over a week before that happened.” She squinted at the pictures on the computer. “What are those of?”

“Oh, just a guy we’ve been trying to catch for a few weeks. He’s a speedster, and very annoying to deal with.” He clicked off the document and looked up at her. “Not something we need to worry about right now. Which brings me to the question we all have been wanting to ask: how are you feeling mentally?”

“Still frazzled, but that feeling isn’t going away for a very long time. Anything in particular you want to discuss?”

“It’s about Oliver. Well, not totally about him. He didn’t do anything overnight.”

“Jeez, Barry, you can’t worry the pregnant lady like that.” She pressed a hand to her heart, almost surprised to feel it still beating. “What about Oliver? And please tell me it has something to do with finding him.”

“Not necessarily, but it could be used.” Barry handed her a USB. “When Oliver came back to Starling, Cisco compiled this for you, and Roy gave it to Oliver. There’s a chance that he’s tried using it in some way. Maybe you can track him with it?”

“Can I use one of these computers?” She took his seat when he moved and plugged the USB in. “I doubt Oliver is going to use this thing. My skills are with computers, his are his muscles. And everything else that comes with it. Unless Cooper used it. Which he could have, but from the first glance, this thing is a piece of crap.”

“Hey, watch what you say about my work.” Cisco waltzed in, carrying three coffees. “I get offended easily.”

“Well, I like telling the truth and this stuff sucks.”

“That was the best information I could find. Dig mentioned that Oliver said the way the intruder broke into the house would help. But apparently the data base of agents is un-hackable.” 

“They haven’t met me yet.”

“It’s apparently in databases that are unhackable.”  

“Well, that really put a damper on my day.” She drew up a file and scanned it. This is what they called ‘information’? It was an article about Thea and her relationship with Oliver. “Do you have anything other than this? Because I can’t even find anything on this drive. Oliver’s sure not going to. Which means that I need to do it my way.”

“Please don’t tell me your way is breaking Oliver’s sixth-grade ex-girlfriend out of prison for help.” Barry raised his hands when she shot him a glare. “Sorry! Sorry. Don’t yell at me, please.”

“I’m not going to. I’m going to find Oliver, then with his help, we’ll take down the Bratva.”

“What if you can’t find him?” Barry shrugged after a glare was shot his way again. He didn’t need to be saying anything like that. “I’m being realistic. What if it takes you longer and Thea suffers in a prison even longer because you’ve been just trying to find Oliver?”

“I can’t…” she put her hands on the desk and leaned forward. “I can’t do two things at once. Not right now anyways. If I find Oliver, we can take the mob down together, and it’ll be ten times easier to get them if I have him.”

“You have…me.”

“No offense, but I trust my husband more than I trust you.”

“Felicity, I’m a speedster.”

“And I still trust Oliver more.”

Barry muttered several expletives. “You’re being ridiculous. Go after the Bratva while you’re at it.”

“They’re going to be around after I get Oliver back, which is going to be very soon. I can’t do it without him.” She spun her chair towards her friend and searched his angry face. “Don’t you get that? I _can’t_ do this without Oliver. We made it out alive because of my kids; not me. And since I’m not letting them step close to this mess, it leaves only me. And I’m nothing without Oliver.”

“You weren’t always that way.”

“No. But here’s the thing about marriage, Barry.” She stood up and stepped into his bubble, her bare feet not giving her much height on him, but they both knew that didn’t matter. “You walk up to that altar as separate human beings. But you leave that place as one. Oliver’s the heart, and I’m the soul, and it’s like that in any good marriage. We can’t function without each other. And you might not get that because you’re not married yet.”

He pulled his shoulders back and leveled his gaze at her. “Actually, I am.”

So that’s what she missed and failed to ask about. Defiance seeped into her soul as Barry’s gaze got more and more intense. “Then I guess you don’t have a relationship with Iris as I have with my husband.” He took two steps backward, allowing her to walk around him and down the hall. She was right…right? She could barely get one good night’s sleep without him, let alone take down the Bratva.

                                                *******

He couldn’t do this without her. Maybe shoot a few arrows and interrogate a few people, but do anything that resembled good? He couldn’t. Oliver tossed Felicity’s tablet to the side and grabbed the cup of coffee off the desk. It helped to ward off the need for sleep―not that he would―but it caused the jitters in his stomach to get worse. He dropped the cup into the garbage and picked up the tablet again. It wasn’t going to help him.

His plane would be done fueling up in half an hour, and then he’d head to Russia. Alan either gave him the right address, or he’d suffer. Though this time he would leave the girl out of it. Oliver raised his hand to the lamp to survey the healing process. His thumb still lacked movement, but his other fingers could grip the bow, and the bruising had gone down. A few years ago, an injury like this wouldn’t bother him, but the worst injury he had in the past two years was getting kicked in the knee by a cow.

He gathered his gear, tossed the duffel bag over his shoulder, and left the room. The back door of the hotel came in handy again as a flock of guests came around the corner. He pulled his baseball cap lower when he stepped outside. Any other day, he would only leave at night, but he couldn’t handle being here any longer. It was too close to home. Too many good memories, and with every good memory he had from this city, he had a bad memory.

                                                   *******

“I don’t want to do this!” Annie smacked her head down on the math book Diggle found for her to use. Felicity sighed and half-heartedly attempted to pull her head back up, but her daughter refused to budge, only cry harder, “I don’t want to do it! I don’t want to do it! Daddy needs to help me!”

So much for the idea that distracting kids with school would help. Felicity stood up. “I’m sorry, Annie. I thought I could distract you with this.”

“You can’t distract me with anything.” She lifted her head to level a glare before putting her face in the math book again. “We’re all gonna die, and no one can do anything about it.”

“We are not going to die. Where on earth did you come up with that notion?”

“We’re literally in a hole. We’ll either get shot or die of starvation.”

“Annie _Queen_!” Felicity bit on her lower lip to keep anything else from coming out. What was happening? Everyone had just gotten worse after they got here. More bickering, more whining. More tears, which came mostly from the two youngest. Even the baby seemed to be more annoyed than usual. She’d thrown up three times today, and each movement caused nausea to broil in her stomach.

Annie’s face crumbled. She stretched her arms out towards Felicity. “Can you just give me a really big hug, please?”

She shouldn’t have yelled. In fact, she shouldn’t have done anything in the past hour; just given each of the kids hugs. Felicity lifted Annie onto her lap and pulled her close. “I’m so sorry, honey. Sorry that you’re scared, and sorry that I yelled.”

“It’s…” she hiccupped, “Okay.”

“I’m still sorry. And honey, you’re safe here. We weren’t safe over in France, but you’re safe here. The Flash is gonna protect you.”

“But I heard you tell Barry that you don’t trust him as much as Daddy.”

“I don’t _trust_ Barry as much as your dad. But he’s got superpowers. He’s a speedster. And though I would never trade Oliver for him, he’s a good replacement for now.”

“You sure?”

“I’m positive.”

“ _Felicity_!”

Annie slid off her lap when Cisco yelled her name, Felicity ran into the hallway and clutched her stomach. _Calm, baby, calm._ “I’m in here!”

“Get over here! _Now_!”

She was going to make it three yards before puke erupted, but she started down the hall anyways, wincing at the movement in her stomach. _Don’t throw up yet._ What possibly had Cisco so riled up? She made it to the desk and dropped down to a chair, huffing. Her pregnant body had somehow gotten worse at running. “What’s…what’s the issue?”

“There’s something big. I think. We’re running facial recognition now.”

“What do you mean?” She pushed herself up and peeked over Cisco’s shoulder. “Oh my God. That’s Oliver.”

“I don’t know, Felicity, it might―”

Her heart twisted, and then sprang to life. The stomach pains went away. Felicity leaned in, a smile breaking over her face. “No, no, Cisco. That’s _Oliver_. I can feel it too. Where is he?”

“Starling City.”

“How could he be…whatever. Where’s Barry?”

“Here.” He whooshed into the room, his face hard, but the darkness in his eyes diminished when he saw the video footage. “How long ago was that?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but I at least have the hotel where he was seen and―”

“Let’s go.”

Felicity’s scream fluttered off when Barry grabbed her at top speed. _Oh, God. Don’t puke._ Barry would be even angrier if she did that. Or maybe he was just ticked at her for yelling at him. Either way, the faster they ran, the harder the nausea was to handle. Just her luck she would throw up on her husband. Or pass out in his arms. He would like that, though. Not the passing out part, but the fact that he got to hold her again.

They skidded to a stop at the back door of whatever hotel that Oliver had been spotted at. Barry caught Felicity’s arm as she took a step towards the main entrance. “If we found this footage, then the Bratva might have too. Plus, we have no idea what room he’s in.”

His voice grated on her knees. He needed to drop the whole thing, but Felicity got it. She was being selfish. All she wanted right now was Oliver back. Who cared about the Bratva right now? She _did_ , but she needed just a few minutes to just care about getting her husband back. “It’s not like he checked in with his real name. If he did, I’m shocked he’s not dead.” He should be. After all the reckless things he’d done? He should be dead. _You should be too_. “Good point.”

“Huh?”

“Sorry. I was just…approving of something in my head. Nothing important. But we need to figure out a way to find Oliver’s room.”

“Yeah.” He pressed on the emblem on his chest. “Cisco, are you sure this is where the security camera spotted him?”

“I’m sure.”

“Any idea what room?”

“Are you expecting me to hack into the hotel database and figure out—”

“Yes!”

“Okay, okay. But I doubt I’m gonna find anything. Which I just confirmed is true.”

Could they have any luck? Just once? They would have to go knock on every door until Oliver opened it. Or she could run into the hotel and scream his name. Or pretend—“What did I just hear?” Something about ‘phasing’ through walls. That wasn’t possible. Humanly, at least. Her friend wasn’t exactly a human. She should be used to this by now. People who could become other people, and a guy who could go through walls?

“I can, uh, phase through things.” Barry shrugged, non-chalant about a skill like that. “I can look for Oliver. By going through every door until I find him. Hopefully no one’s showering, because that’ll be something I can never un-see.” He sighed and adjusted the mask on his head. “If only things were easy.”

“You don’t _have_ to do this.” She shot him a glare. What was with his tone of voice? “I never asked you to.”

“No, but Oliver did. Which is why I’m doing it. Stay right here.” He disappeared before she said, ‘it’s not like I have anywhere else to go’. What if he found him? And what if he didn’t? Oliver _was_ here. The video didn’t say he still sat in his room or whatever. In fact, the video showed him exiting the hotel. A deep pit settled in her stomach. Or, came back. It hadn’t left. Couldn’t they have a small miracle for once?

She shrieked when Barry skidded to a stop two feet in front of her. Never mind he nearly took her to the ground. “Did you find him?” She shouldn’t have asked; Barry’s face gave it away. “You didn’t. I should’ve known.”

“I found one thing. Hold your stomach.” He grabbed her and whooshed into the building. They got to a door and—“No, do not phase me through that door!”

“Felicity, shhh. We’re going in the normal way.” He set her down and vibrated―vibrated!―his hand through the lock and pushed open the door, but he let her go in first. “This has to be his room, but if it somehow isn’t, we’re gonna be in big trouble. So make it quick.”

“Oliver?” She called his name, but kept her tone soft. When she came around the corner, her breath left her. But she wouldn’t cry; she’d done that enough recently. Looking at the bed, the sheets thrown on the ground, and the four pillows on her side tested her resolve. “Oh, Oliver.” She sank to the bed, reaching out to touch the pillow closest to her. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Felicity.” Barry leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “None of it is.”

“I should’ve known he would come back early and see the house blown up. We didn’t have much time, but I should’ve left some sign of us, because now we’ll never be able to find him.” That truth began setting into her soul. “Barry…I’m not gonna be able to find him.”

“How do you know you won’t? You’re the best hacker in the world. You’re Felicity Smoak. Queen. You can’t _not_ find someone.”

“You don’t know Oliver, though.” She raised her head and tried to look at him, but her tears blurred everything. “I might be a great hacker, but he’s even more amazing at…not being able to be found. Don’t you think the Bratva would’ve found him by now? But he hasn’t. And he thinks we’re _dead_.” Her voice dropped to a whisper on the last word. “Maybe I could find him if he didn’t, but he’s a different man right now. A tormented one.” Her gaze flitted to the sheets on the ground. Nightmares. He tossed everything―sometimes even her―on the ground when he had bad ones. One of those hadn’t happened in months, but now they’d come back with vengeance.

“But I need to find him, Barry. I can’t let him be out there, alone. It would hurt me almost as much as it’s hurting him.”

“I get it. Mostly because I’m married, and though you think it’s not like you and Oliver, I understand where you’re coming from.” Barry dropped to the chair that Oliver probably sat in after his nightmare, trying to calm himself down. He didn’t have his wife to climb on top of him and kiss him until he fell asleep. “Hey, Felicity?”

“Yeah? Sorry. I was thinking about how I calm Oliver down after his nightmares.”

“First of all, gross, and please―”

“Oh, it’s nothing like that.”

“I really don’t want to know, Felicity. But what I was going to ask is if you don’t think you can find Oliver, but you need to, what are you going to do?”

“Something I should have done ages ago.”

“Which is…?”

“Contact the _best_ hacker in the world.” When his forehead creased, she lifted one shoulder. “It’s my dad, Barry. And with two of us working, we can find Thea _and_ Oliver.” And the only way to find him was contacting her mom, which she should have done the first moment she stepped off the plane. “I need you to do me a favor. Since you’re the fastest of the two people in this room, I need you to go get my mom.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not? She’s the least-scariest of the Smoaks.”

“I can really only handle one of them right now. Not two. And then three? In the same room?”

“It’s either that or―”

“I’ll go. Well, we’ll go together.” Before she could protest, he whipped her away again. This time she puked. All over him. But it was his fault. They nearly slammed into her mom’s front door when they stopped. Felicity yelled a ‘sorry!’ and whirled away from him to throw up into the bushes. The door unlocked and opened. Her mom screamed, and grabbed her from behind, despite Barry yelling at her to stay away.

“Mom, please back up. Let me throw up first.” Felicity wiped her mouth with her sleeve and straightened. Ooh, her head ached. “I need to lay down or I’m passing out. Barry, don’t you dare speed me to a couch.”

“Honey, what happened to your hair?”

“No time for questions, Donna.” Barry put his arm around Felicity’s waist and semi-speeded them to the living room. It didn’t look any different, besides the fact it now contained a pregnant woman who just needed a vacation in the Caribbean. Was it too much to ask? She lowered herself down and groaned. Her mom ran into the room, her heels clicking on the floor, which grated on her nerves for some reason.

“Baby, are you sick? I can get you something for it before we talk. Or I could―”

“Nothing’s gonna help this, except speeding up the growing process six months,” Felicity muttered. Donna screamed. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Yes, Mom, I’m pregnant. I’m thirteen weeks along.”

“Oh, baby.” Donna dropped to her knees next to the couch and clasped Felicity’s hands. “I’m so happy for you and Oliver. And the kids! I’m sure they’re absolutely thrilled.”

“They are. But that’s not what we came.”

“I assumed so. Like you didn’t come to say hi to your mother for the first time in two years.”

“I’m sorry about that.” She took the water Barry got her, sending him a thank with a tight smile, and sat up. She and her baby had come to an agreement in the past thirty seconds, apparently. Her stomach had stopped knotting, and convulsing. “I don’t know how much they’ve told you about what’s happening, but a week or so ago, our house was blown up. The one in France.” She ignored her mom’s horrified look. “To sum it up, we’re all okay, but Oliver believes we’re dead. We’re also trying to deal with the Bratva.”

“I don’t think I can help with any of that. Besides being there for you, which I can do, but―”

“You actually can help. I need to know where my father is.”

A shadow passed over her face; the cloud didn’t leave as she stood up. Donna took in a deep breath, and then, with a voice that almost didn’t sound like her, she spoke. “I haven’t seen him in a very long time.”

“I know, Mom, and I haven’t seen him in longer. But he’s a better hacker than I ever will be, and I need his help.” Felicity pushed herself up and reached for her mom’s hands. “I’m sorry that this is dragging up bad memories.”

“It has to be causing some for you too.”

“Of course.” Actually, she hadn’t even thought about all the things he’d done. How he left her. That hadn’t crossed her mind. She needed his help; nothing else mattered right now. “Of course, but I need my husband, and we need to take the Bratva down before I lose my mind or I have this baby. Or both. C’mon, Mom. You have to know at least something about where he’s been.”

“I-I…” she took a deep breath as tears filled her eyes. “I might know something. It’s been a long time since I was in contact with him.”

“Anything is going to help us.”

Donna went into the kitchen and pulled out a pen and paper. “I last contacted him five years ago. He contacted me, actually. He wanted to know how you were doing. I asked him for an address, and this is what he gave me.”

“He wanted to know how I was doing?”

“Said a father never forgets his daughter.” She handed Felicity the paper. “I don’t know if that will help, but that’s what he gave me.”

“Do you have a computer around here? Of course you do. You don’t live in the fifteen hundreds.” Felicity ran down the hall to her old bedroom. Not much had changed. She hadn’t been back here since she left for college. There were still Elvis posters on the wall, along with piles of books about computers. Typical nerdy teenager, besides the diary that probably still rested underneath her pillow. That was typical hopeless romantic. God forbid anyone ever found that.

She typed in the address on Google maps, and then drew up the town that her father had supposedly lived in. There wasn’t much; probably why he chose that place. “Hey, Barry?”

“Right here.” He made her high school papers fly off their shelves when he sped into the room. “Sorry. So what’s the plan?”

“We need to go over there.” She rubbed her eyes. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” How long did she wait for a moment like this? A chance to see her dad again. After twenty-two years. She hadn’t looked him up either. Would he look at all like she remembered him? Would he even recognize her? Maybe he wouldn’t. She wore pigtails a lot when he last saw her. At least her hair was back to its original black. It hurt to look at herself. As soon as this was all over, she would be buying hair dye as soon as possible.

“Do you want me to just speed over there and check it out? It could take me a couple seconds, and then it would be over.”

“No, I want to come with. I know you have super speed and all, and please don’t take offense.” Oh, great, she was going to cause a fight again. Barry scooted backwards a few inches, but his face didn’t change. In fact, he looked sympathetic instead of angry. “But I want to do this the mildly-old-fashioned way. With you speeding me and Dig over there of course. Maybe Roy too. Because if he’s there, I need a support team.”

“I get it.” He nodded, his eyes scanning the room. She needed to do some remodeling in this room when they took care of their ever-growing list of ginormous problems. “Say goodbye to your mom, and we’ll run over and grab Dig. And Roy.” He pulled out his phone. “Cisco just texted me and said that someone punched someone.”

“Probably Annie and Piper.” Felicity slumped back in the chair and touched the skin underneath her eyes. “This world that we live in is taking a toll on them more than Oliver and I could ever imagine. One minute they’re sweet kids who wanna read about Laura and Mary, and the next one of them tries to drop-kick someone. And what’s worse is that I can’t put a stop to it until we’re all safe, because that’s part of what kept us alive.”

“Well, then I think that means we need to take down the Bratva as soon as possible so everyone’s lives can go back to normal. Okay?” He squatted down at her chair and looked up at her, his eyes light. He had faith in her. In all of this. She could read it on his face. “We’re gonna do this, Felicity. We’ll find Oliver, and we’ll take the Bratva down. I don’t know how, but we’re gonna do it. You just need to have a _little_ bit of faith.”

She smiled. “Oliver’s said that before.”  

“Well, he’s a smart guy. It’s part of the reason he and I became friends. Or basically the reason why we became teammates. I had the speed, he had the brains.”

“With us, I have the brains and he has the brawn.” He gave her an exasperated look, causing a giggle from her. “But I get what you’re saying, and I will accept your dramatic speech as truth. As long as you give me a hug, because I need a hug.”

Barry chuckled and stood up, helping her up with him. “You mean Oliver isn’t around to hug you so I’m gonna have to do?”

Felicity nestled her chin on his shoulder, taking a moment to treasure the feeling and knowledge that so many people loved her and wanted to protect her. There’d been so many years thinking no one did, but now she could look any direction and find someone to lean on. Though right now she would prefer Oliver’s arms around her waist, hands resting on the body part only husbands should have access to. Barry would do for now. “Thanks, Barr.”

“Anytime. Now let’s go.”

“Will my mom be okay?”

“She will be. I come over here every day to check on her, and we have twenty-four-hour surveillance. You don’t have to worry about her.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “She’s been fine so far; she’ll be fine until this is all over. She’s a strong woman.”

“I know, but this…I hope that this doesn’t bring up bad memories. It’s bringing back a lot of memories for _me_. I can only imagine the pain she must be in right now. Am I being selfish if I say that this is going to have be dealt with later?”

“No. It’s not. There’s not a selfish bone in your body. And before you disagree, remember that I’m smart, and I know how to read people.” He smiled. “C’mon, Felicity. Try not to throw up on me this time, because my body can only handle being thrown up one time a year.”

“Just wait until Iris is pregnant,” she muttered as Barry gathered her into his arms. He nearly dropped her. “What? It’s bound to happen at some point.”

“That’s not something I want to imagine right now. First I gotta get off the couch, because I’ve been on there for a few nights in a row. Marriage is hard.” He walked them both out to the living room, said goodbye to Donna, and whizzed from Las Vegas to Central City. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep the nausea down, but when they got back to Star Labs, she puked. In the trash can this time.

Almost an hour later, Barry whizzed her and Dig to the area of the cabin Noah apparently stayed. At some point. If only this could turn out better than the hospital trip. Another heartbreak could send her over the edge, and that couldn’t happen. Diggle had to put his hand over her mouth to keep her from shrieking when Barry arrived with Roy in a red blur. Some things she would never get used to.

“Hey, guys, we have a slight problem.” Barry winced when Roy went off to the side to puke. “Sorry. Anyways, there’s been an attack in Central City. A metahuman. And they, uh, kinda need my, uh, help. And I’m the only one who can help. I’m not selfish, but they need my—”

“Go, Barry.” She understood. “My dad isn’t a metahuman, and given the fact that our kids are in the same city that that metahuman attack is happening, Oliver would say go. We got this handled.”

“You sure?”

“Felicity’s right. We’ll be fine.” With Dig’s permission, Barry left. John put his hand on her arm. “You ready?” She nodded. _Ready as I’ll ever be for this_. “Then let’s go.”  

She didn’t like the dark. It didn’t cause her to break out into a cold sweat and shake, but there wasn’t any guiding lights. Someone could walk off a mountain because they couldn’t see anything. That was the only reason why searching for her dad at midnight bothered her. It did help that Spartan walked on the left side of her and Arsenal walked on her right. “Have I mentioned how much I love your codenames?”

“Well, it was either that or Thea’s nickname, so I chose Arsenal,” Roy muttered. He’d changed a lot since she last saw him. Hardened, dark, and very broody. So basically Oliver a couple years ago. The thought almost made her smile. He’d come a long way since then, and Roy just needed his wife back.

“Spartan was cooler than Black Driver.”

She giggled and nudged his side. “I don’ know…I think Black Driver is cool.”

“Maybe for a skinny guy who can’t lift twenty pounds to save his life.”

The bantering distracted her from the darkness and whistling trees until they reached a small cottage. Cabin, not cottage. It looked like something from a horror movie. “Maybe we should check if anybody’s living in there and then blow it up, because it probably causes little kids to have nightmares after seeing it.”

“I will second that motion.” Diggle cocked his gun and moved ahead of them. “Felicity, if your dad is in there―get down!” He swiped her feet out from underneath her just before gunfire spilled over their heads. Roy covered her body with his as Diggle returned fire. Of course. The Bratva had tracked them there, and they intended to wipe out the heart and soul of the mission. The bodyguard, the husband, and the hacker. She reached for her tablet, wincing when Roy’s leg pressed into her hand.

“Let’s go!” Diggle pulled her up, his body shielding her from anything that would come their way. They made it ten feet to a wood pile. “Don’t let her go, Roy! Protect her at all costs, you got it?”

“Yeah, yeah, nothing’s happening to her.”

Felicity pulled out her tablet, but stopped when the gunfire paused. Something went through the air, but it wasn’t a weapon. Her heart clenched. Her eyes watered. “That’s not the Bratva.”

“Then who is it?” Diggle reloaded his gun. Roy fit an arrow into his bow. The feeling came harder, pressing down around her. Felicity reached her hand out to stop them from firing.

“Don’t do it, guys. It’s my dad.”

“How do you know?”

“I just…know.” Yelling would give away their location though it had to be pretty obvious, and if her feeling wasn’t right, they would die. But she hadn’t felt like this before. Not for a very long time at least. Not since she was little, lying in bed, waiting for her dad to come home. She would hide under the blankets when his car pulled into the driveway, and count the seconds until he came up to say goodnight. One hundred and twenty-two seconds. That’s what it was every night. And if it would be any less or more than that – if she could hear his footsteps – she would speed up or slow down her counting.

It was that sense now. Felicity set her tablet on the ground and braced herself against the wood pile. “Don’t shoot! It’s me, Daddy. It’s Felicity.” She pushed herself up to a standing position and looked over the pile. Her father stood several feet away from them, his gun raised. “It’s me. Please don’t shoot us. We just need your help.”

“F-F-Felicity?” The gun lowered. Then dropped to the ground. “It’s Felicity? My baby?”

“Yeah.” She stepped around the pile and walked towards him. “I know it’s been a while, but I need your help. It’s a…long story. Sorry to bother you.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” He reached out to touch her arm when she got close enough to him. “I can’t believe it’s you.”

“Well, it’s me.” The daughter who hadn’t seen her dad in over twenty years. The girl who’d closed her heart off to any man because she didn’t think she could be loved. The woman who did fall in love with a man a million times better than her father ever would be, and who now needed that man’s help to find her love. Felicity sucked in a deep breath that shook and managed a little smile. “It’s, uh, nice to see you again.”

“It’s been a long time, honey.”

“Don’t…” _God, help me._ “You can’t call me that.”

“Sorry.” He gave his head a shake. “I shouldn’t have said that. But you have no idea how good it is to see you again.”

“I guess I didn’t really know what to expect.” He looked older than she remembered. Like he’d been to hell and back since he left her. And her mom. “You’ve taken care of yourself nicely.”

“And as you have, I see.” He nodded towards the diamond ring she should’ve taken off her finger a long time ago, but she couldn’t. Even though she feared it would fall off, she couldn’t take that away from herself.

“Then I guess you know why we’re here.” Diggle came to stand by her side. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Kutter. I’m John Diggle. Felicity’s bodyguard.”

“I know who you are.”

Felicity took a deep breath while warning herself not to blow up at her dad in the first five minutes. “Well, we could’ve used your help a little while ago. Actually, I could’ve used it a hundred times since you left.”

Pain washed over his face. “I’m sorry, Felicity. There’s no excuse for what I’ve done, but I hope someday you’ll come to forgive me for what happened.”

“I have forgiven you, Dad. It’s really okay, because I’ve figured myself out now.” She raised her ring hand in the air, allowing the moon to catch its glimmer. “I’m okay, which means that this is all okay. It’s going to take some time. Because you haven’t been in my life for twenty years.”

“As much as I’d love to continue this discussion, I think we should go back,” Roy called from the wood pile. Chicken. He didn’t want to come out of that hidey-hole. “There will be plenty of discussion once we get to Star Labs. Or Starling. Felicity, where do you wanna go?”

“The kids are gonna want me there in the morning, so Star Labs. And Dad, we need your hacking abilities so hopefully those are up to date.”

“For you, they are. I try not to do much hacking, but I’ll make an exception. You will need to fill me in on what’s going on, though. I know some, but not all of it.”

“It’s simple.” They began walking to the van a few hundred yards away in the woods. “We need to find Oliver, who right now thinks we’re dead, because we were literally blown up. Our house, anyways. And we need to take down the Bratva, which will lead us to Thea. Hopefully. Unless a separate party has Thea. Which is quite a thought, but I don’t think it’s possible.” As she climbed into the front seat, she glanced back at him. He wore a funny look. “What?”

“Your babbling hasn’t changed a bit.”

She looked down at her belly. It was covered; he wouldn’t know about her baby until she decided she could trust him, but she could tell. “I think that’s the only thing that hasn’t.”

“Your hair was blonde for a long time.”

“I needed a change.”

“A different identity, you mean?”

“Would you stop it?” She didn’t remember him being this questioning and annoying. Felicity took another deep breath and counted to ten. “You haven’t been around, so I don’t think you get to play any card with me that involves ‘knowing anything’, because you don’t.” Even though he was correct about the identity change. She became a whole different person when her hair became blonde. At least that’s what she liked to tell herself. “It’s better if we just discuss what we need to and not talk about what happened. Because what happened is over.”

He stopped talking after that. Felicity spent the two-hour drive writing to her baby, telling her son or daughter about her night. She glanced back at her dad, and Roy, laying in the far back with his eyes closed. Her fingers came back to the screen. _I hope you never have to live without your parents, or your siblings. I’ve seen what happens to all of this, and I promise we’ll never leave you._

“Hey, Felicity.” Diggle tapped her on the shoulder. “We’re here.”

“Oh.” She pulled her glasses off to rub her eyes. “I fell asleep.”

“Yeah, you did. But I’m glad. Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?”

“Thanks, Dig, but I’m good.” She tucked her tablet into her bag and stepped out into the rainy night. Diggle met her at the front of the van and put his arm around her back. “I got this. Really. You can go on ahead.”

“Maybe, but I’m going to make sure you get to your quarters. C’mon.” He tossed a look at Roy over his shoulder, and moved them into the opening hallways of Star Labs. “How do you feel right now? About Noah?”

“I feel…would it be insane to say I feel better about myself? Like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was seven when I last saw him, and now I’m thirty. Somehow, a piece of me was missing without him. But I don’t know. I feel out of it right now.” They reached the end of the hall that led to the Queens’ rooms. She gave Diggle a hug and walked the mini-hallway, checking in each room at the kids. Annie, Piper, and Harper all slept in a twin bed, curled up together. Clayton lay sprawled out on one bed, with William on the floor next to him. At the room where Ellie slept, Felicity went in, careful not to make any noise. She squatted down and surveyed her daughter.

“Hey, sweetie. You’ll never believe what happened tonight. I got to see my dad again. Which is kind of crazy. Never thought that that would happen, and thanks to this situation, I did.” She brushed some of Ellie’s errant hair out of her face and smiled. “I know you think this is all your fault, but it’s not. Life happens, and sometimes…we try to find explanations. The best way to do that is to blame ourselves. But this was not your fault, honey. At all. In fact, it was anything but your fault. Okay?” She leaned down at kissed her forehead. “I love you, Elizabeth. And I promise we’re gonna get out of this.”

She stood up, but Ellie touched her leg.

“I love you too.” It was mumbled, but it made her smile. Ellie had heard it. She walked to her bedroom and pulled off her clothes. She set an alarm that wouldn’t go off until super late, and then slid into bed.  _Goodnight, Oliver. I love you._

                                                        *******

Oliver let his head loll to the side and closed his eyes. The hum of the plane almost put him to sleep, but any time he tried to drift off, the images jolted him awake. His body ached from the nights of no sleep, and he needed forty-eight hours of it. But every time he saw his family laying on the ground in a mangled mess, his stomach revolted against him, and his breath went away, leaving him huddled against the side of the cockpit, trying to regain control.

He forced himself awake by putting pressure on his injured hand, and reached for Felicity’s tablet. He found the music app, and hit play on the first playlist titled ‘for when I need cheering up’. The song they played for their first dance filled the cockpit. It took three lines before his eyes welled with tears. He swiped the music off and set the tablet on the seat beside him. Felicity’s hand touched his fingers, sending electricity up his body. _This isn’t real._ But he could feel her. Just for a split second, she was here. “You’re not real.” He focused on the controls, not allowing himself to look at the other seat. If he did, his carefully reconstructed basement would unravel, and he needed that place to stay standing for just a little longer.

“You’re not alone, Oliver.”

“Shut up.” He was hallucinating. Not enough sleep. Or food. Or anything. His heart couldn’t handle it anymore, so his brain started creating the thing he needed the most. _Get out of my head._

“And I believe in you.”

“ _Stop_!” He slammed his hands on the controls. “You’re _dead_! Okay? Felicity, you’re gone. I can’t bring you back, and you’re not supposed to be alive in my head. You’re dead. You’re dead.” His voice cracked. Pain ripped through his body as those two words circled around him, mocking him. Calling for him to react. But he couldn’t. He was frozen in his chair, staring at the starless, moonless sky. Felicity had lit up his sky. In more ways than one. But now it had gone dark. He’d lost his moon, and he’d lost his six― _seven_ ―stars that twinkled no matter what.

“I love you, Oliver.”

Her words cut his breathing off. She’d whispered those words to him so many times in the four years they’d known each other. When they made love, when he cooked for her, when they took walks through the prairies. She’d said it so much that he’d ingrained it into his mind for times like this.

Only he didn’t want to hear it right now. Or ever again.

“Stop, Felicity. Stop. _Please_.” He looked at her seat. Only her tablet sat there, but he could see her face. “You’re gone, sweetheart. Dead. And you have to stop reminding…me of that. Because I know you’re gone but…” he tried to take a deep breath to steady himself. He didn’t know what to do anymore. “You’re gone.”

Annie’s face flashed through his brain. Over and over she asked him to read Little House to her. Piper wanted to make breakfast together. Clayton and William wanted to learn more ways to take a person out. Harper kept asking about how to flirt with a guy. Ellie…all she wanted to know was about her mom.

Oliver slid off the seat and fell back against the side, drawing his legs up close to his chest. _Please stop._

But they wouldn’t.

Annie giggled and ran towards the barn, but before she reached the entrance, she yelled, “I love you, Daddy!”

He let out a sob. A deep, heart wrenching cry that originated from the darkest part of his soul. The one who needed his family more than anything. The part that had tried for so long to not feel anything. But now it did, and the pain tore at him like animals who’d gone too long without food. He wrapped his arms around his legs and dropped his head to his knees. They were gone. All of them. Down to their baby. They were all gone, and there was _nothing_ he could do to bring them back.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered the words to no one. Because he didn’t have anyone left. Only a stupid old tablet that, like the tech guy said, would fall apart any day. And his bow. That was it. No kids. No wife. Because he messed up a long time ago, and he was the only one who never paid for it. His hand ached from clutching it tightly to his legs, but he didn’t care. He deserved that pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter!!!! I'm especially proud of the last scene, when Oliver finally breaks down. I hope you liked it as well. As for whether or not there's hope on the horizon, I can confirm I read a reuniting scene to my sisters last night. I can't tell you what chapter it is, but we're getting there. For now, enjoy your week! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um....so yeah....it's back. For how long, I don't know. I've been "working" on this chapter since I posted chapter 11, and I decided that I was tired of it sitting around. It's not amazing, but hopefully there's a few scenes in here that will make people feel things. Enjoy! 
> 
> Side note: this is a chapter that includes violence, so for those of you who don't like that, there's a couple parts to skip midway through.

Oliver was hurting. She could feel it in everything she did. Breathing hurt, because breathing hurt for him. Felicity turned the water off and wrapped herself in a fluffy towel that should have made her swoon. They didn’t have anything like this at the farm. But right now it made her want that house with no hot water and barely any electricity. It had been stressful, but they’d been together. And safe. If she’d known this would happen, she would have treasured those nights on the porch a little more. Saved a bit more in a jar for a day like this.

She stepped out of the shower and screamed. “What on earth?” Piper sat on the ground, staring at her. Felicity pressed her hand to her heart and sucked in a deep breath. “My gosh, honey. You scared the crap out of me. How’d you get in here?”

“You left the door unlocked, and it was comforting knowing that you were here.” Piper shrugged. “I had a bad dream.”

“What was it about?” She started brushing her hair, thankful for the few minutes of wetness when it wasn’t so obvious her hair was black. When Piper didn’t respond, she turned to look at her daughter, who shook her head. “Oh, honey. What happened?”

“Usually I dream about all sorts of weird stuff, but this one was about Daddy.” She sniffed. “He kept looking for us, even though we were right in front of him, and he couldn’t find us. And we couldn’t say anything. Like there was something between us all, even though we could see him.”

A tear slipped down Felicity’s cheek.

“He was crying, and we couldn’t do anything about it. I would rather dream about blood and stuff than dream about that.”

“I’m so sorry, Piper. So sorry.” Felicity pulled her up and wrapped her arms around her. Her daughter burst into tears and clung to her. Felicity closed her eyes and rocked them back and forth. She couldn’t tell anyone that it would be okay. Or tell the kids that their dad was okay, because they all knew he wasn’t. Which was why she found her dad. The only thing she could do was stand here in the bathroom—in a fluffy towel that could fall off any moment thanks to how hard Piper hugged her—and try to love.

“What if we can never find him? Daddy’ll think we’re dead for the rest of his life.”

And that life wouldn’t last long, which caused her heart to constrict at the thought. She’d never thought of Oliver as suicidal, but when things weren’t going the right way, his decisions weren’t as thought-through, and since he now thought he had nothing to lose, he wouldn’t stop to consider how dangerous something could be. He didn’t care, and it could get him killed. Felicity kissed Piper’s forehead. “We’re gonna find him. I…brought someone here to help me.”

“Brought someone?”

“I found my dad.”

Her eyes widened. “Your dad is here? Did William punch him yet?”

“No, he did not. And he won’t.” If it happened, then things had gotten really bad. “Noah…my dad is going help us find Oliver, and with his help, I can find the Bratva.”

“Seems like there’s a better option than _him_.”

“He’s a good man, Piper.”

“But he didn’t come to see you for twenty-two years. That’s just cruel. He’s not a good man.”

“Maybe but maybe not. Don’t be like your older siblings and be bitter about things.” She pulled away and ruffled her hair. “You gonna be okay?”

“No, but I’ll pretend to be.” Piper turned away and reached for the door. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Sweet―” The door slammed shut. Felicity sighed and pulled out the hairdryer. Just before she turned it on, the door flew open again. What was with people and barging in on her or sneaking in? They didn’t have any locks on the doors at the farmhouse and this never happened. Maybe because no one had nightmares as much there. “Yes, Annie?”

“There’s a weird man here.”

“Does he have gray hair?”

“He does, and he looks scary.”

“Mom, who the heck is this guy?” Clayton yelled from somewhere in the building. “He says he’s―”

“That’s her dad!” Piper called. Felicity shut the door before she could hear the reactions to that. Oooh, life. _Why do you have to stress me out so much?_ She looked at Annie, who had her arms crossed, glaring up at her. “Yes, dear?”

“Why is your dad here? I thought he was mean.”

“He’s not mean, and he’s gonna help find your daddy.”

“Can’t you do that? You’re better than anyone at everything.”

“Not at everything, sweetie, which is why I found Noah. Which means you need to be nice to him, okay?” Felicity tapped Annie’s arm and smiled. “You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever known, which means that I know you can be sweet to him. He’s kind of your grandpa. So be nice. Now skedaddle so I can finally get myself presentable for the day.”

“I think you look presentable enough. And very, very pretty.” Annie smiled before leaving the bathroom. Felicity turned the hairdryer on, but ended up forgoing the hairspray and curling iron. She could care less about that right now, though she grabbed one of Barry’s sweatshirts from a closet before she went down the hall to the main hall. Noah didn’t need to know about the baby yet, though the rest of the group didn’t know that. Her baby would be revealed in no time.

“Mom, why is he here?” William expressed his distaste a half a second after she walked into the room. “He shouldn’t be here.”

“For once, I agree with him.” Ellie crossed her arms and glared. “He doesn’t need to be here.”

Diggle sat in the corner, watching the arguments brewing. More like sizzling. Felicity glanced at him and raised her hands. “Help me out here, please?”

“I think this is something you need to explain to them. They deserve to hear it coming from their mom.”

But she didn’t want to do it. Which could lead to more tears. Felicity took in account for the people in the room. Their bodyguard, and six angry children. “Where’s Noah?”

“No idea, but he’s not gonna be here for long,” William muttered.

“Okay, that’s enough. William and Ellie, you especially. I get that―”

“He’s been gone for twenty-two years with no attempt to see you!” Ellie slammed her hand on the desk. “He has no right to be here. How do we know he’s not a Bratva spy?”

Annie gasped.

Felicity sank down to one of the chairs. “I need his help.”

“For what?” William tossed his hands in the air. “What could you possibly need his help with? You’re the best at everything!”

“No, I’m not, and before you disagree with me, try to believe that I know myself better than you do. If you want your dad back with us, or we want to be with him, then you’d better get used to seeing my dad around.” Felicity put her hands on one of the computers and leaned forward, her gaze trying to hit the two oldest. If they were on board, the others would follow. “This is not an ideal situation for any of us, but you should know that it is giving me the opportunity to see my father for the first time since I was seven. No matter what he did, he’s still my dad. We went over this a couple years ago. With both of my parents.”

“But isn’t there another option for help?” Harper made a face. “I don’t like him.”

“I know you don’t, but no…there’s not.”

“What about that guy who kidnapped you when you were our nanny? What was his name?” Ellie snapped her fingers a few times as she searched the name that Felicity knew by heart.

“Cooper Sheldon,” she said softly.

“Yes! That’s him. How about him?”

William raised his eyebrows. “You’d rather have a scumbag who kidnapped Mom and tried to kill her than her _dad_?”

“Much rather.” She gave her hair a toss at her brother and turned to Felicity. “How about him?”

“No, no, he’s not…he wouldn’t be able to help.”

“Yeah, cuz he’s that much of a scumbag.”

“Shut up, Will. Why not, Mom? Seems like if you explained the situation he’d help.”

“He can’t.” Why was she suddenly so sad about his death? And why did something in her tell her not to tell the kids about why Cooper wasn’t available? They didn’t need to know how far their dad had gone off the railroad, especially the younger ones. Piper dreamed about it enough. Felicity shook her head. “He won’t help. End of the story. And I’m the one who knows him better than other people, so…”

Ellie’s eyes squinted, but she nodded. “Fine. But do we have to be nice to him?”

“Matter of fact, you do. And if people aren’t at least civil, then when Noah and I find Oliver, there’s going to be a long discussion and no one is going to like the consequences.” At least she could hope that that would be the result of that conversation. And that they would get a chance for that. Felicity flashed them a sweetish smile and beckoned towards the door. “I’d like it if everyone would give me some time alone with Diggle.”

The four younger ones left the room right away, but the other two lingered. Ellie glanced between her and Dig, a suspicious look on her face. “Can’t we stay?”

“No, this is stuff I don’t want anyone to hear. So please go out for a bit.” When they went out, Felicity stood up and started pacing the room like Oliver used to do. He still did, but not as often. She was bringing the tradition back. “Please tell me I wasn’t wrong in doing this. Because now I’m feeling like an idiot.”

“You can’t walk back on your idea just because the kids are mad. In fact, you should be happy, because the kids are angry at the idea of Noah being here because of what he’s done to you. They love you that much.”

“And they’re all very bitter about things that didn’t even happen to them. I thought we were over that after Oliver was in prison, but apparently I was wrong. Does it ever bother you how bitter they are?”

“I think it goes with the territory right now. They need to be defensive of the entire family, and the oldest two are feeling the need to protect you since Oliver isn’t here.” Diggle stood up and walked towards her, a smile on his face, because this was John Diggle. The man everyone called when they needed a pick-me-up. “Don’t worry about them. When this is all over, your family will be much different.”

“Yeah, but first I gotta make it through this part.”

“Yes, and you will.” He set his big, strong hands on her arms. “You’re gonna make it through this, Felicity. Just make sure you don’t lose who you are in all of this. When we get Oliver back, he’s going to need you like he’s never needed you before.”

Which was slightly terrifying. Felicity nodded, and gave her friend a hug. “I will do my best. But I might need your help.”

“That’s what I signed up for. Now why don’t you get your dad in here so we can work on finding Oliver.”

                                                      ********

Oliver stepped off the plane, glancing around at the empty hangar. He rubbed his hands over his eyes and walked towards the road. The nearest hotel was two miles from here, which wasn’t so bad, even though each step sent fire up his leg. The flachette wound got infected. He hadn’t paid enough attention to it, and now it hurt. But it didn’t matter. Worse had hurt, though the longer he went like this, the more his eyes ached from trying to stay awake and from the tears shed on the plane.

He made it to the first hotel leading into the town, and collapsed onto the bed. But he wouldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t let himself do that anymore. He turned the TV on, cranked the volume up as high as it could go, even though the Russian words made no sense to him right now, and pulled out Felicity’s tablet. It kept him company, especially at night when closing his eyes would cause a nightmare to happen.

Tonight it didn’t provide any hope or shelter. He could see his wife, dead on the ground, the kids around her. Closing his eyes wouldn’t help, and neither would staring at a tablet with the TV blaring. He pulled a hoodie on, swallowed a few painkillers, and headed out to the dark night. The gun felt heavy at his hip, but it quieted the alarms blaring in his head. He shouldn’t be out here. In Russia. At night. But he just didn’t care.

The painkillers masked the pain in his leg, which allowed him to go out of the city onto the country roads. The moon illuminated the trail, though as he neared the woods, it went behind the clouds. He slowed down, and stopped just before full darkness hit. _You’re an idiot._ He would get himself killed acting like this.

Someone whacked him from behind, slicing at his knees. He dropped to the ground and rolled away from the punch just before it slammed into his head. Four guys. One behind them holding something. Likely a gun. Oliver swiped his legs at the guys’ feet, taking one to the ground.

A gun fired.

He grunted.

Thigh wound. Again.

Bratva agents. They had to be. Who else would come out here?

Oliver yanked out his gun and fired into the air. One of them fell. A kid screamed, and kicked him in the ribs. He caught the man’s arms and flung him back, smashing him on the gravel. He jammed his elbow back in his face. Blood splattered back at him, but it didn’t bother him. The agents needed to be taken down, or he’d be dead.

Someone jumped on him, pushing his knee into the bullet wound. The pain rendered him helpless, forcing him to the release the gun. The man smashed his fist into Oliver’s face, cracking a bone. _Get. Out._ It didn’t matter how. He gritted his teeth, and jerked up, catching the man in a choke hold. “What do you want?”

“Please―”

He stopped talking when he snapped his neck. Oliver dropped the body to the ground and turned to see the last man running down the road. He reached for his phone in his back pocket and turned the flashlight on. _Oh, God._ “No.” He scooted towards the edge of the road, his eyes glued on the bodies. They were in their twenties. At the most. They weren’t Bratva. They just wanted to beat someone up. And he killed them.

“I-I’m sorry.” He flipped the flashlight off and tried to shove the phone back in his pocket. He missed, and it fell down the edge of the road. There was no way he could make it down there to get it. Maybe he should. Fall down in the ravine and bleed out. He should, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t a painful enough death for him.

He got himself up to a standing position and started down the road. He’d killed three innocent kids because he thought they were Bratva agents. What was wrong with him? Maybe it was a good thing that his family died. This was what Felicity ignored, and what he tried to shove down. Deep inside, he was a killer. A murderer.

A man like him didn’t deserve to have a family.

                                                *******

“Dad, I’ve explained this to you a million times.” Felicity let out a loud sigh to tell him how much he was testing her patience. “That’s what happened, and no amount of judging me will change any of that. I did what I had to do to survive.”

“And you could have killed yourself in the process. Or the kids.”

“But we made it.” This was how the kids felt when she or Oliver yelled at them for doing something stupid. She wanted to strangle him right now. All he did was stare at her with that disappointed look on his face, like she could have done so much better. Maybe so, but right now that wasn’t an option. “Just find Oliver.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Dad!” She slammed her hands on the desk. The patience she’d stocked up for today had all fallen off the shelf. “I’m not the best hacker in the world. _You_ are. And that’s the only reason I found you. Not because I missed you or wanted to start a relationship. I need you to find my Oliver, because I can’t function without him. And I also need him to take down the Bratva once we find them. Which you’re also going to help me with. So please.” She leaned in closer, trying to convey what she needed. Though why would he understand that? He hadn’t been here to learn her quirks. “We all need your help.”

“Including that baby of yours?”

“ _What_?” She looked down at her belly. It wasn’t visible. At all. “What are you talking about?”

“You think I wouldn’t notice that you’re at least twelve weeks?”

“I’m not…fine.” _God, give me some patience._ “I’m twelve weeks.”

“Congratulations, Felicity.” He went back to typing. Typical ‘dad’. Giving her a sentence worth of congrats and going back to his job. She pulled the sweatshirt off and looked down at her t-shirt. A tiny bump peeked out. She gave the baby a pat. _Hey, sweetie. Don’t worry; Mama’s not too stressed._ At least that’s what she would tell her. Or him. _It’s gonna be okay._

“Felicity…”

“Hmmm?”

“Can you identify Oliver’s fighting skills?”

“Anywhere.” A low sense of dread hit her, and it grew when he gestured for her to come over. His face had darkened, and just before she reached the computer, he stopped her with his hand. “I don’t know if you want to see this.”

How bad was it? Felicity brushed him off and clicked ‘play’ on the Twitter video. “Oh my God.” Her husband was knocked to the ground, and shot at. It hit his thigh. “Get up, Oliver.” She felt herself grabbing her dad’s hand. “Oliver, get up!”

But he did. That was the problem. He fired his own gun in one of the guys’ chests, tossed one behind him, smashing his elbow into his face. She recognized the signs of death. Just as he snapped the last man’s neck. A kid, really. They were kids. He’d killed three kids, and one of them got a video of it. “Oh, God.” Her hand slipped when she tried to put her bodyweight against Noah’s chair. “Oh my God.” What had he done? What had _she_ done? She needed to find him. Now. “C-Can you…do you know…where it happened?”

“In a tiny town in Russia.” He pulled up a map and pointed to the place. “I don’t know―”

“Contact Diggle. Tell him that we need a plane immediately!” Noah grabbed her arm before she could leave the room. “Let me go. I need to find―”

“Why is Oliver in a barely pronounceable Russian town?”

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t you want to find out before you go on the hunt for him?”

“Dad!” _God, I need help._ Her pulse had picked up, and sent her into an oblivion that she hadn’t stepped into for a long time. It was panic, but not for herself. It was panic for her husband, and that was worse than any other worry. “Did you see what he did? He’s not himself! He thinks we’re dead, and there’s nothing that I can do here. I need to be there. Finding him.”

“And that’s the issue.” He spun his chair around so he could look at her. “This town has ten thousand people. Four hotels, and from this video, your husband is in the middle of nowhere, and he’s likely leaving soon because this video is on Twitter. Any half-ways smart Bratva agent is going to see that and be on his tail.”

And he would be in danger again. Felicity rubbed her eyes, trying to hide the tears that wanted to seep out. “What else am I supposed to do?”

“You want to find the Bratva, correct?”

She was a little girl again, being interrogated by her father. Felicity took a deep breath and nodded.

“Then I think the best way to do this, and I think John Diggle will agree with me.” Noah glanced over at Diggle as he entered the room, his forehead creased. He hit play on the video and pushed Felicity out of the way so she couldn’t see it. When Diggle rubbed his hand over his face and turned away, Noah continued. “You want to take down the Bratva and find Oliver. What I’m saying is that if we find the Bratva, we find Oliver.”

“He’s got a good point, Felicity.” Diggle crossed his arms, his eyes glancing to the computer screen every several seconds. “There’s two enemies right now. Time and the Bratva. With both of you, plus Cisco, you should be able to catch up to Oliver in no time in terms of what he’s found through Cooper. We can track his movements, figure out the who, when, where, and whys of what he’s doing, and then we’ll find Oliver.”

“But what if…” she gestured to the computer. “What if it’s too late for him? He killed a bunch of kids, and if and when he realizes what he did, it’ll probably kill him. Plus, he thinks we’re dead.”

“I think we need to have faith that Oliver has a little bit more in his heart.”

She owed it to Thea, and to the kids to go after the Bratva; that much was obvious. Felicity clenched her fists, closed her eyes, and whispered a prayer. It didn’t give her much comfort right now, but it helped with her tanking faith in everything. Except John Diggle. He was still the Queen’s rock. “Okay. Let’s do it. But I don’t know how much help I’ll be. I’m not hundred percent me.” She shrugged one shoulder, clearing her throat to force away her trembling voice. “Not even my hair.”

“We don’t have time to figure out identities and whatever the problem is.” Noah scooted his chair closer to the computers. “Is Oliver capable in any way with hacking?”

“Um, maybe a bit. I can’t really say what he’s capable in that area.” She knew all the other details on his skills; maybe they should have worked on this part a little more. “Clearly not much, as he went after my ex-boyfriend for help.”

“Seems like he should’ve gotten Cisco’s help.”

She took a seat, glancing back at Diggle as her fingers found the keyboard. “He didn’t want to endanger anymore lives. One of his more demeaning qualities. It’s hard for him to accept help from anyone he cares about. Something we’ve been working on. Though it doesn’t seem to have helped.” She stared at the computer screen, forcing herself to imagine Oliver. What would he do in a strange situation? Even in the painful moments, he had a brain that could work. She apparently did not, but something flickered in her brain. “I have an idea. More of a revelation. If Oliver thinks we’re dead, he’s gonna go try to find his sister. I couldn’t find anything in the drive, which means he wouldn’t be able to find anything. So…”

“Queen Consolidated.” Diggle snapped his fingers. “Maybe he went through everyone who worked there and found something.”

“With Cooper’s help. Great idea. At least we don’t have to worry about Jerry anymore.” As she hacked into the QC’s database, she muttered, “though apparently we have to deal with much bigger scumbags.”

Her dad cleared his throat. “Felicity, what would you like me to do?”

“Switch spots, because I just got into the database and their files. What I need you to do is run a scanner and see if you can pull up anything worthwhile. I don’t care how little anything is―”

“Got something.”

“Already?”

“Alan Walker. He’s been working for Queen Consolidated for six years. According to flight records, he’s been to Russia, Spain, and Italy. He has bank accounts in all those places.”

“Oliver did too. And probably still does. Anything else?”

“When was Thea kidnapped?”

“June fifteenth.”

“The next day, two million was transferred from a bank in the middle of Russia to his account in Starling.”

“That’s our guy.” She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, tossing both men a smile. Finally, they had some luck. “Anyone in for a little interrogation gig?”

Diggle glared at her. “You are not coming with.”

“Heck yes, I am. I’m not sitting here and waiting for news. I’m coming with. Plus,” she stood up and gave her wet hair a shake. _Actual five-year-old, Mrs. Queen._ “You might need my help with interrogation.”

“Mom?”

“Shut the computer,” she hissed just before Ellie came into the room. “Hey, honey.” Noah didn’t do a good job being nonchalant about hiding the evidence of Oliver going off the rails. Her daughter narrowed her eyes and moved towards the desk. Felicity intercepted her in between. “Hey, what’s the issue?”

“I was just coming in here to see if you needed some help. What…are you hiding something?”

“What? No.”

“Mom.” Ellie rolled her eyes. “You are terrible at lying. Almost as bad as Dad’s gotten. You can’t just hide something from me.”

“I’m not hiding anything. I’m just not showing you something you don’t need to see.” Felicity caught Diggle’s gaze. “Do you think you could find Barry? Maybe he can speed us―”

“I think we’d bother rather ride the train.”

She didn’t hide the eye roll at her father. “Dad, we need to get there as soon as possible. I don’t care if you and Dig throw up. Mostly because I’m pregnant and I’ve thrown up on Barry a lot. My hormones are wearing me thin on the caring level. So John, please find Barry.”

“Can I come with?”

Why did they think they could get in on these expeditions? “Ellie, is the sky purple?” When she shook her head, Felicity smiled. “Until it turns purple, you’re not going.”

“That’s not fa―”

“I don’t need anyone else dying. So you’re going to stay here with everyone else.” And she needed some leather to look cool. Barry whizzed in, scattering papers everywhere.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?”

When she finished explaining the situation, Barry turned his attention to Diggle. “Are you okay with this?”

“Though I’m not a fan of her coming with, we need her help. Is there any way we can confirm if he’s home or not?”

Noah clicked several keys on the keyboard and brought up a sheet of paper. “Looks like we have a bit of luck today.”

Felicity leaned over the chair to skim read QC’s schedule. “No, that’s not luck. That’s nothing short of a miracle.” Their new ‘friend’ was home sick. “He’ll be weak, and won’t be able to move as fast. We can pounce when he’s down, and he’ll be more likely to tell us information.” When they all looked at her, eyebrows raised, she shrugged. “What? Oliver’s told me a few things about torture, and kicking their knees out from underneath them is a lot easier when they already have a torn ACL.”

“That took a violent turn.” Barry whistled, but let out a yelp when she whacked his arm. “Sorry! Don’t mess with the pregnant lady. Y’know, Felicity, some women just get crabby, but you get violent.”

“I’m not…getting violent.”

                                                      *******

When Felicity, Diggle, and Noah disappeared with Barry, Ellie tapped William on the shoulder and leaned in closer so she could whisper, “Hey, can I talk to you out in the hallway for a second?”

“Sure. This movie’s boring anyways.” When they left the room, he shot her a look. “Are you just as suspicious about what Mom’s hiding as I am?”

“Yes. And she didn’t help with how she shut the computer off earlier today. Something’s on there, and they don’t want us to see it.” Which means they shouldn’t look, but what could Felicity and the group be hiding? She was twenty now; William eighteen. It wasn’t fair that they couldn’t know what was happening. “Cisco’s out with his girlfriend, so we could go look.”

“If we get caught, we’re gonna get in a lot of trouble.”

“We’re adults.” She led the way to the computers, and moved the mouse. The main one turned on. “Wow, that’s a miracle in itself.”

“It’ll be a miracle if we don’t get caught.”

“We won’t. But I’m not sure where we can find this. Speaking of, why doesn’t Cisco lock his computers when he leaves?”

“Probably because he wasn’t expecting people to look at it. How about typing in ‘Oliver Queen’? Maybe they compiled stuff in there. I’m assuming this is what it’s about. Dad probably did something, and they don’t want us to know about it. You do the typing.”

“Cuz you don’t want your fingerprints on this?”

“We’re not doing anything wrong. Technically. Now look Dad up.”

She drew up a file that had to be a hundred pages long, but the top link brought tears to her eyes. “What in the world….” She double-clicked on it, drawing up the Twitter video. Of her dad getting mugged. Shot. And then him killing three men. _Boys_. “No.” It wasn’t possible. He only killed when― _when he’s too heartbroken to live anymore._ He thought they were dead, because she caused them to have to flee. Her selfishness caused this. “Oh, God. Oh… _God_ , William. This is all my fault! I-I never should’ve gotten involved with Archer. I…” she covered her mouth after a sob tore through her. “I caused this.”

“No. No, you didn’t. This isn’t―”

“Shut up!” She whirled around, her hand still pressed on the mouse, tears streaming down her face. “Can you honestly look at me and say it wasn’t my fault? I brought the Bratva to our house. I screamed at Daddy and blamed him for _everything_. And it ends up being me who causes the most heartache. Because I had a crush. This is why this is all happening!”

He tipped his head to the side and stared at her, tears filling his eyes. She turned back to the computer screen and clicked the video again. And again. Her father would never do that unless he wasn’t himself. And how could he be? She’d done all of this. He thought she died hating him. Maybe he even blamed her for their deaths. He should, because this…Felicity not being able to enjoy her baby, them being stuck in Star Labs, unable to step outside, her dad on a witch hunt of revenge, being shot at least once in the leg…this was her doing.

“Y’know, Ellie, I remember when that video came on and we realized that Annie was kidnapped. First there was anger and it was mostly directed at Dad, but then, as the day passed, I realized that it wasn’t his fault. It was _mine_. And then he got her back, and he collapsed on the ground. That was the scariest night of my life.” William’s voice cracked. It did a lot these days, but this time it was of heartbreak. “I thought he was gonna die thinking I hated him, and the only thing I could think about was giving him a big hug and saying ‘I’m sorry’ a hundred times. B-But I couldn’t because I inadvertently put him in the hospital.”

Ellie lowered her head and pressed her cheek to her shoulder.

“Dad did his best to convince me that it wasn’t my fault, just like I tried to convince him that this whole situation wasn’t his fault. Things is, Ellie…we all carry a little bit of responsibility. If we had been there for Daddy after Mom died, maybe he wouldn’t have pulled away so quick. If I hadn’t turned him in, maybe we could’ve gotten through everything without the bullet scars and all the nightmares. But the key in those words is _maybe_.” He took a deep breath. “We don’t know what would’ve happened. Maybe the Bratva found us because you talked to Archer. But maybe they did. And if they didn’t…they would’ve found us eventually, and Mom’s tablet might’ve been dead. You just never know.”

He pried her hand off the mouse and spun the chair around. She let him pull her to a standing position and put his arms around her. Ellie sagged against him, thankful for the first time that her brother was taller and bigger than her now. He felt a little bit like her dad right now, his words of wisdom seeping in, despite how much she wanted to hate herself.

“Dad doesn’t blame you for this, and this is your little brother who turned his own father in telling you that this is not your fault. It’s _not_. And you can blame yourself for it all you want, but it’s not gonna make you any more at fault. Okay? Dad has walked a tiny rope of being okay for the past couple years. Any little slip and he was gonna fall off that. It was already happening, and it’ll continue to happen until we take the Bratva down. Then we’re gonna be okay. All of us.”

She nodded into his sweatshirt. Exhaustion took over, trying to suck her into the void. Ellie looked up at him and whispered, “Could you, uh, find me a blanket and a pillow? I need to lay down for a bit.”

“Sure.” He walked them to the first bedroom, and helped her lay down on bed. He pulled the blankets over her, and squeezed her hand. “You gonna be okay or should I stay with you for a bit?”

“I-I’ll be okay.”

He cocked his head.

She closed her eyes and let out a little laugh. “I know that look. It’s like Daddy’s it’s-funny-you-think-I’m-letting-this-go look.”

“Like father, like son, I guess.” He shrugged. “I just don’t want you to be alone, because I’d be a sucky brother.”

“You’re everything but a sucky brother, Willie.” She closed her eyes, hoping to get a few minutes of sleep. That was part of the problem. No one slept more than four hours the past couple weeks, which wasn’t good. They would all die from sleep deprivation before the Bratva got to them. The video played in her head. Over and over again. Would she ever get that out? Being hit by a crowbar and not remembering the past while would be nice. Not remembering the past two weeks would be even better. _Remember William’s words_. He spoke from experience; he knew how to deal with guilt. If she listened to him before, this wouldn’t be happening. None of it. But if she listened to his advice from a few minutes ago, she could at least learn to forgive herself.

William left her side abruptly, but his footsteps stopped at the door. Ellie opened her eyes to see Archer standing with him in the hallway, talking. _Oh, no._ A fist-fight would happen in the next few minutes if she didn’t intervene, and just yelling at them from her bed wouldn’t work. With a long sigh, she stood up and trudged to the guys. “What’re you talking about?”

William put his hand on Ellie’s arm. “Archer thinks the Brava’s going to attack.”

“And why do you think that?”

“Based on a stupid assumption he made.”

“Willie, for once let him talk.” Thankfully, he backed up and gave Archer some breathing room.

“Everyone went after the Bratva and left us here. Isn’t that slightly concerning?”

“We’re fine—”

“William, hear him out.” Mostly because the idea he raised made sense too. “Though I don’t know what you’re proposing.”

“I’m saying that we’re in danger. It’s up to you decide what you do with that information.” He shot William a look, which was returned with a death glare. Ellie sighed and took her brother’s arm.

“Can I talk to you?”

“If this is going to be you yelling at me, then no.”

“It’s not. Come on.” She pulled him into the room and shut the door. “He has a point.”

“If Mom thought there was any reason for concern, she wouldn’t have left us.”

“Mom’s not thinking clearly.”

“Neither are you, arguably.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “William…I don’t want to fight. Can we just agree on something for once?”

“Not until I check this out. I trust you, but I don’t trust him. So maybe we can call Cisco? Or we could go and check the security cameras.”

He was trying not to fight, so she would do her best not to as well. Even if she wanted to yell at him for saying he didn’t trust Archer. “Security cameras. If we got into the computers the first time, I’m sure we could get something. Should we check on the kids?”

They checked on the kids before going to the main Star Labs area, Archer following them. Every several steps, William glanced back at him. Ellie tried to ignore it. He was being Oliver. Careful, and suspicious no matter what. She didn’t mind him being ‘dad’ in this situation; the problem was that when Oliver did this, it drove her nuts. She took a seat at the computers and found the security cameras after a few tries. “Here’s what—no.”

William slammed his hands on the desk, releasing a loud swear word. “Find guns! I got a bow. Archer, get the kids!”

She couldn’t get up. Her eyes couldn’t move from the screen. Bratva. They were here, and they didn’t have any help. Archer was right.

“ _Elizabeth_!” Her brother screamed her name. “ _Move_!”

Doing that could save their lives. Ellie jumped up, bonking her knees on the desk. That didn’t matter, even if they stung as she ran towards what had to be a weapons area. Star Labs had to have a few guns, didn’t they? But there weren’t any guns in the rooms. “Call Mom!”

“I can’t!”

Then they’d do this on their own. “Let’s find somewhere we can hide. And a place for defense.”

“I got the kids!” Archer yelled from the hallway. “Let’s go. We have to go!”

This time, William listened to him. He had the bow now, and the quiver swung on his back. He led the way, Ellie taking up the rear. Her brother took them down the corridor furthest away from the noises of the Bratva entering. How long until they figured out where they were? William could only hold them off for so long. They needed to hide. And they needed to hide a lot better than they used to during their games. “Is there a map somewhere?” She caught Annie as she tripped. “It’s okay. We’re gonna be fine.” It did nothing to calm her or anyone else. Couldn’t they be safe for just three days? Was it too much to ask?

“Do you think they post a map on the wall?” William tossed the snarky words over his shoulder.

“How about that door?” Archer pointed just as they rounded a corner. When William drew up, Ellie kept following the hallway until she reached one last door that opened into a closet that could only keep them safe for so long. But it would work. “If that door isn’t opened, there’s—”

Annie screamed. Followed by Piper. _No._ Ellie sprinted back towards them, everything in her body yearning for three years ago. Their dad was in prison, William hated everything, and no one knew what to do, but it was easy. Kind of normal. Not anymore. The Bratva couldn’t have gotten there that fast. What happened? Maybe stopping now would be better.

“Ellie, don’t—” William’s words were cut off, followed by another shout from Clayton.

She stopped short. No. It wasn’t possible. _Just go_. She couldn’t get out of it anymore anyways. Archer met her when she rounded the corner, William’s bow and quiver in his hands. A smile on his face. A sob welled in her throat. She’d done it again. Caused the family to be broken apart. What would Felicity think when she got back? They would be dead. Because she had a crush.

“Why?” The men were getting closer. If they had any chance, they needed to do it soon. She looked her siblings over. They were fine, though Clayton’s eye swelled up. Her gaze went back to Archer. He blurred through her tears. “You can’t do this.”

“You’re an idiot.” He pointed the bow at the closet. “In.”

She agreed with him on that point. “Please…”

“Shut up, or I’m killing you right on the spot. Get in there. _Now_.” He grabbed Annie by the back of her shirt, but William jerked his hand away.

“Try to hurt me, _fine_. But don’t you dare touch Annie.”

“I’m not going to be touching any of you. The Bratva will. With guns.”

Annie opened her mouth to scream but Clayton put his hand over her lips and shook his head. They would make it longer if no one made noise. Maybe they’d live for another minute. At the most. _Come on Barry._ Cisco. Felicity. Anyone. Anyone but her boyfriend. What was she thinking? A random guy who didn’t have much of a French accent who just magically appeared one day. With a cute smile and a knack for kissing. She should’ve seen it sooner. “I’m so—” 

“Save it.” William shot her a look that raised her spirits a millimeter. “Everybody in.” His voice deepened. It almost sounded like Oliver’s at this octave, and it made everyone get into the storage closet. He had to know what he was doing. Because she didn’t. Her body didn’t want to move. It could barely get a decent breath in an attempt to keep living for just a few more minutes.

The footsteps and voices got closer. One Bratva agent appeared, his gun raised. Ellie pushed Annie and Piper further back into the closet. The older ones could fight, they couldn’t. _Please…_

William looked at her out of the corner of his eye. A barely-there communication that told her what would happen next. As Archer started to close the door, William scooted around the steel frame and smashed his fist across the other kid’s face as the agent fired his gun. Ellie waited for a second, trying to figure out where the man would shoot at next.

“There’s no time! We gotta go now!” Clayton shoved past her and shot out of the room, Harper on his heels. They got around the bend, a bullet barely missing Clayton’s leg as he pulled his sister around the corner before him.

William had the bow now, but no arrows. Ellie looked back at her little sisters. They weren’t moving. Just shaking. They would be alright in here. She stood at the entrance, away from the bullets, until Archer got close enough for her to grab an arrow. She scooted it across the ground towards William, who fired it at the agent. “Ellie, _go_!” His scream shot the three of them left into motion.

Annie went out first, then Piper. Ellie helped drive Archer up against the wall, and knock him unconscious just as three Bratva men ran towards them. “ _William_!”

He shoved her behind her and fired the bow. One arrow missed its mark, but he got two down. The last went down when Ellie fired Archer’s gun that she pulled off him. He’d stuck it too far into his boot; he couldn’t get it free to shoot at William. One thing that he did that helped them. More men came towards them, but her brother backed them up, scooting towards the corner that would give them some protection.

Seven men fired bullets at them, getting closer. Ellie glanced at William, but he shook his head. He needed to shoot. Their dad could fire seven arrows into seven people quicker than anyone else, but William couldn’t. At all. They would be dead if he missed _one_. Two seconds later, he pulled out the explosive arrow and fired it. “ _Go_!” He pointed down the hall where the other kids went. “Ellie, _now_!”

He’d better be coming with her. She clicked the gun’s safety on and ran, and glanced behind. He wasn’t moving. “William!”

“Find a way out! I’ve got arrows!”

She should’ve left him the gun, but then she wouldn’t have a weapon, because using a bow wasn’t one of her specialties. _God protect him_. “Clayton?”

“In here.” He cracked the door and peeked out. His eyes went wide. “Where’s William?”

“He’s buying us some time. Any ideas?” She slipped into the room but kept the gun at her hip. They didn’t have any options. Go through a wall or go back through all the bad guys. That was it. “Are there…plans in here?”

“Like floor plans?”

Another explosion rocked the room. Ellie reached down and squeezed Annie’s hand. “We’re gonna get out of here.” Though she didn’t know how to make that any more convincing. “And yeah, we need floor plans. I know nothing about this place, and that doesn’t help anything.”

“I got one idea.” As Harper searched for plans, Clayton walked along the wall. “This is the outside hallway, so this leads to outside. Does William have explosive arrows anymore?”

This would work. If he saved his arrows. Ellie leaned out the door and yelled, “William! We need you!” _Save you arrows._ It would do no good if he didn’t have any arrows that could explode walls. They could do that, right? When he came running, she pulled him into the room and bolted the door. It was heavy. Steel, hopefully. “Do you have any explosive arrows left?”

“Two.”

“We need to use them.”

“Will, we’re on the very outside of the building.” Clayton tapped the wall. “If you can use one of the explosives, we can get out of here.”

“Are they even that powerful?”

“Well,” Harper dropped an empty container on the ground. “It’s either that or we’re dead, so you might as well try it.”

“And you have two of them.” Clayton’s hands shook as he pulled away from the wall. “You gotta try it.”

“Okay, but everybody needs to get out of here. Ellie, you get the gun. Everybody out and down the hallway to the left. _Now_!” His barking got everybody out of there. Ellie clicked the safety off and stayed on William’s side, prepared to fire if necessary. William stood at the wall and aimed the bow at the far wall. He couldn’t miss, but the explosive might not work.

“Ellie, put the safety back on.”

As soon as she did, William released the arrow and took them both to the floor. Things she couldn’t identify came flying back against the wall, where they’d stood. “Thank you.”

“Did it work? Watch the corner.” He stood up but Clayton got there first.

“It worked! It’s mostly gone!”

Tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t blame it on the smoke. William made her stay on the ground until he fired the second arrow into the disappearing wall. “Alright, let’s go!” They could hear the men again. Ellie scooped up Annie and carried her through the remnants of the wall and into the darkening day. “Any idea where we can go now?”

William came out, followed by the rest of the Queens. He pointed to the right. “That’s the entrance. They were coming from the left. So we could go that way.”

“Then let’s go.” She set Annie on her feet. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah.” She sniffed. “I want Mama.”

“If we get outa here, then we’ll see her soon.” They walked along the edge of the building, William in the lead with the bow. Clayton took the gun from her so that she could hold Annie’s hand. She couldn’t think about anything. Not about how Archer betrayed them or how they might still be in danger. William could hold people off with explosives but now they were out. They would be going into an unknown city with no money. There weren’t any payphones anyways.

“Ellie?” William drew up and looked back at her. “I don’t know what to do.” His shoulders slumped a little. Almost as if the terror and the situation slapped him in the face. The bow fell to his side, instead of up in guard mode. “I…I really don’t know what to do.”

Clayton put his hand on William’s shoulder and squeezed. “You saved our lives.”

“Yeah, Willie.” Annie stayed next to Ellie but her voice brought comfort to all of them. “Thank you.”

His lip quivered, but after a couple seconds, he took a deep breath. “We just need to come up with something.”

“Anything would be better than this, so let’s go. We can walk until we get an idea.”

William and Clayton went around the corner alone, and then came back to tell them it was clear. No Bratva. Maybe they assumed that they’d blown themselves up. Which was entirely possible, and probably still possible. Ellie took the rest of the kids around the corner to meet their brothers. “We can’t get ahold of Mom.”

“No, which means we’re on our own for the time being.” They stood close to the building, away from any security cameras. William pointed to the forest that eventually took them into town. “We might as well get out of here and wait for someone to find us again. The Bratva will come out eventually, and I’ve got four arrows left.”

Almost on cue, a gun fired. Ellie slapped her hands over Annie’s and Piper’s mouths before they gave away their location. She nodded to William, who loaded the bow. Clayton took off towards the woods, Piper behind him. When had they gotten so brave? She just wanted to collapse to the ground and scream. This was all her fault. Befriending Archer. Bringing them all to his house. Bringing him to Central City. If not for William, they would be dead because of her. Because she had a crush on a guy who ended up being their greatest enemy. She—

“ _Elizabeth_!” William screamed in her ear. “ _Go_!” He slammed into her as he started running, dragging her with him. The Bratva were getting closer. To all of them. Ellie screamed at the four in front of them to keep running. No matter what. William yelled something about getting into town, but what if they couldn’t make it that far?

                                                   *******

Felicity stepped into the foyer after Barry unlocked the door with his super speed. It came in handy a lot, especially when he whizzed by them to search the house for their guy. Alan. Who named their kid Alan? He just sounded like a creep. When Barry appeared and told them where to go, she walked in between the guys up the stairs and down the hall. A little bit ago, doing this would terrify her, but her heart raced with excitement this time, mostly thanks to telling herself how mad Oliver would be when he found out about this. She loved the thought of seeing his eyes bulge, and then get squinty at her.

The Flash went into the bedroom first, and then Diggle, then her. She stood a few inches behind the boys, but waved at the man in bed. “Hi, Alan! I’m Felicity Smoak.” Barry took the gun away from him and got him tied to a chair. She waved her hand at Diggle as she stepped towards the man, handcuffed to the chair with clothes. “We need a little bit of information from you.”

“You seriously think you can get something like that?”

“Yes.” She pulled her tablet out of her jacket, and gestured for Diggle, just like they planned. Her eyes flitted down his body, taking note of the bandages on his arms and legs. Oliver had definitely been here, and it took a lot to get anything out of him. What if they couldn’t? A man like this didn’t break easy. Maybe ever. “June fifteenth. We know you know the date, and what you did, so don’t lie about anything.”

“I’m not telling you anything, Mrs. Queen. Though I have to say that I’m surprised you’re alive.”

“Reports of my death have been…greatly exaggerated. And since now we’ve clarified the fact that I’m still alive, I need information.”

“I’ll die before that happens.”

She turned around and caught Barry’s eyes. They’d talked about this, what she was comfortable seeing someone do. They’d agreed on a few torture methods, though the information would be coming from the things she did. With her tablet. When Barry whizzed past her, she clenched her eyes shut. Alan screamed as Barry’s fingers entered his body.

“You won’t be alive for long if you don’t talk!”

She opened her eyes again when the screaming stopped. “What did you do with Thea Harper?”

“She’s gone.”

“You gave her to the Bratva. We all know that. But where. Did. You. Take. Her?”

“A hangar.” Alan gulped. “It was Jerry’s.”

“Well, he’s dead.”

“Still a viable option.”

Noah would take care of finding out whether or not he was telling the truth. Felicity turned back to Alan, who wore a smirk. It annoyed her. A lot. She gritted her teeth and swung her hand across his cheek. Barry made the loudest noise in response to that. _That hurt._ She’d probably just broken her hand, but it was necessary. “I need to know where Thea Queen is! _Now_!”

“I don’t know where she is, Mrs. Queen. Same as I told your husband. I was the guy who kidnapped her, but I brought her to that airport and that was the end of it.”

“You’re a member of the _Bratva_. You have to know something that is of use to me.”

“There’s nothing that you can do that will make me tell you.”

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “My husband got through to you. Plus, we already know a few things, so it would help you and save you a ton of money if you tell us everything you know.” She’d done her research on this man. He loved his houses, and his cars. Maybe he was a Bratva agent, but he cared most about his cash. Though physical torture wasn’t something she could ever do―her hand still ached as she typed in her tablet password― _this_ she could do with ease.

“Money?”

“Mr. Walker, according to this, your bank account in Starling City alone has twenty million. It would be just too bad if half of that sum went to an orphanage in Haiti.” As he protested with words that involved expletives, she sent the money, flashing him a smug smile as she did so. “I guess it depends on who you’re asking. Those kids, or you.”

Diggle chuckled.

“Looks like in your Russian bank account, you have a measly fifteen million. Looks like that is all going to an earthquake fund in…Dig?”

“How about Haiti again?”

“Perfect! They thank you for your generosity.”

“You can’t just…do that!”

“Yes, I can.” She tucked the tablet under her arm and leaned close enough to his face he had to pull his head back. “And I will. And I am a very ornery wife right now, so don’t doubt me.” When his lips sealed shut, she pulled away and yanked the tablet out again. It was almost better this way. She could get a little bit of her anger out by sending millions of dollars to children around the world. Likely the only way it would escape, except a punching bag. “Well, the bank in Italy has the most, with fifty-five million. It would be such a shame in you made a sizable donation―”

“Wait!”

She raised her eyebrows as she lowered the tablet. “Yes, Mr. Walker? Would you like me to add a note?”

“For God’s sake, stop wasting my money!”

“I’m not wasting your money. I’m just merely―”

“I gave your husband an address!”

Her fingers lifted from the keyboard. “What address?”

“It’s my base. Where I report to.”

So that’s why he went there. It was a Bratva base, which made sense. They could’ve figured that one out on their own, but since they came all the way here, she wasn’t leaving without some more information. Leverage on something. Maybe Oliver didn’t ask something, and maybe having knowledge he didn’t know would help her find him faster. “If you don’t want all your money sent to children in need, I need every Bratva base you know of.”

“If I tell you, they’ll kill me.”

“I really don’t care. Plus, you told Oliver. You’re already a dead man walking. Flash, could you untie him so he can give us the information?”

Barry yanked the clothes away, but grabbed Alan’s arms as he made an attempt to stand. “You try anything, you won’t like the pain you have to endure.”

Diggle set a piece of paper and a pen on the desk. Alan wrote down three addresses and handed the paper to him. “That’s it. Bratva agents aren’t given the whole gist of anything, as Oliver will attest to.” He looked passed him to Felicity. “I’m sure you’re worried about him, Mrs. Queen.”

_Conceal, don’t reveal._ She nodded anyways.

“When he came here, he shot an arrow through my leg, pinned me to the desk, and proceeded to hold an arrow to my daughter’s neck, and threatened to kill her if I didn’t tell him where Thea was.”

Bile rose in her throat. Six hours ago, she would’ve yelled at him for yelling and twisting the truth, but after seeing the video of her sweetheart killing three boys, her mouth stayed shut. _Breathe, Felicity._ She would get him back. All of him; she had to have faith. As small as a mustard seed. It was true; that’s how little faith anyone needed, but Oliver’s seed had withered away.

“Well, Mrs. Queen, aren’t you going to retort something back about how your husband isn’t a killer? Felicity from Queen Consolidated apparently had a way of doing that when someone trashed anyone she cared about.”

“That was Felicity Smoak, and like you’ve said multiple times, my last name is Queen now.” With that, she handed the reins over to the guys and stepped out of the room. Her dad came after her. “Don’t you want to be involved in getting any other information that you need?”

“They’re not getting any more out of him. I want to make sure you stay safe.”

“Dad, I’m not seven anymore. I can handle myself.” Though his words did something to her heart that she wasn’t fond of.

“Maybe so, but I care about you, and though you found me just because my help is necessary, I hope to someday rekindle my relationship with you.”

Arguing could be handy, but she decided to just nod. The door opened and the other two members of their makeshift team walked out. Diggle handed Felicity the piece of paper with the addresses. “Think that can help us in any way?”

“We’ll see. I think it could, in terms of getting information from three different sources. Now that I know where they are, I could possibly do some hacking. Unless they’re completely old fashioned.” She looked back at Diggle, who would fall on top of her if she stopped walking. “How fast can we have a plane up in the air?”

“Thirty minutes tops. Lyla’s on standby.”

“Felicity, I had to say it, but there isn’t much of a chance Oliver’s still there, let alone by the time we get there. Maybe we should hang around and you and Noah can go through stuff at Star Labs, and then once we get everything we can from here, we head over to Russia.”

“What if he―”

Something on Barry’s suit beeped. He sighed and pressed the Flash emblem on his chest. “Yeah, Cisco―”

“It’s the Bratva! There’s people―” Just as he screamed about someone on the roof, Barry disappeared, leaving the rest of the team standing in the hallway. Felicity collapsed against the wall, listening to Alan laughing in his room. They’d done what the Bratva hoped they’d do. Go after someone with the whole group, thinking the kids would be okay, so that they could attack the weakest part of the Queens. Or maybe not. William and Ellie could handle themselves. But against an army?

“Dig…” She reached out to him for support. “I-I need help.”

He put his arm around her shoulders. “I gotcha, Felicity. Barry will take care of this. There’s nothing that that annoying speedster brat can’t―” He trailed off when Felicity’s phone rang. Noah grabbed her hand before she answered.

“It could be traced.”

“Have you ever met me? No one could figure this out.” She swiped open the phone. “Barry?”

“I can’t find them anywhere!”

“What do you can’t find them anywhere?”

“The kids! I got here and Cisco’s fending off a whole bunch of guys and the kids aren’t here!”

Felicity dropped the phone to the ground and collapsed against the wall. The Bratva had taken them. They would be dead in minutes, and she would be without a family. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the scene where Oliver kills those 'kids': they're not actually kids. They're Bratva agents, but obviously, he doesn't know that, and he won't find out about that until later. But I thought that's something that everyone should know. 
> 
> I hope you mildly enjoyed this chapter! I'm so sorry it's been so long since I posted. Other stories called for the my attention, and this one hasn't been as popular as I've hoped. But I'm hoping I can post some more chapters in the near future. :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post a chapter every Friday! Like the last one, I might take a week break every now and then, but I promise to let everyone know if that's going to happen. :)


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